May 1951 The Little Doctor Who Loved Drunks DRUNK is lying on a bed in a me and right through me.Ifelt as hospital, and a doctor is sitif I were standing on a high mounting beside the bed.The drunk is tain top… talking earnestly to the doctor. (You’d think a doctor would be- …a wave of depression came come hardened after listening to over me,” the drunk is saying. these drunks rave day after day. “I realized that I was powerless It’s a discouraging, thankless -hopeless – that I couldn’t help field…alcoholism.) myself,and that nobody else could The drunk continued: “I felt help me. I was in black despair. thatI stood in the presence of God. And in the midst of this,I remem- I felt an immense joy. And I was bered about this God business. sure beyond all doubt that I was and I rose up in bed and said, ‘If free from my obsession with alcothere be a God, let him show himhol. The only condition was that I self now!”” share’the secret of this freedom (A doctor specializing in alcowith other alcoholics and help holism hears all kinds of crazy them to recover. stories from drunks in all stages The drunk paused and turned to of de-fogging.You’d expect him to the doctor.”Ever since it haphave his tongue in his cheek at pened, I’ve been lying here wonthis point.) dering whether or not I’ve lost my “All of a sudden, there was a mind. Tell me, doctor – am I inlight,”the drunk goeson, sane – or not? blinding white light that filled the The drunk was Bill W. Dr. William Duncan Silkworth whole room.A tremendous wind Fortunately for Bill – fortunateseemed to be blowing all around lyforAA-fortunatelyfor the 1873-1951

thousands of us who have.come totherealization thatwehadlost pital to share his discoverywith and without reputation or standing a.greater friend,a greater doctor, other alcoholics.Today- when of any kind – began its growth. after-the doctor was Dr.Silkworth.By great good luck – or by “carrying the message to others ” a greater man than we had ever We forget how halting and feeble the grace of God (depending on realized.It was particularly hard to has become a very respectable that early growth was,how bedevilpart of an undeniably effective proledwithobstaclesin aworld skep your viewpoint)-the doctor was appreciatethe greatness ofthe man Dr. Silkworth. whileDr.Silkworthwas yet with gram – it is easy to forget that tical of spiritual experience and us, because of his profound per- “carrying the message”’ in the be· Itwould have been so easy to often hostile to it. sonal modesty and the disarming ginningwas a highly unorthodox Dr.Silkworth from the beginning dismiss Bill’s experience as hallucination, one of the many posundertaking.It had no precedent threwall of his weight as a doctor, gentleness,the unassuming and alsible vagaries of a rum-soaked most invisible skill,with which he and no history of success; most a neurologist,a specialist in alco brain. And a disparaging word accomplished his daily miracles authoritieswouldhave turned holism, into aiding the progress of from the doctor right at this point of medical and spiritual healing. thumbs down on it as just plain thismongrel and highlyunpedigreed could have choked off the tender We knew that he was a prodiscrewball. society in every possible way. He Again,we forget how our techcommitted social and professional shoot of faith andkilled it.Alcogious and relentless worker,but holics Anonymous might have got nique has been mellowed and reheresy right and left in order to stillitwas a shock todiscover fined by thewisdom ofexperience. publish and implement his burning started somewhere else, somehow. thatinhislifetime ofwork with Weknow now that the blinding faith in a movement which as yet Orit might not.Certainly it wouldthose who suffer our disease,he n’t have started here. Very possihad talkedwith 51,000alcoholics light and the overwhelming rush of only half-suspected its own des- God-consciousness are not necestiny and which had to groperather bly the life of every one of us AAs -45,000 at Towns Hospital and sary, that they are indeed very blindly to find terms for its own hung on the doctor’s answer to the 6,000 atKnickerbocker! Yet he was never in a hurry. rare phenomena and that the great question, “Am I insane?”” faith in itself. majority of recoveries among us When there was need for money It was here that Dr.’Silkworth And he had no “formulas,”no are of the much less spectacular made the first of his indispensible topublish the book Alcobolics stock answers.Somehow he found gradualand educational kind. But Anonymous,Dr.Silkworth used his contributions to AA.He knew -by outvery early that the unexpected in the beginning, the “hot fash”” personal infuence without stint to an insight thatno amount ofmediwas to be expected in alcoholism, cal training alone can give a man and for a man who knew as many was stressed-nay,insisted upon. helpraise the money.Asa preface -that what had happened to Bill Dr.Silkworth had his professionto the book he wrote the chapter of the answers as he did,he came al reputation to lose, and nothing titled,”The Doctor’s Opinion,”* was real,and important.”I don’t toeach new casewith a wonderknow what you’ve got,” he told whatsoever to gain,by permitting giying AA his praise and approval fully open mind…the great and Bill,“but whatever it is, hang on and encouraging this unheard-of without reservation orqualification classic example of which is his to it.You are not insane. And you procedure of one God-bitten drunk -at a time when there were only a handling of Bill. And this gentle little doctor, trying to pass on his strange story thin one hundred of us dried up! may have the answer to your problem.’ The encouragement of the with his white hair and his china ofalightandavision toother al- He was indeed our first friend, blue eyes – child’s eyes, saint’s coholics-most ofwhom at that and indeed a friend in need.His man of science, as much as the eyes- was a man of immense per time received it with lively hosfaithin uswasfirmer than ourfaith spiritual experience itself,started AA on its way. tility or magnificent indifference. sonal courage. It must be rememin ourselves.Bill says:“without bered that he went much farther Then Bill met Dr.Bob, and the Silky’s help,we never would have When Dr.Silkworth died ofa first few drunks,incredulously,begot going – or kept going!”Again, heart attack in his home in New than merely encouraging Bill’s faith in his spiritual experience. gan tomaketheir incredible recov- York early.in the morning of March his contribution was indispensible. He saw to it that Bill was permiteries. The infant society, without 22nd, even those AAs who knew Whydidhedoit? ted to come backintoTownsHosa book,without a program really, The answer to that is the answer himbest and loved himmostawoke

to Dr. Silkworth’s whole career: at Charles B. Towns Hospital, he insisted.“They drink compul- There is not room here – nor he loved drunks. Why he lovedNew York, a private hospital sively, against their will.” One of has there been opportunity for the drunks is a secret known only tospecializing in alcoholism and the early drunks whom Dr.Silknecessary research- to consider Godand the doctor-andperhaps drug addiction.Here,Dr.Silkworth treated,a big husky sixhis status as a medical man. It the doctor himself did not wholly worth’s special skill with alcofooter,dropped on his knees before can be said that he held a position understand the mystety.‘It’s a holics – and his growing underthe doctor,tears streaming down of very high eminence in his progift,” he used to say, his eyes standing and love for them -had his face, begging for a drink. “I fession.He encountered opposition twinkling. full scope.Yet he estimated that to some of his views, and he was He discovered his gift very early the percentage of real recoveries Dr. Silkworth related, “- this is latterly therecipient ofvery widein his medical practice.He was among the alcoholics he worked not just a vice or a habit. This is spread recognition and praise for graduated from Princeton in 1896, withwas only about 2per cent. compulsion, this is pathological his work. It is literally true that and took his medical degree at New The large number of hopeless craving, this is disease!. he was the world’s greatest prac- York University in 1900.Then he cases, and the deep degrees of He loved drunks -but there was tical authority on alcoholism.His interned at Bellevue;and it was human tragedy and suffering innothing in theleastdegree fatuous pioneering work in the concept of whileworking atBellevue that he volved, weighed heavily upon the or sentimental about that love. It alcoholism as a manifestation of found he was drawn to alcoholics, gentle doctor.He was often procould be an astringent love,an allergy has been validated by laand they tohim. foundly discouraged. almost surgical love. There was ter experience and has been the When nobody else could calm a Then came Bill – and AA. the warmest of light in those blue subject of a great deal of medical disturbeddrunk,Dr.Silkworth One who has known the doctor eyes, but still they could burn interest and research just recently. could.And he found,rather to his intimately over many years has right through to the bitter core of Dr. Silkworth’s was a great conamazement,that even the toughest said this about it: “Silky never any lie, any sham. He could see tribution to the establishment and and most case-hardened ofdrunks told me this.It’s my own opinion. clean through egotism, bombast, development of the alcoholic treatwould talkto him freely- and thatButI believe that AA wasSilky’s self-pity and similar miserable ment center at Knickerbocker Hosmany of them, even more amazingly, reward.All those years he plodded rags that we drunks use so cleverpital in New York. In later years, wept.It became evident that he along – treating drunks medically lyto hide our central fear and he was sought out for consultation exerted-orthattherewasex- -defending them -loving themshame. and-advicebydoctors andby those erted through him – some kind ofand not getting anywhere much. All this he did-without hurting in charge of state and city alcothawing infuence on the frozen And then God said:All right,little anyone.While insisting rigorously holic treatment projects. There life-springs pf the alcoholic. man, I’m going to give you and that recovery was possible only on was a steady stream of visitors, Yet the years that followed wereyour drunks a lift!And when the a moral basis – “You cannot go some of them from’ foreign lands. full of discouragement. There were lightning struck, there was Silky, two ways on a one-way street” Also, every day, there were long twoyears on thepsychiatric staff right where he belonged -in the he never preached,never denouncdistance telephone callsfrom those at theU.S.Army HospitalatPlattsmidst of it!” ed, never even really criticized. seeking further help,those seekburg, N.Y. during the’first world Early in his career,at a time He brought you, somehow, to make inghis advice – all over the U.S. war,followed by several years on when alcoholism was almostuniyour own judgments of yourself, There remain these things to be the staff of the Neurological Inversally regarded asa willful and the only kind of judgments that noted: Dr,Silkworth was a small stitute of thePresbyterianHospital deliberate persistence in a nasty count with an alcoholic.How did man, well under medium height. His in NewYork.Twice he entered invice, Dr. Silkworth came to behe do it?“It’s a gift.” Just comcomplexion was ruddy. His re to private practice,only to be lievein the essentialgoodness of ing into his presence was like markable eyes have heen mendrawn back into hospitalwork with the alcoholic.”These people do walking into light. He not only tioned. His hair was snow white alcoholics.His work continued on not want to dothe things they do,” bad vision – he gave vision. andnomember of AA knew him

otherwise,for he was already well reached and brought back to life- REFLECTIONS along inyears when our relationto AA-and to God.And I have shipbegan.You would say that the wanted very much to write this habitualexpression of hisfacewas tribute faithfully and well,in the a smile- until you thought about name of all those who share my it,and realized that the features debt and my gratitude.And yet I were really nearly always in re have realized from the beginning Heartful we reflect upon the life and deeds of our pose, and the impression of a thatthis articlewillentirelyplease friend and benefactorWilliam Duncan Silkworth. smilearose actuallyfroma certain nobody.To those who knew and light about his face.(Too many of loved the saintly doctor,it will As physician-saint this rare man was, we AAs see us have noticed it to be mistaken!) seem insufficient. And some of him, among the greatest of God’s gentlefolk. He loved to be well-dressedthose who didn’t know him may was, in fact, quite dapper – and think it overdone,for the truth We shall remember him as one of.the architects of our.4 in thishe was not without a certain about Dr. Silkworth is strong medwhimsical andself-recognized icine in a materialistic age. well-lovedSociety.The first doctor ever tobefriend vanity.Nurses-the hospital staff Thisdilemma would betolerable, -everyone who workedwith him were it not for a third difficulty: us,he described the true nature of our strange malady. quite plainly and simply adored Ihave written allalongin the At peril to his career,he filled us with high hope ip him. He was unfailingly gentle, uneasyknowledge that what is courteous, thoughtful. He was hapsaid here is by no means pleasing our pioneering time; though a man of science he boldy pily married, and he and Mrs.Silkto the doctor himself. The inciset his approval on the book Alcobolics Anonymous, worth shared a delight in growing dent of physical death certainly things -in flowers – in gardening. has not placed him beyond knowl- He was utterly and completely edge of what goes on here below. illness.Over the years that followed,he stood by the indifferent to money, to position, And he will not bepleasedwith all to personal gain or prestige of any this, because while he was stern bedside of uncounted thousands, the healing art in his kind. about very few things, he was hands and compelling love in his eyes.We-the He was a saintly man. sternly and seriously opposed to We drunks can thank Almighty the publication of his own name Children of the Night-knew that he understood;we God that such a man was designa and fame. followed him out into the light of Day… ted by the divineProvidence to inspire and guide us, individually Itake comfort,however,in the In this time we know, too, that his good lady and all and as a group, on the long way fact that his sense of humor most back to sanity. certainly will have survived his others near must share with us the’certainty that a And now -in this anonymously recent transition to a’New Home. And I feel sure that his disapproval written journal of an anonymous society – I hope I may be permitof the present essay will be temhe dwells in one of our Father’smansions among ted,in closing,the anomaly of a pered by amusement, and by the personal note. You see, Dr. Silkpriceless gift he gave us all so that great company of God’s gentlemen who worth saved mylife.Iwas one of freely while he was yet as we are have gone on before. those “”hopeless” ones whom he -his great love.