Listen to Audio Recording

[00:00:00.720 – 00:00:10.860] In one of the steps of the AA program, we make the statement that we came to believe that a power greater than [00:00:10.860 – 00:00:14.700] ourselves could restore us to sanity. [00:00:14.700 – 00:00:21.740] Now, immediately, the thought comes to our minds, what do we mean by sanity? [00:00:21.740 – 00:00:32.299] And once having sanity restored, what are the methods we can use to continue along [00:00:32.299 – 00:00:36.370] a sane life, to continue in this sanity? [00:00:36.370 – 00:00:40.780] Well, sanity comes from the Latin word sanitas. [00:00:40.780 – 00:00:43.080] That means healthy.

[00:00:43.080 – 00:00:47.540] It does not refer to the body, nor to the mind, nor to the soul. [00:00:47.540 – 00:00:50.140] It refers to the personality. [00:00:50.140 – 00:01:00.380] And therefore, the sane person is one who has a healthy personality, who has learned [00:01:00.380 – 00:01:10.920] to and continues in a state of adjustment to life, to reality, to people, and to himself or herself. [00:01:10.920 – 00:01:20.920] Now, in this question of sanity, there comes the problem of the emotions, or [00:01:20.920 – 00:01:24.340] what we call neurotic trends. [00:01:24.340 – 00:01:27.600] Psychiatrists say neuroses.

[00:01:27.600 – 00:01:32.480] And many people will ask themselves or ask someone else, "Am I a neurotic? [00:01:32.480 – 00:01:34.780] Can I tell? [00:01:34.780 – 00:01:41.360] Is there any way I can tell if I'm a neurotic or not?" Well, I'm gonna tell you how, a very simple way. [00:01:41.360 – 00:01:51.420] Uh, there might be psychiatrists that don't agree with me, but at least it answers the question for me, and I believe it would for most members of Alcoholics [00:01:51.420 – 00:01:52.840] Anonymous. [00:01:52.840 – 00:02:01.300] And that is, the so-called normal person reacts most of the time to reason and intelligence. [00:02:01.300 – 00:02:08.500] The neurotic person reacts most of the time to feeling, to emotions.

[00:02:08.500 – 00:02:10.920] And there you have the differentiation. [00:02:10.920 – 00:02:17.840] The more I react to feeling instead of intelligence, the more neurotic I am. [00:02:17.840 – 00:02:25.040] The more I react to intelligence instead of emotion, the more sane, the more normal I am. [00:02:25.040 – 00:02:28.740] Now, we were given 12 steps in AA. [00:02:28.740 – 00:02:38.160] And you who have been in AA any length of time at all know that those suggested steps are a philosophy of living. [00:02:38.160 – 00:02:48.160] They are guidelines to enable us to readjust again to reality in life, which means to sanity in life, to [00:02:48.160 – 00:02:49.680] keep the sanity we have.

[00:02:49.680 – 00:02:59.980] However, with the modern stresses and strains of life, I feel that most of us need a little more [00:02:59.980 – 00:03:10.060] up, over, and above the 12 steps to control many of the emotional tendencies that we find within ourselves, and many of the emotional problems [00:03:10.060 – 00:03:12.440] that come along day in and day out. [00:03:12.440 – 00:03:21.660] So this evening, I'm going to try to give you the best I can what I call certain definite techniques. [00:03:21.660 – 00:03:31.920] Techniques that we can use to control the emotional side of our personality, techniques that will enable us [00:03:31.920 – 00:03:42.180] more solidly to adjust to life and reality, and techniques that will enable us to remain more stable in [00:03:42.180 – 00:03:48.000] the life we live in this world with people and with ourselves and with reality.

[00:03:48.000 – 00:03:50.800] And I've picked these up over the years. [00:03:50.800 – 00:03:54.960] Many of them I've taken from what we call Recovery Incorporated. [00:03:54.960 – 00:04:04.980] Now, for those who don't know, Recovery Incorporated, uh, is a group of neurotic people, people with emotional problems, [00:04:04.980 – 00:04:09.680] who together meet and, as a group, solve these problems. [00:04:09.680 – 00:04:12.420] And they have various techniques to do that. [00:04:12.420 – 00:04:17.720] Those techniques which I feel are beneficial to us, I will also try to give you. [00:04:17.720 – 00:04:27.830] Now, the first one of these techniques, and it's so, uh, elementary a statement that perhaps you might be amazed, but it's very

[00:04:27.830 – 00:04:28.520] fundamental. [00:04:28.520 – 00:04:32.320] And that is keep life simple. [00:04:32.320 – 00:04:35.980] You know, uh, most life is simple. [00:04:35.980 – 00:04:40.680] We m- make it complex, or as the guy said, we screw it up. [00:04:40.680 – 00:04:45.680] The 12 steps are very clear. [00:04:45.680 – 00:04:56.060] The language in the 12 steps, the expressions are very easily understood, but we are going to complicate it as we go along, unless we keep it simple. [00:04:56.060 – 00:05:00.100] I have been accused of oversimplification.

[00:05:00.100 – 00:05:02.300] Perhaps I do. [00:05:02.300 – 00:05:12.400] But with the fundamental basis of normal living meaning to keep life simple, I think we would be better off by making it [00:05:12.400 – 00:05:14.190] a little bit too simple than trying- [00:05:14.288 – 00:05:18.228] To make it so complex in the world that is so complex in itself today. [00:05:18.228 – 00:05:21.848] Take, for example, my daily life. [00:05:21.848 – 00:05:26.808] Everything I add to it begets a need. [00:05:26.808 – 00:05:28.738] And what happens?

[00:05:28.738 – 00:05:30.648] I must fulfill that need. [00:05:30.648 – 00:05:40.648] So instead of a simple life, simple needs, I end up with all kinds of complex needs every day, and when I'm not able to fulfill them all, I [00:05:40.648 – 00:05:45.528] have frustration, friction, neurotic trends, emotional disturbances. [00:05:45.528 – 00:05:48.088] Keep life simple. [00:05:48.088 – 00:05:58.708] Now, AA has contributed two great, uh, factors to the simplicity of living, and that is the importance AA attaches [00:05:58.708 – 00:06:03.108] to the habit of decision and to the danger of resentments. [00:06:03.108 – 00:06:13.128] AA tells us that one of our biggest problems is the habit of indecision, and the word itself, deciso, means

[00:06:13.128 – 00:06:15.868] to cut in half, and that's very true. [00:06:15.868 – 00:06:23.628] A habit of decision will halve the problems of our lives, particularly the emotional problems. [00:06:23.628 – 00:06:33.728] Anyone who is disturbed emotionally to any degree is a very, uh, much a victim to indecision, [00:06:33.728 – 00:06:36.348] almost inevitably. [00:06:36.348 – 00:06:46.708] Resentments, we know with the alcoholic, will cause, again, frustration and also cause the craving [00:06:46.708 – 00:06:47.448] for alcohol. [00:06:47.448 – 00:06:54.288] Now, we'll have a little bit more about that in a few moments when we try to see what can we do about resentments.

[00:06:54.288 – 00:07:04.308] Because recovery handles resentments in a very more definite way than we do in AA, but some of us [00:07:04.308 – 00:07:06.628] can use it very handily. [00:07:06.628 – 00:07:13.548] Then the next technique is to practice being satisfied. [00:07:13.548 – 00:07:23.568] Now, when I use the word practice, that means to do something about it, to make up my mind I am going to be satisfied with the things that [00:07:23.568 – 00:07:30.168] are and not constantly strive with what I think should be and probably never will be. [00:07:30.168 – 00:07:38.228] Once again, I eliminate frustration, I eliminate friction, I eliminate neurotic trends and emotional difficulties. [00:07:38.228 – 00:07:41.518] Practice being satisfied.

[00:07:41.518 – 00:07:44.748] If it's not A-okay, well, then it's okay, so I'll accept it. [00:07:44.748 – 00:07:55.208] Of course, AA gives us the idea of acceptance in the prayer that we say, "Oh God, give us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, [00:07:55.208 – 00:08:01.248] the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." And you know what that wisdom is? [00:08:01.248 – 00:08:11.388] That wisdom is something that tells us that 99% of the things outside of myself I can't change in this world, and 99% of the things inside [00:08:11.388 – 00:08:12.828] myself I can change. [00:08:12.828 – 00:08:21.588] That's the wisdom, to know the difference, and that will give me a great practice in being satisfied in acceptance. [00:08:21.588 – 00:08:24.268] I can lower my sights.

[00:08:24.268 – 00:08:34.668] You know, one of the big problems of the modern era is that so much is thrust on us as possible, whereas in reality it is not possible. [00:08:34.668 – 00:08:36.268] Look at your TV commercials. [00:08:36.268 – 00:08:41.268] Dance through your work, you know. [00:08:41.268 – 00:08:51.528] All the things are put as possible potentials [00:08:51.528 – 00:08:53.288] which are not reality. [00:08:53.288 – 00:08:56.788] Reality is not that way. [00:08:56.788 – 00:09:07.088] Reality is something objective, something real, and unless I accept those things in life as real, I will have emotional difficulties.

[00:09:07.088 – 00:09:09.548] Take, for example, a husband and wife. [00:09:09.548 – 00:09:15.538] What happens between husband and wife because we cannot accept reality? [00:09:15.538 – 00:09:17.108] What happened? [00:09:17.108 – 00:09:24.528] The husband, when he met his wife years before, thought she's, uh, was so beautiful, so wonderful, that he felt like he could eat her up. [00:09:24.528 – 00:09:27.408] Then he married her and wished he had. [00:09:27.408 – 00:09:36.628] He met a fictitious person; he married a real person. [00:09:36.628 – 00:09:40.548] Practice being satisfied.

[00:09:40.548 – 00:09:50.548] Then the next technique is, contrary to popular opinion, Almighty God is not [00:09:50.548 – 00:09:53.528] the editor of the Li- Reader's Digest. [00:09:53.528 – 00:10:03.388] Another amazing thing in our modern wo- why, it was in the Reader's Digest, it must be true. [00:10:03.388 – 00:10:13.447] And herein comes the Advertising Council of America for plenty of, uh, [00:10:13.448 – 00:10:14.368] leveling at. [00:10:14.368 – 00:10:16.947] What is their slogan? [00:10:16.947 – 00:10:19.168] You see it on your TV screen.

[00:10:19.168 – 00:10:24.168] Their slogan is to create a need where there has been none. [00:10:24.168 – 00:10:28.388] That's the fertile field for emotional pro- [00:10:28.523 – 00:10:28.833] Problems. [00:10:28.833 – 00:10:34.463] Frustrations, friction, and all types of neurotic trends. [00:10:34.463 – 00:10:39.923] Then the next technique is learn to like people. [00:10:39.923 – 00:10:41.983] They're not all SOBs in this world. [00:10:41.983 – 00:10:47.443] You know, when we sober up, it's amazing how many nice people there are in the world.

[00:10:47.443 – 00:10:57.523] And I, I'm convinced, really, I have given retreats to every segment of society, including priest retreats, nuns retreats, and what have [00:10:57.523 – 00:10:57.703] you. [00:10:57.703 – 00:11:07.163] And I'm convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that 90% of all people in this world are doing a good job with what they have to work with. [00:11:07.163 – 00:11:11.212] In other words, they're sincerely trying to do the best they can. [00:11:11.212 – 00:11:17.143] Now, if we can't like to associate with people, at least we can change our attitude. [00:11:17.143 – 00:11:27.263] Some of us perhaps may not be so easily adaptable to association with people, but at least we can quit condemning them, criticizing [00:11:27.263 – 00:11:32.403] them, and begin to tolerate, learn to love, and then after loving, learn to like.

[00:11:32.403 – 00:11:37.523] Because like has to do with the emotions, love has to do with the intellect and the heart. [00:11:37.523 – 00:11:42.903] Then the next one is practice cheerfulness. [00:11:42.903 – 00:11:45.413] And again, that takes practice. [00:11:45.413 – 00:11:48.083] We have to do things cheerfully. [00:11:48.083 – 00:11:49.963] Go out of our way to practice it. [00:11:49.963 – 00:11:53.563] Look how, how much difference there is in our daily lives. [00:11:53.563 – 00:11:57.703] The phone rings, "Hello?" "Oh, good morning.

[00:11:57.703 – 00:12:00.063] Oh." "It's the boss. [00:12:00.063 – 00:12:05.283] Well, how are you?" Practice cheerfulness. [00:12:05.283 – 00:12:10.043] Then the next one is use adversity. [00:12:10.043 – 00:12:18.483] Learn to see through adversity as God's will, and not let adversity throw us. [00:12:18.483 – 00:12:23.643] Whatever happens, God permitted or He caused it, one of the two. [00:12:23.643 – 00:12:25.303] God's will be done. [00:12:25.303 – 00:12:29.823] That's what gives the sense of humor, you know, in this world.

[00:12:29.823 – 00:12:32.783] God has a terrific sense of humor. [00:12:32.783 – 00:12:43.303] And if you don't believe that, just for a moment, stop and realize that you and I, and all the millions of people in this world, [00:12:43.303 – 00:12:46.983] were created for the honor and glory of God. [00:12:46.983 – 00:12:53.543] He had to have a sense of humor. [00:12:53.543 – 00:13:03.543] Many great men in history, and women, became great not [00:13:03.543 – 00:13:09.023] because there were not adversities in their life, but only because of great adversity. [00:13:09.023 – 00:13:11.272] Take for example, Caesar was an epileptic.

[00:13:11.272 – 00:13:18.022] President Roosevelt, uh, was a paralytic, and Anne Keller, uh, was blind. [00:13:18.022 – 00:13:26.403] But because of these adversities, they used them as stepping stones, not as obstacles to progress. [00:13:26.403 – 00:13:35.243] Not something to shed tears in our own self-pity, but to use as stepping stones to happiness here and hereafter. [00:13:35.243 – 00:13:45.943] Then the next technique, and this has to do with the Recovery Incorporated program, practice objectivity [00:13:45.943 – 00:13:46.583] in life. [00:13:46.583 – 00:13:48.263] What does that mean? [00:13:48.263 – 00:13:57.383] Practice objectivity means to start with getting off the me, I, we, and us, and getting on to you, they, them, and theirs.

[00:13:57.383 – 00:14:04.523] In other words, look objectively at this world, and not subjectively through me. [00:14:04.523 – 00:14:10.483] To get off the habit of judging all things as it affects me. [00:14:10.483 – 00:14:12.943] Practice objectivity. [00:14:12.943 – 00:14:13.883] Now, how are we gonna do this? [00:14:13.883 – 00:14:19.603] First, be convinced that feelings are not facts. [00:14:19.603 – 00:14:26.743] I remember when I was in the sanitarium, it's nicer to- … [00:14:26.743 – 00:14:36.883] call it a sanitarium, uh- I had to see the doctor every morning, and he would ask me, "Father, how are you doing?" And I'd say, "I

[00:14:36.883 – 00:14:40.623] feel terrible." He said, "Father, I didn't ask you how you felt. [00:14:40.623 – 00:14:44.863] I asked you how you were doing." Objectivity. [00:14:44.863 – 00:14:46.783] Feelings are not facts. [00:14:46.783 – 00:14:50.083] Then the young fellow who had a job for the first time. [00:14:50.083 – 00:14:54.563] And he asked the boss to let him off and go home. [00:14:54.563 – 00:15:04.563] And the boss says, "Why?" And the young fella said, "Because I don't feel well." Just then the boss said, "Look, my young boy, there's one thing [00:15:04.563 – 00:15:17.663] you'll never learn too soon nor remember too long, that most of the work in this work-a-day world is done by people who just don't feel well." So

[00:15:17.663 – 00:15:23.363] when it comes to nervous disorder, not what are my feelings, but what are the facts? [00:15:23.363 – 00:15:28.763] And the only one that can tell me that is the doctor, not myself. [00:15:28.763 – 00:15:34.903] Decide by logic, intelligence, not by feelings. [00:15:34.903 – 00:15:38.383] Then pursuant of that comes another one. [00:15:38.383 – 00:15:42.613] Feelings not based on facts will disto- [00:15:42.818 – 00:15:44.918] Appear under objectivity. [00:15:44.918 – 00:15:49.238] Now, that might amaze a lot of you people, but it's true.

[00:15:49.238 – 00:15:52.058] Recovery has used this thousands of times. [00:15:52.058 – 00:15:56.498] A neurotic has all kinds of feelings, you know, palpitations, pains, and what have you. [00:15:56.498 – 00:16:06.778] And such a person can very well prove to themselves and get rid of those feelings, prove that they are not objective facts by simply pinpoint [00:16:06.778 – 00:16:07.778] where, where is the feeling? [00:16:07.778 – 00:16:08.498] Where does it hurt me? [00:16:08.498 – 00:16:10.518] It'll disappear. [00:16:10.518 – 00:16:13.438] Because you're making it objective.

[00:16:13.438 – 00:16:20.818] Or another way is to take out your watch and say, "Now how long is that gonna last?" How many seconds? [00:16:20.818 – 00:16:27.677] Before 10 seconds have passed, the feeling will have left, if it's a neurotic feeling, if it's not factual. [00:16:27.677 – 00:16:32.178] And if the doctor therefore tells us, "There's nothing wrong with you physically. [00:16:32.178 – 00:16:33.578] It's functional. [00:16:33.578 – 00:16:38.518] It's emotional," then it's coming from feelings and not from facts. [00:16:38.518 – 00:16:44.398] Then another way to proc- practice objectivity is to move the muscles. [00:16:44.398 – 00:16:51.078] No matter how bad we feel, how bad our nerves are, we can always move the muscles.

[00:16:51.078 – 00:16:53.438] We can always do something. [00:16:53.438 – 00:17:03.318] I remember about two years ago I had a long-distance call from a friend of mine in another part of the country, and she was in a panic. [00:17:03.318 – 00:17:10.438] And she said, "Father, I'm just in a terrible mess and I can't do anything about it." I said, "What do you mean you can't do anything about it?" "Well," she said, "Father, I can't. [00:17:10.438 – 00:17:12.618] I just simply can't." I said, "Now wait a minute. [00:17:12.618 – 00:17:22.638] You called me, didn't you?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Well, uh, did you pick up the phone?" She said, "Yes." "And you dialed it?" I said, "Y-" She said, "Yes." "And you gave me, [00:17:22.638 – 00:17:32.658] the operator my number?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Well, that means just one thing, that you have hands, feet, lips, tongue which can [00:17:32.658 – 00:17:34.158] move if you want them to.

[00:17:34.158 – 00:17:44.178] You can move the muscles." "Now all you have to do is once more put down the phone, hang it up, then pick it up, dial his number," he had– she had [00:17:44.178 – 00:17:49.898] gotten in a mess with some fellow, and she w- thought she was in love with him, and now she found out she wasn't. [00:17:49.898 – 00:17:51.978] And she was panicky. [00:17:51.978 – 00:17:53.558] Well, she couldn't do anything about it. [00:17:53.558 – 00:18:04.638] So I said, "Take the phone, call his number, and say, 'Goodbye.'" The [00:18:04.638 – 00:18:06.058] amazing thing is she did. [00:18:06.058 – 00:18:09.878] She moved the muscles.

[00:18:09.878 – 00:18:15.638] Then the next technique is self-analysis. [00:18:15.638 – 00:18:17.738] Now, this is not inventory. [00:18:17.738 – 00:18:22.778] Self-analysis or self-diagnosis is never objective. [00:18:22.778 – 00:18:24.718] Even the Romans knew that. [00:18:24.718 – 00:18:26.078] The Greeks knew it. [00:18:26.078 – 00:18:36.098] They had a saying, "No one is a judge in his own case." Therefore, the one who thinks they know more than the doctor or more than the clergyman or more than [00:18:36.098 – 00:18:39.418] the psychiatrist, they are not objective.

[00:18:39.418 – 00:18:50.298] Then the next practice of objectivity is hesitation is fear, and [00:18:50.298 – 00:18:56.678] any action will gradually control or eliminate fear. [00:18:56.678 – 00:19:00.838] Fear in the alcoholic in the beginning, why were we afraid? [00:19:00.838 – 00:19:08.098] Some of us didn't know, but action on this alcoholism took care a lot of the fears. [00:19:08.098 – 00:19:10.378] Fear in approaching AA. [00:19:10.378 – 00:19:14.898] We hesitated, and thus we got afraid. [00:19:14.898 – 00:19:17.518] Fear in taking the 12 steps.

[00:19:17.518 – 00:19:24.078] A fellow or a gal comes to AA, she hesitates in taking the 12 steps, then she becomes afraid. [00:19:24.078 – 00:19:27.238] Fear in taking the third step. [00:19:27.238 – 00:19:33.318] We're afraid that having found God we might n- have nothing else besides. [00:19:33.318 – 00:19:43.498] Like the character in the Hound of Heaven who said, "I fled Him down the nights and down the days; in the labyrinthine ways of my own mind I sped, lest having found [00:19:43.498 – 00:19:46.558] Him I would have nothing else besides." We're afraid. [00:19:46.558 – 00:19:49.518] Our approach to God, we're afraid. [00:19:49.518 – 00:19:54.578] Now, there's two types of fear in life: intellectual fear, emotional fear.

[00:19:54.578 – 00:19:57.138] One's objective, one's feeling. [00:19:57.138 – 00:20:01.798] Intellectual fear tells us of an evil that is present. [00:20:01.798 – 00:20:06.658] It is present, and if we act contrary to it, we will not be hurt. [00:20:06.658 – 00:20:08.638] For example, the soldier going into battle. [00:20:08.638 – 00:20:09.818] He's afraid. [00:20:09.818 – 00:20:11.478] He has reason to be afraid. [00:20:11.478 – 00:20:21.538] But if he goes into battle anyway, no matter how he feels, he'll conquer the fear, and many, many thousands, millions of people have done this in the wars down through the ages.

[00:20:21.538 – 00:20:26.398] Emotional fear is not based on fact, is not objective. [00:20:26.398 – 00:20:35.998] We're afraid of something that is not endangering us, and there that is eliminated by ignoring it. [00:20:35.998 – 00:20:37.838] Ignoring it. [00:20:37.838 – 00:20:44.098] Emotional fear will retreat before neglect. [00:20:44.098 – 00:20:48.598] Emotional fear will retreat before neglect. [00:20:48.598 – 00:20:55.178] If we analyze it, take it apart, talk about it, it will remain and grow more and more. [00:20:55.178 – 00:20:56.418] If we neglect it-

[00:20:56.953 – 00:20:58.353] Ignore it, it will dissipate. [00:20:58.353 – 00:21:04.473] Then the next practice of objectivity is don't take yourselves so damn seriously. [00:21:04.473 – 00:21:07.113] Now, you have that in AA. [00:21:07.113 – 00:21:10.113] Many of the club rooms have that on their walls. [00:21:10.113 – 00:21:16.633] And that too is a very important technique of controlling emotional problems. [00:21:16.633 – 00:21:21.493] Why is the neurotic so mixed up with his emotional problems? [00:21:21.493 – 00:21:29.153] Because he thinks he is in the middle of his universe, and that everything that has happened affects him.

[00:21:29.153 – 00:21:33.273] Whereas actually, we're just one little speck. [00:21:33.273 – 00:21:37.753] We're not even a big speck in this world of millions and billions of people. [00:21:37.753 – 00:21:39.233] Think of the Chinese. [00:21:39.233 – 00:21:49.273] The communistic Chinese have one fourth of the world's population, 400 million people, and we think we're big [00:21:49.273 – 00:21:49.693] shots. [00:21:49.693 – 00:21:54.433] Again, the ability to see through things. [00:21:54.433 – 00:22:00.953] Now, recovery tells us the way to handle this is don't make a federal case out of everything.

[00:22:00.953 – 00:22:08.793] Look in your laws today of mankind, and there's not too many federal cases. [00:22:08.793 – 00:22:17.973] There's a lot of, uh, uh, state laws, city, municipal laws, but there's few federal cases that we come in contact with. [00:22:17.973 – 00:22:19.453] And that also is in life. [00:22:19.453 – 00:22:22.833] Don't make a federal case out of everything, and that's our trouble. [00:22:22.833 – 00:22:28.763] Something happens which objectively is a very small thing, but we make a big federal case out of it. [00:22:28.763 – 00:22:30.053] "Why didn't he shut up? [00:22:30.053 – 00:22:33.193] Why'd he call me that for?" And so forth and so on.

[00:22:33.193 – 00:22:33.713] Who's hurt? [00:22:33.713 – 00:22:34.873] I'm all disturbed. [00:22:34.873 – 00:22:36.053] I'm emotionally upset. [00:22:36.053 – 00:22:37.453] Maybe end up in a fight. [00:22:37.453 – 00:22:38.553] I might even end up in jail. [00:22:38.553 – 00:22:38.973] I don't know. [00:22:38.973 – 00:22:42.393] Don't make a federal case out of everything.

[00:22:42.393 – 00:22:52.893] Then the next one: anticipation is not harmful if it is calm and not fearful, [00:22:52.893 – 00:22:57.293] if it is expectant and not despondent. [00:22:57.293 – 00:23:01.513] Now, a lot of people say, "Well, isn't that getting away from the 24-hour program?" No. [00:23:01.513 – 00:23:05.533] The 24-hour program in AA says, "Yesterday is gone. [00:23:05.533 – 00:23:08.033] Tomorrow may never come. [00:23:08.033 – 00:23:18.172] I have only today to do something about myself." But this says you can also look forward to tomorrow, provided [00:23:18.173 – 00:23:26.193] it is with calm and not fear, if it is expectant and not despondent.

[00:23:26.193 – 00:23:28.033] There's a world of difference between the two. [00:23:28.033 – 00:23:38.503] You take the fellow or the gal who looks to tomorrow and she says, "Oh, I'll never be any good." "I'll never be well." "I'll [00:23:38.503 – 00:23:45.053] never get sober again." "I'll never be well emotionally, physically, or what have." Of course she won't. [00:23:45.053 – 00:23:45.773] She says so. [00:23:45.773 – 00:23:49.633] You know what recovery calls this? [00:23:49.633 – 00:23:59.793] Recovery says that is prognosis, and there's only one person in this world has any business to give a prognosis, and that's the doctor, the psychiatrist, or the clergyman, [00:23:59.793 – 00:24:00.633] not ourselves.

[00:24:00.633 – 00:24:05.433] If it's a moral problem, then the clergyman should give the prognosis. [00:24:05.433 – 00:24:09.613] If it's a physical problem, the doctor should give the prognosis. [00:24:09.613 – 00:24:15.673] If it's a mental, emotional problem, then the, uh, psychiatrist should give the prognosis. [00:24:15.673 – 00:24:20.773] If we give it, then we are committing what recovery calls sabotage. [00:24:20.773 – 00:24:30.393] That's what we're doing, taking away from the hands of these experts what is supposed to be theirs and not ours. [00:24:30.393 – 00:24:38.933] Then the next one is be tolerant towards our own mistakes, and this is so important. [00:24:38.933 – 00:24:47.953] So many people, even after they've sobered up and gotten well for a while, and then they blow their stack, and then they get mad because they got mad.

[00:24:47.953 – 00:24:56.813] You know, it's not such a bad thing in life to get mad, but you're in trouble when you get mad because you got mad. [00:24:56.813 – 00:25:02.373] Have the courage to make mistakes. [00:25:02.373 – 00:25:06.112] Why do you think they put ru- erasers on pencils for? [00:25:06.112 – 00:25:12.313] And to readily admit them. [00:25:12.313 – 00:25:14.153] "I made a mistake. [00:25:14.153 – 00:25:21.753] It's over with," instead of, uh, crying in my own tears of self-pity or criticizing myself. [00:25:21.753 – 00:25:30.233] Now, this is the most difficult job you're gonna have in life, to forgive yourself, to be tolerant towards your own mistakes.

[00:25:30.233 – 00:25:40.293] The most amazing thing to everyone in life as we grow older is to realize that after all these years, I'm not a whole lot better than I was 10, 20, 30 [00:25:40.293 – 00:25:40.813] years ago. [00:25:40.813 – 00:25:42.913] I still lose my temper. [00:25:42.913 – 00:25:43.753] I still get mad. [00:25:43.753 – 00:25:44.873] I still talk about people. [00:25:44.873 – 00:25:46.633] I still do the things I did 20 years ago. [00:25:46.633 – 00:25:51.593] But you're in trouble when you get disturbed about it too much.

[00:25:51.593 – 00:26:01.613] Keep on keeping on, day in, day out, but not worrying whether we fail or whether we succeed, because after all, God is not going to [00:26:01.613 – 00:26:02.173] worry about it. [00:26:02.173 – 00:26:05.653] You know, the human employer demands results. [00:26:05.653 – 00:26:07.933] God does not. [00:26:07.933 – 00:26:09.893] God only demands effort. [00:26:11.168 – 00:26:14.608] I've said this before, and it bears repeating time and time again. [00:26:14.608 – 00:26:22.888] When we come to judgment day, it's not gonna make any difference whether we won or lost, but how we played the game.

[00:26:22.888 – 00:26:24.188] That's so true. [00:26:24.188 – 00:26:31.228] God's not gonna ask us how long we were sober or how sober we were, but how much did I try? [00:26:31.228 – 00:26:41.488] And that's the reason you see some of these guys and gals in AA who have slips after slips after slips after slips, and so many other pietistic type individuals [00:26:41.488 – 00:26:42.908] that would like to kick them out, you know? [00:26:42.908 – 00:26:46.008] But they have goodwill. [00:26:46.008 – 00:26:49.968] And one of these days here or hereafter, they're gonna make it. [00:26:49.968 – 00:26:59.728] Then the next one is the realization that perfection is the rarest of virtues.

[00:26:59.728 – 00:27:04.808] There are not many people who are perfect in life. [00:27:04.808 – 00:27:06.188] Believe me. [00:27:06.188 – 00:27:13.288] And the few who are, we're not going to know until they're dead at least 25 years. [00:27:13.288 – 00:27:17.368] Because it takes that long for a person to be canonized. [00:27:17.368 – 00:27:27.808] Now, this demands [00:27:27.808 – 00:27:37.988] that we learn to practice, and again, practice means putting forth the effort, the actions of re- doing this day in and day out, the practice of averageness [00:27:37.988 – 00:27:41.568] and getting rid of exceptionality.

[00:27:41.568 – 00:27:46.848] In other words, all of us are average people. [00:27:46.848 – 00:27:49.468] Let's face it, this is an average audience. [00:27:49.468 – 00:27:51.988] There's nobody exceptional in here. [00:27:51.988 – 00:28:02.428] And we get in trouble when we think we're above the group or below the group, or we fight the group because then we're being exceptional, not [00:28:02.428 – 00:28:03.028] average. [00:28:03.028 – 00:28:11.488] And the strange thing is that he who thinks he is above, below, or against the group is exactly the one who is not. [00:28:11.488 – 00:28:19.567] He's usually very average, like the guy who jumped out of the basement window to commit suicide.

[00:28:19.567 – 00:28:27.968] Then the next technique is practice the will to bear discomfort. [00:28:27.968 – 00:28:34.088] The reason many of us are so jittery and nervous is because we cannot bear discomfort. [00:28:34.088 – 00:28:38.288] We're looking towards that plateau of no pain, you know? [00:28:38.288 – 00:28:41.808] That's the first push towards escapism. [00:28:41.808 – 00:28:43.828] Remember in the drinking days? [00:28:43.828 – 00:28:45.748] What do you think we were drinking? [00:28:45.748 – 00:28:48.008] We wanted to get the plateau of no pain.

[00:28:48.008 – 00:28:53.488] And the amazing thing is the more we sought it , the less we found it. [00:28:53.488 – 00:29:00.928] The more we tried to avoid suffering, the more suffering we found. [00:29:00.928 – 00:29:04.388] And that's one of the enigmas of life. [00:29:04.388 – 00:29:08.788] The more one tries to avoid suffering, the more one suffers. [00:29:08.788 – 00:29:17.228] Then the next one is all nervous symptoms are distressing, but they're not dangerous. [00:29:17.228 – 00:29:26.228] Therefore, if the doctors tell me, "Your trouble is nerves, emotions, functional," then no matter how I feel, it's not dangerous. [00:29:26.228 – 00:29:29.248] I'm not gonna die from it, so keep on keeping on.

[00:29:29.248 – 00:29:33.408] That goes also in the, uh, moral field. [00:29:33.408 – 00:29:42.148] If my spiritual advisor tells me that I'm not the worst sinner in the world and I'm not on the road to hell, then I must accept that. [00:29:42.148 – 00:29:48.508] And although I'm scrupulous in everything else, I have to keep on accepting somebody's word for it, being objective about it. [00:29:48.508 – 00:29:53.838] You know, nervous fatigue actually is a myth. [00:29:53.838 – 00:29:56.888] The nerves don't wear out. [00:29:56.888 – 00:29:59.868] They sure do distress us much, though, in life. [00:29:59.868 – 00:30:01.468] They never kill us.

[00:30:01.468 – 00:30:03.408] That's the strange thing. [00:30:03.408 – 00:30:05.688] But they sure can cause a lot of difficulty. [00:30:05.688 – 00:30:14.588] Now, in order to do this, we can practice rejecting tension-causing thinking, and this is very important. [00:30:14.588 – 00:30:22.048] And herein, recovery differs from AA insofar that it's more thorough in getting rid of resentments. [00:30:22.048 – 00:30:25.188] Because recovery says there's two kinds of resentments. [00:30:25.188 – 00:30:29.088] One, angry temper, the other person's wrong. [00:30:29.088 – 00:30:32.528] Another, fearful temper, I'm wrong.

[00:30:32.528 – 00:30:35.948] Both of those causes resentments. [00:30:35.948 – 00:30:45.998] The second way we reject tension-causing thinking is to realize that another way that we create tension is by [00:30:45.998 – 00:30:47.268] self-analysis. [00:30:47.268 – 00:30:53.428] I am worse than the doctor or the psychiatrist or the clergyman says I am. [00:30:53.428 – 00:31:03.788] Another, uh, source of tension-causing thinking is expecting danger, looking for danger [00:31:03.788 – 00:31:04.568] everywhere we go. [00:31:04.568 – 00:31:06.648] That wall might fall down there.

[00:31:06.648 – 00:31:07.528] You better watch out. [00:31:07.528 – 00:31:09.368] Could happen. [00:31:09.368 – 00:31:10.948] We better get out of here. [00:31:10.948 – 00:31:21.028] Then finally, the source of tension-causing thinking is looking for [00:31:21.028 – 00:31:24.888] exceptionality either in ourselves or others. [00:31:25.683 – 00:31:26.863] Now, how do we reject them? [00:31:26.863 – 00:31:32.343] We reject them by either denying them or relabeling them.

[00:31:32.343 – 00:31:42.663] Therefore, if I can't deny it, if it's bugging me too bad and I can't deny it, then I can relabel it by saying, "Well, it's distressing, but it's not dangerous," [00:31:42.663 – 00:31:44.303] so I go about my business. [00:31:44.303 – 00:31:48.503] Or I can say, "It's average, not exceptional," and I can go about my business. [00:31:48.503 – 00:31:58.923] So if I can't get rid of these five sources of tension, which I have just, uh, given you, and I'll repeat them: angry temper, [00:31:58.923 – 00:32:09.043] fearful temper, self-analysis, expecting danger, and looking for exceptionality in ourselves or others, I [00:32:09.043 – 00:32:15.363] can relabel them by telling myself they're distressing and not dangerous. [00:32:15.363 – 00:32:19.563] They are average, not exceptional.

[00:32:19.563 – 00:32:30.083] And then we might conclude by realizing once and for all that objectivity is reality, [00:32:30.083 – 00:32:40.223] and reality is objectivity, and the more I accept reality objectively, the less subjective reaction [00:32:40.223 – 00:32:50.223] I will have, the less friction, the less emotional tension, the less emotional difficulties, the less danger of difficulty in [00:32:50.223 – 00:32:52.423] the drinking field in AA. [00:32:52.423 – 00:32:58.283] Because friction, frustration, and all those things lead to that first drink. [00:32:58.283 – 00:33:08.943] The emotions, although they are not physical or mental or moral in themselves, the emotions [00:33:08.943 – 00:33:12.643] can destroy the spiritual life.

[00:33:12.643 – 00:33:16.303] They can stunt the physical growth. [00:33:16.303 – 00:33:26.803] They can make irrational the intellect of our mind, and they can prevent our return to sanity. [00:33:26.803 – 00:33:33.893] So once more, I repeat: reality is objectivity. [00:33:33.893 – 00:33:37.263] Objectivity is reality. [00:33:37.263 – 00:33:44.523] And the best way to do that, that's your job. [00:33:44.523 – 00:33:45.383] May God bless you. [00:33:45.383 – 00:34:00.343] Today,

[00:34:00.343 – 00:34:03.623] the world is filled with anxiety. [00:34:03.623 – 00:34:11.363] The world itself is in the throes of a universal anxiety neurosis. [00:34:11.363 – 00:34:22.303] Every civilized nation is desperately seeking peace, and every family [00:34:22.303 – 00:34:32.303] is searching frantically for security, and every human soul is seeking serenity and peace [00:34:32.303 – 00:34:34.683] of mind and peace of soul. [00:34:34.683 – 00:34:45.083] This fact is attested to very dramatically by the tremendous sale that two books of recent years [00:34:45.083 – 00:34:53.763] had, namely Joshua Liebman's Peace of Mind and Bishop Sheen's Peace of Soul.

[00:34:53.763 – 00:35:03.803] Now, when we speak of serenity in AA, contrary to popular belief, it is [00:35:03.803 – 00:35:05.283] not peace of mind. [00:35:05.283 – 00:35:08.903] It is not peace of soul. [00:35:08.903 – 00:35:12.163] It is not peace of heart. [00:35:12.163 – 00:35:19.363] It isn't even contentment, nor is it happiness in itself. [00:35:19.363 – 00:35:24.263] Serenity is something far beyond those states. [00:35:24.263 – 00:35:31.083] Because after all, peace of mind means an absence of mental conflict.

[00:35:31.083 – 00:35:37.783] Peace of soul means an absence of moral conflicts. [00:35:37.783 – 00:35:44.702] Peace of heart means an absence of emotional conflicts. [00:35:44.702 – 00:35:55.003] Happiness means to be glad to have what I have in life, and contentment means at least [00:35:55.003 – 00:35:57.563] satisfied with what I have. [00:35:57.563 – 00:36:08.243] Whereas serenity is the undisturbed higher faculties of the soul, [00:36:08.243 – 00:36:19.003] in spite of mental conflicts, in spite of moral conflicts, in spite of emotional conflicts, even in spite [00:36:19.003 – 00:36:23.183] of material unhappiness and discontentment.

[00:36:23.183 – 00:36:30.943] It is that peace that the Lord refers to which is beyond all understanding. [00:36:30.943 – 00:36:32.863] Serenity. [00:36:32.863 – 00:36:39.413] Now, every alcoholic, perhaps more so than the average person… [00:36:39.638 – 00:36:48.358] in life has spent much time and energy in a futile attempt to find this serenity. [00:36:48.358 – 00:36:55.577] Most alcoholics, at least on occasion, have desperately endeavored to find God. [00:36:55.577 – 00:37:05.698] Certainly all members of Alcoholics Anonymous, prior to finding AA, [00:37:05.698 – 00:37:12.538] have failed to find either peace of mind or peace of soul or God himself.

[00:37:12.538 – 00:37:22.738] Another goodly number of alcoholics have even failed to find peace of mind or God or [00:37:22.738 – 00:37:23.398] AA. [00:37:23.398 – 00:37:32.698] They have stumbled off the cliff of despair as a tragic ending to their confused thinking and living. [00:37:32.698 – 00:37:43.778] There's papers which were left by one such individual, who after constantly [00:37:43.778 – 00:37:51.978] seeking and never finding this sense of peace, he took the hard way out. [00:37:51.978 – 00:37:53.778] He committed suicide. [00:37:53.778 – 00:38:04.138] And in the papers that he left, he wrote, quote, "All alcoholics who are struggling to throw off the shackles

[00:38:04.138 – 00:38:08.358] of their weakness are subjects of my compassion. [00:38:08.358 – 00:38:19.378] I am an alcoholic, and I feel that no matter how degraded an alcoholic may be, there [00:38:19.378 – 00:38:29.378] abides somewhere deep within him a deathless urge to reach out beyond the sordidness [00:38:29.378 – 00:38:39.378] and the deceit and the folly and the ignorance and the sham of this world to grasp that elusive something [00:38:39.378 – 00:38:43.818] which spells kinship with the lovely in life. [00:38:43.818 – 00:38:54.358] And I believe," he goes on to say, "that once even one so much as brushes his fingers against [00:38:54.358 – 00:39:04.938] this greater understanding, he has attained that for which every soul seeks, maybe by varied and divergent

[00:39:04.938 – 00:39:08.658] channels, but nonetheless seeks. [00:39:08.658 – 00:39:19.078] It is a strange and miserable world in which the alcoholic lives, made so much more strange and miserable [00:39:19.078 – 00:39:25.278] by the fact that he lives in two hemispheres, the normal and the abnormal. [00:39:25.278 – 00:39:35.598] And there is never, nor can there ever be, real understanding on the part of the normal for the abnormal. [00:39:35.598 – 00:39:45.558] Of all human afflicted physically and mentally, the lot of the sensitive alcoholic is the hardest. [00:39:45.558 – 00:39:55.858] And just as the lot of the man struck blind is more agonizing because he could once see, so [00:39:55.858 – 00:40:02.478] is the alcoholic's lot the more difficult because he was once free.

[00:40:02.478 – 00:40:12.878] Few sufferers can lean upon the straw of conviction that they are expiating wrongdoing [00:40:12.878 – 00:40:22.918] through mental torture when they are unable to s- understand why they erred, when their acts were contrary to their [00:40:22.918 – 00:40:33.458] own innermost convictions." And then he goes on, "And so I go on trying, trying to understand, [00:40:33.458 – 00:40:36.818] to grasp Him who could help me. [00:40:36.818 – 00:40:41.528] It is a battle of a soul unsupported. [00:40:41.528 – 00:40:52.238] If I only could see again and get the peace I had in the dark of God, but [00:40:52.238 – 00:41:04.658] my heart in this darkness is a three-tongued flame of despair, self-condemnation, and terror." Unquote.

[00:41:04.658 – 00:41:14.718] How that echoes the words of the author of The Hound of Heaven, who wrote, "I fled him [00:41:14.718 – 00:41:25.658] down the nights and down the days, down the labyrinthine ways of my own mind I sped." How [00:41:25.658 – 00:41:35.698] many alcoholics, every alcoholic, has tried time and time again to find [00:41:35.698 – 00:41:43.548] that outlet which always seemed to end in a street without an ending? [00:41:43.548 – 00:41:47.838] Then finally we were fortunate. [00:41:47.838 – 00:41:51.778] We found Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:41:51.778 – 00:41:53.138] Remember?

[00:41:54.473 – 00:41:55.553] Remember when that happened? [00:41:55.553 – 00:42:04.713] The first time we read the AA book, and then we came to chapter five on how it works. [00:42:04.713 – 00:42:14.073] And there we read, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who thoroughly follows our path. [00:42:14.073 – 00:42:24.333] Some of us tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." [00:42:24.333 – 00:42:34.193] And then we read the 12 steps, and we reread the 12 steps, and then came our first prospect. [00:42:34.193 – 00:42:37.713] We didn't pull punches in those days, remember? [00:42:37.713 – 00:42:46.893] We didn't try to excuse the God angle or try to apologize for the spiritual side.

[00:42:46.893 – 00:42:52.753] We lived AA as AA was written in the AA book. [00:42:52.753 – 00:43:02.293] And in that AA book, believe it or not, it tells us, quote, "Tell them exactly what happened to you. [00:43:02.293 – 00:43:06.073] Stress the spiritual freely. [00:43:06.073 – 00:43:16.753] If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception [00:43:16.753 – 00:43:17.533] of God. [00:43:17.533 – 00:43:24.653] He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. [00:43:24.653 – 00:43:34.693] The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a power greater than himself, and that he

[00:43:34.693 – 00:43:40.393] be willing to live by spiritual principles," unquote. [00:43:40.393 – 00:43:45.273] That's in the AA book. [00:43:45.273 – 00:43:55.073] And so we lived a spiritual life, and then something happened. [00:43:55.073 – 00:44:05.133] Somewhere along the months or years, either from the first step Johns and Jills, or the dry drunks, or the no-God guys and [00:44:05.133 – 00:44:07.233] gals, we began to doubt. [00:44:07.233 – 00:44:11.793] And we started to question ourselves. [00:44:11.793 – 00:44:23.733] And we thought, "Well, maybe, maybe an old-timer like me don't need that no more." And

[00:44:23.733 – 00:44:32.413] then we began to become unhappy, and we got jittery again, and we got restless and sleepless. [00:44:32.413 – 00:44:36.853] And then we began that endless question, why? [00:44:36.853 – 00:44:42.253] And it's the most asked question that I find in all of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:44:42.253 – 00:44:48.753] I have men and women come to me time after time again, say, "Look, Father, what's the matter with me? [00:44:48.753 – 00:44:56.773] I've been in AA six months, a year, two years, five years, 10 years, 15 years, but something's wrong. [00:44:56.773 – 00:44:57.693] Something's missing. [00:44:57.693 – 00:44:59.973] I used to be happy.

[00:44:59.973 – 00:45:02.833] I had a little serenity, but I ain't got it no more. [00:45:02.833 – 00:45:09.993] What's the matter?" Well, I can only give you m- what, in my opinion, is the matter. [00:45:09.993 – 00:45:20.113] And that opinion tells me that those who are no longer happy in AA, who have no longer [00:45:20.113 – 00:45:31.213] serenity in their life or living, never have fully, or if they ever fully did, they took it back, taking [00:45:31.213 – 00:45:34.473] the third step of the AA program. [00:45:34.473 – 00:45:45.073] And that third step tells us we made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God [00:45:45.073 – 00:45:46.653] as we understood Him.

[00:45:46.653 – 00:45:52.993] Now, there's two happenings in history that might help us to understand this factor. [00:45:52.993 – 00:46:00.333] The first has to do with Peter, the lovable old Peter, a fisherman. [00:46:00.333 – 00:46:05.253] No education, but with the utmost of sincerity. [00:46:05.253 – 00:46:07.653] You remember the story? [00:46:07.653 – 00:46:11.353] He was out fishing all night, and he caught nothing. [00:46:11.353 – 00:46:15.473] You can imagine what he was thinking when he came back to the shore. [00:46:15.473 – 00:46:25.533] He was talking to himself probably, or to the others, and said, "Ha, all night long and not even a bite." I don't know what else he

[00:46:25.533 – 00:46:27.053] said, but he, but he said more than that. [00:46:27.053 – 00:46:35.953] And then as they neared the shore, they suddenly saw there on the shore the Lord. [00:46:35.953 – 00:46:39.373] And Peter, it says, was naked. [00:46:39.373 – 00:46:43.113] I guess that's the way they fished in those days, I don't know. [00:46:43.113 – 00:46:54.053] And in order to cover himself up, he threw a cloth or a shawl or something around himself. [00:46:54.053 – 00:46:55.593] And the Lord says, "Hello, Peter. [00:46:55.593 – 00:47:06.093] What you been doing?" Peter said, "We've been fishing, and we haven't caught anything." I can just imagine the emphasis

[00:47:06.093 – 00:47:06.593] on that. [00:47:08.274 – 00:47:09.854] Did the Lord commiserate with him? [00:47:09.854 – 00:47:12.414] Did the Lord say, "Oh, you poor guy. [00:47:12.414 – 00:47:15.394] Ain't that awful?" No. [00:47:15.394 – 00:47:24.934] The Lord says, "Go out into the deep and let down your net." Now, can't you imagine what Peter thought inside? [00:47:24.934 – 00:47:35.214] "Ha, I tell him we s- fished all night" "And we caught nothing." "Absolutely nothing, and he tells me go out into the deep again." [00:47:35.214 – 00:47:46.034] But with his sincerity and humility, he probably followed up immediately inside, "But it's the Lord, he said so, I'll do it." And

[00:47:46.034 – 00:47:49.894] he went out, and they let down the net, and you know what happened. [00:47:49.894 – 00:47:53.234] They caught so many fish, uh, that the nets broke. [00:47:53.234 – 00:48:00.514] And Peter was happy, and the rest of them were happy. [00:48:00.514 – 00:48:01.854] Because he caught so many fish? [00:48:01.854 – 00:48:02.334] No. [00:48:02.334 – 00:48:10.754] Because God's will had been accomplished through his willingness to let go and let God. [00:48:10.754 – 00:48:16.914] The same thing happened in the case of the little Jewish girl named Mary.

[00:48:16.914 – 00:48:17.994] Remember? [00:48:17.994 – 00:48:21.514] When she was told she was to become the mother of Christ. [00:48:21.514 – 00:48:24.754] What did she do? [00:48:24.754 – 00:48:28.294] Did she say, "Oh, no, why, I'm not worthy to do that. [00:48:28.294 – 00:48:30.874] No, you must have the wrong person"? [00:48:30.874 – 00:48:35.314] No, in her humility and her honesty, well, is it God's will? [00:48:35.314 – 00:48:36.314] It's God's will.

[00:48:36.314 – 00:48:37.714] It was all that was necessary. [00:48:37.714 – 00:48:41.434] She said, "Be it done unto me according to thy word. [00:48:41.434 – 00:48:45.634] Behold, the handmaid of the Lord." And Mary was happy. [00:48:45.634 – 00:48:48.304] Because she was to become the mother of Christ? [00:48:48.304 – 00:48:54.074] Not in particular, but because the will of God was being accomplished through her. [00:48:54.074 – 00:48:59.034] She had let go and she had let God. [00:48:59.034 – 00:49:07.354] Now, you know the program of AA is not so much a program to build up character.

[00:49:07.354 – 00:49:08.774] That's ridiculous. [00:49:08.774 – 00:49:19.854] The program is one to destroy our past character, to clean out the wreckage of [00:49:19.854 – 00:49:29.934] what our so-called character of the past did, and that is brought about by repeated surrender, by [00:49:29.934 – 00:49:36.914] repeated giving in, so then God can rebuild a new character. [00:49:36.914 – 00:49:43.134] So we don't have to sit back and figure out how are we going to rebuild our character. [00:49:43.134 – 00:49:49.314] All we have to do is to give in and let God build according as he wills it. [00:49:49.314 – 00:49:52.694] Let go and let God.

[00:49:52.694 – 00:49:58.514] That's the reason that sobriety is not the result of strength of will. [00:49:58.514 – 00:50:06.114] Sobriety is the result of the weakening and the giving in of a rebellious will. [00:50:06.114 – 00:50:11.434] Let's face it, it doesn't take strength of will. [00:50:11.434 – 00:50:23.274] Let go and let God, and when we do, we perhaps will understand for the first time in our lives what [00:50:23.274 – 00:50:32.314] that term which was used so frequently during the Second World War really means: unconditional surrender. [00:50:32.314 – 00:50:42.474] Let go of all our preconceived ideas and learn what God [00:50:42.474 – 00:50:43.354] will teach.

[00:50:43.354 – 00:50:53.523] You know, we often hear in AA a speaker say, "Well, now, I've been dry, been sober, seven years, six years, eight years, but I had nothing [00:50:53.523 – 00:50:54.074] to do with it. [00:50:54.074 – 00:50:58.234] God did it all." Well, you know, I used to think that was a lot of claptrap. [00:50:58.234 – 00:51:01.474] A lot of pietistic music. [00:51:01.474 – 00:51:04.974] But I, I, I've changed my mind quite a bit. [00:51:04.974 – 00:51:15.054] And I think the, uh, older we get in AA, the more me- we mature, the more we see and hear, and the more we look inside, [00:51:15.054 – 00:51:17.794] the more we realize, I had nothing to do with it.

[00:51:17.794 – 00:51:20.034] God did it all. [00:51:20.034 – 00:51:22.754] I'm not kidding myself. [00:51:22.754 – 00:51:25.234] I know why I'm sober tonight. [00:51:25.234 – 00:51:27.974] I know why I'm here tonight. [00:51:27.974 – 00:51:30.614] God did it all. [00:51:30.614 – 00:51:36.314] Matt Talbot made that remark, you know, in one of his notes that he left. [00:51:36.314 – 00:51:40.854] Matt Talbot, by the way, was, a, an alcoholic, uh, in, uh, Dublin, Ireland.

[00:51:40.854 – 00:51:50.914] He died about 1925 after being, uh, sober, uh, for about 40 years, and not only sober, but living a very saintly life, and he [00:51:50.914 – 00:51:53.654] is, as we say in our church, up for canonization. [00:51:53.654 – 00:51:57.574] And if and when he's canonized, we're gonna have one up there, that's for sure. [00:51:57.574 – 00:52:09.394] But [00:52:09.394 – 00:52:14.694] in some notes that he left, he made the statement, "I had nothing to do with it. [00:52:14.694 – 00:52:22.124] God did it all." Christopher Columbus made the same remark when he wrote- [00:52:22.249 – 00:52:26.069] Letter to Ferdinand and Isabella after he had discovered America.

[00:52:26.069 – 00:52:30.168] You know, there are some who say that Christopher Columbus was an alcoholic. [00:52:30.168 – 00:52:37.789] Well, I don't know whether he was or not, but the reason is that they say when he left Spain, he didn't know where he was going. [00:52:37.789 – 00:52:43.308] When he got to America, he didn't know where he was. [00:52:43.308 – 00:52:47.669] And a woman financed the whole deal. [00:52:47.669 – 00:53:04.589] Christopher [00:53:04.589 – 00:53:14.649] Columbus wrote to Ferdinand and Isabella the following, quote, "But these great and marvelous results are not to be attributed to any [00:53:14.649 – 00:53:18.969] merit of mine, but to the holy faith in God.

[00:53:18.969 – 00:53:29.069] For that which the unaided intellect of man could not encompass, the spirit of God has [00:53:29.069 – 00:53:31.709] freely granted," unquote. [00:53:31.709 – 00:53:34.649] So all we need is willingness. [00:53:34.649 – 00:53:37.509] Not willpower, want power. [00:53:37.509 – 00:53:38.889] Willingness. [00:53:38.889 – 00:53:44.669] God will accomplish if we let go and let God. [00:53:44.669 – 00:53:48.029] That's all we have to do.

[00:53:48.029 – 00:53:51.809] Now, let's see how this works, first in the 12 steps. [00:53:51.809 – 00:53:58.329] On the first step, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol. [00:53:58.329 – 00:54:01.229] Is that a full admission? [00:54:01.229 – 00:54:04.009] Have we let go of all those reservations? [00:54:04.009 – 00:54:06.449] Or do we have a few left? [00:54:06.449 – 00:54:16.789] Or do we have a few that tells us once in a while, "Well, maybe someday, uh, maybe I will." "Maybe [00:54:16.789 – 00:54:28.249] I can, and I do." "Or maybe a couple beers might not be so bad." Did

[00:54:28.249 – 00:54:34.209] we admit that our lives were unmanageable, or have we pushed God out of the driver's seat again? [00:54:34.209 – 00:54:35.569] Hmm? [00:54:35.569 – 00:54:38.449] If we have, it won't work. [00:54:38.449 – 00:54:41.429] We won't have serenity. [00:54:41.429 – 00:54:51.569] The second step tells us we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. [00:54:51.569 – 00:54:54.269] Came to believe. [00:54:54.269 – 00:54:56.669] Now, we have three types who come to AA.

[00:54:56.669 – 00:54:59.669] First, the atheist or agnostic. [00:54:59.669 – 00:55:08.489] He's the guy or gal who, well, he either doesn't believe in God, or if he does, he doesn't know too much about it. [00:55:08.489 – 00:55:10.909] Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. [00:55:10.909 – 00:55:16.169] To those people I say, all they need is honesty. [00:55:16.169 – 00:55:19.129] Let go of their preconceived ideas. [00:55:19.129 – 00:55:20.689] God will do the rest. [00:55:20.689 – 00:55:25.629] The second type that come to AA are the confused believers.

[00:55:25.629 – 00:55:29.869] They are the bulk of AAs. [00:55:29.869 – 00:55:39.869] Most people who come to AA believe in God, in a sense, but they don't [00:55:39.869 – 00:55:41.509] know much how or why. [00:55:41.509 – 00:55:45.849] And what they did have once, they don't know much about no more. [00:55:45.849 – 00:55:52.449] All they need is honest keep on keeping on. [00:55:52.449 – 00:55:53.589] Let go. [00:55:53.589 – 00:55:55.829] Let God clear up their faith.

[00:55:55.829 – 00:55:59.369] Don't ask every Nimtinpoop you meet. [00:55:59.369 – 00:56:03.329] He's probably more confused than you. [00:56:03.329 – 00:56:10.769] Let go. [00:56:10.769 – 00:56:15.289] Let God give you clarity of faith. [00:56:15.289 – 00:56:15.989] He will. [00:56:15.989 – 00:56:21.209] The third class are the frustrated church members. [00:56:21.209 – 00:56:25.989] Quite a few of those in AA.

[00:56:25.989 – 00:56:36.069] They are the ones who tried their church, so they thought, and they felt their church let them down. [00:56:36.069 – 00:56:40.469] Again, all they have to do is let go. [00:56:40.469 – 00:56:43.088] Just go along day in and day out. [00:56:43.088 – 00:56:44.268] Don't rush it. [00:56:44.268 – 00:56:45.089] Don't push it. [00:56:45.089 – 00:56:47.029] Don't search it. [00:56:47.029 – 00:56:49.169] Be willing.

[00:56:49.169 – 00:56:55.229] Let go, and God will again clarify Himself to them. [00:56:55.229 – 00:57:05.569] And then comes the next step, which to me is the most important step of all the AA 12 steps. [00:57:05.569 – 00:57:15.849] From it flows, if taken 100%, the serenity and all the rest that goes with it [00:57:15.909 – 00:57:17.789] that anyone has in AA today. [00:57:17.789 – 00:57:21.509] And to me, this is the crux of the program. [00:57:21.509 – 00:57:32.969] And all we need, all we need in taking the third step is absolute confidence, childlikeness, [00:57:32.969 – 00:57:36.359] acceptance, acceptance

[00:57:36.883 – 00:57:37.723] Acceptance. [00:57:37.723 – 00:57:39.183] Have you ever tried it? [00:57:39.183 – 00:57:40.923] Let's try it. [00:57:40.923 – 00:57:50.983] O God, we believe so firmly that you watch over all who hope [00:57:50.983 – 00:58:01.003] in thee, and that we can want for nothing when we fully rely on you for all things, that we are [00:58:01.003 – 00:58:09.863] resolved no longer to have any anxieties and to cast all of our cares on you. [00:58:09.863 – 00:58:19.943] In peace and in the selfsame, I shall sleep and take my rest, for thou, O Lord,

[00:58:19.943 – 00:58:21.903] hast settled me in hope. [00:58:21.903 – 00:58:25.723] We may lose all our material things. [00:58:25.723 – 00:58:30.563] Sickness may take from us our strength to do your work. [00:58:30.563 – 00:58:34.403] We may even lose thy grace by sin. [00:58:34.403 – 00:58:43.883] But our trust shall never leave us, and we shall preserve that to the last second of our lives. [00:58:43.883 – 00:58:49.023] No power shall ever wrest that from us. [00:58:49.023 – 00:58:55.763] In peace and in the selfsame, we shall sleep and take our rest.

[00:58:55.763 – 00:59:02.763] Let others seek peace and happiness in their talents and in their money. [00:59:02.763 – 00:59:12.823] Let them trust in the purity of their lives, the severity of their sacrifices, the number of their good works, [00:59:12.823 – 00:59:23.273] the many whom they've sponsored, the years of their sobriety, the calls they may have made, the talks they may have given, the [00:59:23.273 – 00:59:25.663] number whom they have actually helped. [00:59:25.663 – 00:59:35.753] Yes, even their own renewed strength, or even the fervor and [00:59:35.753 – 00:59:37.323] the number of their prayers. [00:59:37.323 – 00:59:47.382] But for us, O God, in our confidence itself lies all our hope and all our trust, for

[00:59:47.382 – 00:59:51.392] thou, O Lord, hast settled us in thy hope. [00:59:51.392 – 00:59:59.343] And therefore, in peace and in the selfsame, we shall sleep and take our rest. [00:59:59.343 – 01:00:09.423] We know, alas, we know too well that we are weak and changeable and powerless, [01:00:09.423 – 01:00:14.762] that we are only humans, that our lives, all of it, is unmanageable. [01:00:14.762 – 01:00:21.623] We also know the power of temptation against the strongest of virtues. [01:00:21.623 – 01:00:27.903] We have seen the strong fall and the pillars of strength totter. [01:00:27.903 – 01:00:37.923] But these things alarm us not, for it is precisely because we are so absolutely powerless

[01:00:37.923 – 01:00:44.723] that we therefore become so strong and so sure in you. [01:00:44.723 – 01:00:55.063] And this trust shall endure until the last breath of our lives, because you, O Lord, will sustain [01:00:55.063 – 01:00:56.103] it in us. [01:00:56.103 – 01:01:02.983] Finally, we know that our confidence in you cannot exceed your bounty. [01:01:02.983 – 01:01:13.043] Therefore, we shall always expect from your goodness alone, and because of no merit of ours, strength in every [01:01:13.043 – 01:01:23.343] struggle, grace in every temptation, victory in spite of and because of weakness, and peace [01:01:23.343 – 01:01:32.143] of soul, mind, and heart, and true serenity in spite of every possible disturbance.

[01:01:32.143 – 01:01:34.963] And there you have it. [01:01:34.963 – 01:01:38.083] And all we have to do now is to be on our way. [01:01:38.083 – 01:01:46.483] And whatever happens, whatever we meet within or without, from others or from ourselves, just let it go. [01:01:46.483 – 01:01:49.383] God is our sufficiency. [01:01:49.383 – 01:01:55.683] Or as Teresa wrote, "Let nothing disturb thee, nothing affright thee. [01:01:55.683 – 01:01:57.723] All things are passing. [01:01:57.723 – 01:01:59.723] God never changeth.

[01:01:59.723 – 01:02:04.743] Patient acceptance attaineth to all things. [01:02:04.743 – 01:02:09.383] Whom God possesseth, in nothing is wanting. [01:02:09.383 – 01:02:19.563] Alone God sufficeth." Our job, just the footwork, acceptance, acceptance, [01:02:19.563 – 01:02:20.363] acceptance. [01:02:20.363 – 01:02:21.763] It works. [01:02:21.763 – 01:02:24.343] It really does. [01:02:24.343 – 01:02:32.183] The fourth step, we made a fearless and searching inventory of ourselves.

[01:02:32.183 – 01:02:39.783] In other words, we made a searching inventory in order to let the light of God's grace in. [01:02:39.783 – 01:02:43.403] We wanted to know ourselves as God knows us. [01:02:43.403 – 01:02:49.743] Fearless because we have heard God tell us, "Fear not." [01:02:51.238 – 01:02:53.658] If God be with us, who can be against us? [01:02:53.658 – 01:02:59.718] Even if we shall walk in the valley of death, we shall not fear because God is with us. [01:02:59.718 – 01:03:04.538] And even though thou slay us, yet will we trust you. [01:03:04.538 – 01:03:07.578] Fearless and searching.

[01:03:07.578 – 01:03:14.558] The fifth step, admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being. [01:03:14.558 – 01:03:18.838] And how, how many begin again to be afraid? [01:03:18.838 – 01:03:19.998] Afraid of what? [01:03:19.998 – 01:03:21.978] Afraid of what God will think? [01:03:21.978 – 01:03:23.398] He knows it better than you do. [01:03:23.398 – 01:03:27.957] And He knows the stench of the past. [01:03:27.957 – 01:03:31.418] Afraid of what others might think?

[01:03:31.418 – 01:03:33.178] What difference does that make? [01:03:33.178 – 01:03:37.028] They are probably worse than we are- … [01:03:37.028 – 01:03:38.018] if they were honest. [01:03:38.018 – 01:03:44.058] Afraid of what we might have to change, that's the rub. [01:03:44.058 – 01:03:47.578] That's the rub. [01:03:47.578 – 01:03:50.168] And yet whom are we kidding? [01:03:50.168 – 01:03:54.618] It hasn't been too long ago when any change would have been for the better.

[01:03:54.618 – 01:03:57.338] Remember? [01:03:57.338 – 01:04:06.418] The sixth step, we're entirely ready to have God remove these shortcomings. [01:04:06.418 – 01:04:09.238] In other words, we're willing, we're ready. [01:04:09.238 – 01:04:17.838] Let go all of them, of the resentments, of the fears, the self-pity, the dishonesties, the sinful relationships. [01:04:17.838 – 01:04:22.238] Let God in His way take over. [01:04:22.238 – 01:04:32.218] As the poet tells us, "Thus have I formed thee with my shaking hand, lest I should be the greater sculptor. [01:04:32.218 – 01:04:36.538] Form me, O God, even though filled with faults.

[01:04:36.538 – 01:04:40.698] According to thy image, make me truly free. [01:04:40.698 – 01:04:44.118] The first of men thou madest of clay. [01:04:44.118 – 01:04:48.018] Of hardened clay, alas, am I. [01:04:48.018 – 01:04:51.157] But thou will have to use a hammer. [01:04:51.157 – 01:04:59.118] Strike, O sculptor God, for I am but the stone." Let it go. [01:04:59.118 – 01:05:00.338] What gives the pain? [01:05:00.338 – 01:05:02.618] It's our kicking against the will of God.

[01:05:02.618 – 01:05:07.338] Take the example of the child in its mother's arms. [01:05:07.338 – 01:05:12.978] As long as it lies there quietly, even goes to sleep, nothing's gonna harm it. [01:05:12.978 – 01:05:18.278] But it starts yelling trying to get away, gonna get hurt. [01:05:18.278 – 01:05:24.698] Discontentment is kicking against the will of God. [01:05:24.698 – 01:05:31.238] The seventh step, humbly ask Him to remove these shortcomings. [01:05:31.238 – 01:05:37.738] Ask Him with faith, but not afraid to give them up. [01:05:37.738 – 01:05:41.778] You know, there's some of us don't like to give up our shortcomings.

[01:05:41.778 – 01:05:44.498] We want to hang on to them. [01:05:44.498 – 01:05:50.258] We're afraid that God will, uh, take them away, we won't have anything else. [01:05:50.258 – 01:05:55.598] So in the sixth step we were ready. [01:05:55.598 – 01:05:58.298] Now we ask Him to go ahead. [01:05:58.298 – 01:06:01.598] "Okay, God, I'll fit in. [01:06:01.598 – 01:06:05.638] Do with me what you want, I'll fit in, day in and day out. [01:06:05.638 – 01:06:11.498] In the beginning of the day as the sun rises, and at the end of the day as the sun sets.

[01:06:11.498 – 01:06:17.218] Whatever God sends, I'll fit in." Let go, let God. [01:06:17.218 – 01:06:23.658] The eighth step, made a list of all the persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. [01:06:23.658 – 01:06:29.138] And here we let go of all the false notions of those who were harming us. [01:06:29.138 – 01:06:29.838] Remember? [01:06:29.838 – 01:06:33.378] That's what that list is for. [01:06:33.378 – 01:06:36.258] It's gonna replace that list we had before. [01:06:36.258 – 01:06:39.578] Everybody was against us, you know.

[01:06:39.578 – 01:06:43.458] We were the most abused people in the world. [01:06:43.458 – 01:06:45.798] Poor souls. [01:06:45.798 – 01:06:49.538] Now we make a list of the people we had harmed. [01:06:49.538 – 01:07:00.098] Again, we let go of these dishonesties and we let God fill our hearts again with an honest appraisal of ourselves [01:07:00.098 – 01:07:01.058] as He sees us. [01:07:01.058 – 01:07:05.098] The ninth step, made direct amends to such people. [01:07:05.098 – 01:07:08.618] Now, that takes a lot of humility to do that, you know.

[01:07:08.618 – 01:07:11.798] But we let go of our pride in doing that. [01:07:11.798 – 01:07:19.198] And Lord knows the alcoholic needs humility more than any other human being in the world. [01:07:19.198 – 01:07:26.898] We let go of the fear when we approach others and make amends, because we need courage. [01:07:26.898 – 01:07:33.938] We let go of deception because we need honesty, and we let God handle the results. [01:07:33.938 – 01:07:42.158] The 10th step, continue to take personal inventory, and when wrong, promptly admitted it. [01:07:42.158 – 01:07:46.638] And here we let go of all our former excuses. [01:07:46.638 – 01:07:48.238] Remember those excuses?

[01:07:48.238 – 01:07:50.318] We had them by the carload. [01:07:50.318 – 01:07:53.598] And when we ran out, we manufactured some more. [01:07:53.598 – 01:08:03.058] And here again, we face God, we face ourselves before God as He sees us. [01:08:03.058 – 01:08:04.748] No longer excuses- [01:08:06.133 – 01:08:08.433] Because we need honesty so badly. [01:08:08.433 – 01:08:18.733] The 11th step: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying [01:08:18.733 – 01:08:22.973] only for knowledge of His will and the power to carry it out.

[01:08:22.973 – 01:08:31.833] And here we let go of all our cares and our work-a-day world and relax in the presence of God. [01:08:31.833 – 01:08:42.073] The 11th step, to me, is the most important fuel for serenity of the entire AA [01:08:42.073 – 01:08:42.673] program. [01:08:42.673 – 01:08:46.513] Relax in the presence of God. [01:08:46.513 – 01:08:47.793] Let it go. [01:08:47.793 – 01:08:49.352] Let it go. [01:08:49.352 – 01:08:59.453] 12th step: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to

[01:08:59.453 – 01:09:04.633] alcoholics and to practice these principles in all of our affairs. [01:09:04.633 – 01:09:08.913] And here we let go of all our former attitudes. [01:09:08.913 – 01:09:10.513] May they rest in peace. [01:09:10.513 – 01:09:20.583] For now we have a new attitude, an attitude of the spirit, [01:09:20.583 – 01:09:22.613] a spiritual awakening. [01:09:22.613 – 01:09:25.953] We see things in new light. [01:09:25.953 – 01:09:29.393] We even recognize things we never saw before.

[01:09:29.393 – 01:09:32.533] Some things we passed every day. [01:09:32.533 – 01:09:36.893] Beautiful things in life we never saw before. [01:09:36.893 – 01:09:43.593] And carrying the message, and hear so many say, "Well, what am I gonna tell them?" It's simple. [01:09:43.593 – 01:09:46.013] Tell them what happened to you. [01:09:46.013 – 01:09:48.733] That's what the Big AA book tells us. [01:09:48.733 – 01:09:49.493] That's all. [01:09:49.493 – 01:09:56.213] Not what they have to do, not that what they oughta do, not what's gonna happen if they don't do.

[01:09:56.213 – 01:09:58.693] Tell them what happened to you. [01:09:58.693 – 01:10:01.533] This is what happened to me. [01:10:01.533 – 01:10:11.653] And thus we let go of all the old time ideas of using the heavy stick to make the [01:10:11.653 – 01:10:13.592] alcoholic sober up. [01:10:13.592 – 01:10:16.113] It don't work. [01:10:16.113 – 01:10:21.453] And then practice these principles in all of our affairs. [01:10:21.453 – 01:10:23.613] Now, here we might hesitate.

[01:10:23.613 – 01:10:28.863] We might think, "Well, now if I do these things people are gonna call me a pious puss and-" "… [01:10:28.863 – 01:10:31.173] a Bible thumper." Let them go. [01:10:31.173 – 01:10:32.933] Let them go. [01:10:32.933 – 01:10:42.973] Let God come into our lives, not only our spiritual living, but in our entire area [01:10:42.973 – 01:10:53.003] of life, in our work, in our play, in our relaxation, in our homes, in our business, with our friends, in our groups, in our AA, in [01:10:53.003 – 01:10:53.853] everything. [01:10:53.853 – 01:10:54.942] Why not?

[01:10:54.942 – 01:11:06.133] God is a practical person, and the strange thing is, and this I always use, uh, [01:11:06.133 – 01:11:11.493] to answer those who, w- might say, "Ha, this spiritual stuff, I'm practical. [01:11:11.493 – 01:11:20.293] I don't believe in it," what they don't realize is that the most spiritual people are the most practical people. [01:11:20.293 – 01:11:22.553] Just try it. [01:11:22.553 – 01:11:24.113] It works. [01:11:24.113 – 01:11:25.613] It really does. [01:11:25.613 – 01:11:33.893] Now, let's take just a couple or so of our problems in life and see how this works.

[01:11:33.893 – 01:11:36.053] First, resentments. [01:11:36.053 – 01:11:38.033] Let them go. [01:11:38.033 – 01:11:43.393] No matter what happens to irritate us, let it go. [01:11:43.393 – 01:11:53.473] God can do a better job than I can of anything that might irritate me, and if there's vindication to be done, remember what it says, [01:11:53.473 – 01:11:54.693] "I am the Lord. [01:11:54.693 – 01:11:57.133] I shall have vengeance. [01:11:57.133 – 01:12:01.633] Revenge is mine," and that word mine don't mean me, that means God.

[01:12:01.633 – 01:12:05.333] So let them go. [01:12:05.333 – 01:12:07.453] Let them go. [01:12:07.453 – 01:12:08.533] They talk about you? [01:12:08.533 – 01:12:09.233] Let them go. [01:12:09.233 – 01:12:13.373] After all, all you have to do in AA is do something, you'll get talked about. [01:12:13.373 – 01:12:20.852] Let it go. [01:12:20.852 – 01:12:23.113] Somebody calls you an SOB.

[01:12:23.113 – 01:12:24.253] You either are or you aren't. [01:12:24.253 – 01:12:28.253] Let it go. [01:12:28.253 – 01:12:31.033] If you are, listen, so what? [01:12:31.033 – 01:12:36.992] And if you aren't, there's no use becoming one by getting mad about it. [01:12:36.992 – 01:12:45.793] Let it go. [01:12:45.793 – 01:12:48.693] Then a neurosis, which we hear so much about, you know. [01:12:48.693 – 01:12:54.973] That's quite a mute question, whether every alcoholic's a neurotic or not.

[01:12:54.973 – 01:12:55.833] You answer it. [01:12:55.833 – 01:12:56.733] I'm not gonna try. [01:12:56.733 – 01:13:00.813] But you know what a neurosis is? [01:13:00.813 – 01:13:08.273] A neurosis is usually a person who has never made up their mind who's gonna be the boss, God or them. [01:13:08.273 – 01:13:17.773] Body or soul, and so there's conflict, there's tension, and then there's a neurosis. [01:13:19.508 – 01:13:20.488] Then avarice. [01:13:20.488 – 01:13:26.248] You know, it's amazing how tight alcoholics become after they sober up.

[01:13:26.248 – 01:13:33.608] Let go of those bucks. [01:13:33.608 – 01:13:37.768] Give away some of that loot. [01:13:37.768 – 01:13:44.128] Of course, I know some will say, "Well, I worked for what I got." Well, you did. [01:13:44.128 – 01:13:51.307] Who gave you the power, and the ability, and the position in life, and the circumstances that enabled you to do that? [01:13:51.307 – 01:13:51.608] Hmm? [01:13:51.608 – 01:13:53.668] Don't you think that might've been God? [01:13:53.668 – 01:13:55.528] Better give a little back.

[01:13:55.528 – 01:14:00.028] Might lose it all if we don't on one grand and glorious binge. [01:14:00.028 – 01:14:03.308] It has happened. [01:14:03.308 – 01:14:08.068] And that's the enigma of AA, how tight people become when they come into AA. [01:14:08.068 – 01:14:15.088] You know, the poor chairman or the secretary of the group asks for a little extra help, and everybody yells to high heaven. [01:14:15.088 – 01:14:20.078] And then they bring out that old time-worn excuse, "No dues, no fees. [01:14:20.078 – 01:14:25.488] What the heck?" And when they reach in their pocket for that two bits, you can hear their elbows creak. [01:14:25.488 – 01:14:35.208] Let it go.

[01:14:35.208 – 01:14:39.488] Then let God give us security. [01:14:39.488 – 01:14:43.718] After all, what, what does money mean in the matter of security? [01:14:43.718 – 01:14:45.288] I could lose it all tomorrow. [01:14:45.288 – 01:14:48.228] Hmm? [01:14:48.228 – 01:14:52.528] But God will never let me down. [01:14:52.528 – 01:14:54.368] Let go. [01:14:54.368 – 01:14:55.828] Let God.

[01:14:55.828 – 01:14:57.808] And then humility. [01:14:57.808 – 01:15:01.028] Let God make us humble. [01:15:01.028 – 01:15:04.748] You know the difference between humiliation and humility? [01:15:04.748 – 01:15:09.368] Humiliation is being humbled against my will. [01:15:09.368 – 01:15:10.508] Mm. [01:15:10.508 – 01:15:18.088] If I willingly accept it, then I am humbled, and I will become humble. [01:15:18.088 – 01:15:28.128] And so, in closing, when the reality comes, which it will for all of us sooner or later,

[01:15:28.128 – 01:15:38.788] and soon at the latest, and as we are bidding our last farewell to this land of sorrows, then that prayer [01:15:38.788 – 01:15:46.568] that has fallen from our lips tens of thousands of times in AA, I feel shall surely be heard. [01:15:46.568 – 01:15:56.688] God then will grant us the serenity, the undisturbed faculties of the soul, [01:15:56.688 – 01:16:01.868] to accept that final thing we cannot change, which is death. [01:16:01.868 – 01:16:12.848] And at that moment, He will give us the courage to change the final thing we can, our [01:16:12.848 – 01:16:15.728] temporal abode for one eternal. [01:16:15.728 – 01:16:25.728] And two, He will grant us the wisdom, along with that courage at that moment, to

[01:16:25.728 – 01:16:35.828] realize and to understand that we are then only taking the 13th step into eternity, and then [01:16:35.828 – 01:16:36.928] it'll all be over. [01:16:36.928 – 01:16:47.008] All the heartaches, and the loneliness, and the disappointments, and [01:16:47.008 – 01:16:57.568] the deceptions, and the criticisms, and the pain, and the suffering, the sorrow, and the sin, and the anguish, and the shame of it all [01:16:57.568 – 01:16:58.868] will be a thing of the past. [01:16:58.868 – 01:17:08.928] And then throughout all eternity we shall thank God that He has given us 12 little steps [01:17:08.928 – 01:17:20.148] on which we have descended to peace of mind and true serenity here below in

[01:17:20.148 – 01:17:30.828] order that thus we were enabled to finally ascend to eternal serenity [01:17:30.828 – 01:17:36.768] with peace of soul and Him forever and forever. [01:17:36.768 – 01:17:46.988] And then, and then alone, shall we fully understand the enigma of God, His [01:17:46.988 – 01:17:58.648] greatest paradox, that we must die to live, that we can keep only what we give away, that [01:17:58.648 – 01:18:08.668] we can only get by letting go, that by suffering alone can we ever fully understand [01:18:08.668 – 01:18:19.128] our fellow man, and finally, that the only victory is achieved by absolute, unconditional [01:18:19.128 – 01:18:21.668] surrender to God.

[01:18:21.668 – 01:18:24.528] May He love you all forever.