DICOBE-00523 – Frank R – GULF COAST RNDP – 1980-11-16

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Source: DICOBE-00523 – Frank R – GULF COAST RNDP – 1980-11-16.mp3 File: dicobe-00523-frank-r-gulf-coast-rndp-1980-11-16.mp3 Duration: 00:54:20

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I'd like you to help me welcome my friend and your friend, and he loves us all, Frank Yar from Fayetteville. My name is Frank R., and I'm a truly grateful recovering alcoholic. I think after Clay read How It Works and Maggie read Those Traditions this morning, there's not a whole lot else Frank R. can say. That means an awful lot to me, to hear that read, and the traditions, Maggie, mean an awful lot to me today in my life.

At one time, I thought those traditions, I knew those traditions, and the only thing I knew about them is our leaders were trusted servants. They do not govern, and that was a tradition for me, and that's a story in itself. Truly, I'd like to thank the committee for asking Frank to be with you this weekend. It's a real honor and a privilege to be down here. I've heard an awful lot about the Gulf Coast Roundup from a lot of people, and I was mentioning to Franklin this morning, there was a man that touched my life about eight and a half years ago that talked to me about you people in the Gulf Coast Roundup, and that man, to me, I know all AA's have clay feet.

I know we're all just one drink away from a drunk if we're alcoholic, but this is a little man that I was six months sober in an alcoholic tsunami, and I'd been asked to chair that month at my home group, which is a Tri-City group. That's the greatest home group in the whole U.S. of A. It's Tri-City and College Park, Georgia, and I hope you feel that way about your home group. If you don't, you need to find you another home group.

That's the message y'all gave me, and I believe that myself. But I was chairing that month, six months sober. I guess sometimes I get a little emotional, and I used to worry about it, and I don't no more. But Lee and Eileen were celebrating their fifth birthday that month, and flyers went out that Bisham was going to speak, and I didn't know who Bisham was. And I did notice there was a lot of people talking about if Bisham was going to be there.

And come that Monday night for that birthday, and I never seen so many people, I don't guess, in my life. It just kept coming, and I worried about it. I didn't have enough coffee, and who was this Bish? And this Bish walked into the room that night, and he kind of lit that room up. And to me, I guess from that point in my life on, I put this man on a pedestal. I truly did. And he was, to me, was a guy that just, love just flowed through him.

And Bish shared with me on more than one occasion about two people, and this Gulf Coast Roundup, and it was so special to him. And it means just an awful lot to me to be with you here today. I got to say this. Bo just helped me remember that. I want to tell you a story. Maybe that'll help you all get over being nervous about me being here. I had a dream last night, and I dreamed I had died and went to heaven.

And when I got to the Golden Gates, Maggie, St. Peter was there, and he said, Frank, I don't know whether we can let you in or not. He said, Joe Reckard, I'm looking at the Book of Life here, and he said that for a few years there, you was kind of rough. Kind of rough. And you had some hard times. Seemed like you really liked the women. I said, St. Peter, I had some problems early in my life, but I said, don't you see in there where I found Alcoholics Anonymous, and I got better.

And I started trying to do the things that you taught me to do, and Jesus wanted me to do, and my God speaks to me about. He said, Frank, I see where you made that big turnaround. He said, you really did, and said, that's good. He said, what we're going to do is we're going to let you come in up here, and we're going to put you on a year's probation. And during that year, we're going to give you the ugliest woman we got, and every step you take, you're going to walk with her.

And if you make it that first year up here, then we're going to let you stay, and you'll spend the rest of your eternity up here with her. And I said, that's more than fair, St. Peter. That's more than fair. So I started my journey, and one of the first guys I ran into was our boss, Ronnie. And there's Ronnie walking around up there, and he's got Farrah Fawcett draped over him. And I knew that wasn't right.

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They had made a mistake.

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So I went back to St. Peter, and I said, St. Peter, you've made a mistake. I said, just down the road there, I saw Ronnie, and look, he's got Farrah Fawcett walking around with him, and I said, he was worse than me. And they said, we know, Frank, but in heaven, we punish the women just like we do the men. Thank you. I feel better. I realize I wasn't asked to come down here to share that. But at the same time, I feel better.

I guess what I was asked to share was my experience, strength, and hope with you people. And you people are the ones that have saved my life. You've given me a second chance at life, and for that, I'll always be grateful. I hope in doing this that I'll mention gratitude many times, because I'm truly, truly a grateful recovery and alcoholic. And I hope I always remain to be grateful, because I read in one of my books that as long as I remain grateful, I remain sober, and I want to remember that.

To tell this story, I have to tell you a little bit about my dad. And my father was probably the most important man that I ever knew down here on earth. He was a man that loved Frank R.. I was not his only son, but I was certainly his favorite son, and he loved me almost to the point of hurting me. And I know this today, and I've known it for a few 24 hours, but I didn't know it back then. But to tell you about this man just a little bit, I have to…

My mom, who just had her 75th birthday, she lives in the Carroll County Convalescent Center in Carrollton, Georgia, and she's grateful. She's grateful to you people in this program for what y'all have done to her boys, or for her boys, Frankie and Richard. You see, my younger brother walks in this program with us, and he does a good job. He's sober today and going on six years sobriety, and for that, I'm truly grateful.

But Mom, Mom doesn't understand exactly how this program works. She, uh… If you had talked to my mama today, and some of you met Mom, she would tell you Oral Roberts got me sober. And, uh… I used to laugh about that some, and then I got to thinking, and I've learned to be a little bit open-minded in this program. That was necessary. And I know there was a lot of prayers that she had written to Oral Roberts, and I'm sure there were some prayers that went up from Oral Roberts.

I know there were some prayers that went up from my mother. I know there were some prayers went up from people that loved Frankie and wished he would find something. And somehow or another, these prayers was answered, and I think that's why I'm here with y'all today. It was a power much greater than myself or anybody on this earth that answered those prayers and directed me to you people. But Mom will tell you that the first ten years that her and Dad lived was probably the best ten years of their marriage.

My daddy was a poor man. He was a carpenter. He worked from sunup to sundown, and we lived over on Washington Street, over near where the Atlanta Stadium is today. We ate pork and bean sandwiches three times a day, and I don't remember a thing about none of this. But I know Mom said they were happy. They were happy, and we had a good home. But my daddy got his break a little late in life, and he went in the building business.

He started building and selling houses, and dollars and cents started coming into our life. And with dollars and cents, he brought John Bollick home. And I can remember as a kid, 11, 12 years old, Dad bought us a nice brick home, built us a nice brick home out on Ormwood Avenue in East Atlanta. And Dad would come in from work, and Dad would be drinking. Sometimes he'd be drunk. Sometimes he'd be drinking.

And my mom would jump on my father, and she'd tell him, said, you ought not come home and let the boys see you drinking like that. And my dad was not a big man in stature. I guess he was about my size, maybe just a little larger. But he was a very proud man. And the one thing you couldn't do with my father is tell my father he was wrong, particularly when he was drinking, because he was a very mean drunk.

And I've seen myself sit there at a table in the kitchen and seen him slap my mama around. I've seen him bust up furniture. I've seen my dad lock himself in the bedroom and tell us he's gonna blow his brains out and the gun go off. And I'm just a kid. And people, you know, I don't know how to explain this, but I can say at this point in time

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that I'm truly grateful to the ALA team. And I wish I'd have known about an ALA team program back then, because things was happening in my house that I couldn't go out and talk to my friends the next day, Winston and Johnny and Jack. I couldn't tell them about my daddy beating my mama up or my daddy threatening to kill himself. And on more than one occasion, Dad would get the gun, and he'd run my mother and me and my brother out of the house at the point of a gun in a drunken rage, threatening to kill us.

And these are things you just don't share with your friends the next day if you live through it. And Miss Story always asked Mama the same question. She'd say, R., how come you live with that man? And my mama would say, Story, the only thing I got to be grateful for is the boys will see what liquor's doing to their father, and they won't grow up to be like him. Well, I can't tell Richard's story here today, but I can assure you the things I saw my daddy do as a little kid was the things that Frank R. grew up to excel at.

Now, there was something else I learned about this town. And after Daddy lived through that drunk and we got back home, my daddy was going to make things okay. He was going to make it up to his boys and to Mama. And on Saturday, we'd go to the Madison Theater there in East Atlanta. Winston and Johnny and Jack and that crowd I run with. And they might have 25 cents or a Capitola token to get in the show. Frank R. had 10 or 20 dollars in his pocket to get in the show.

My daddy bought my love, and at that point in my life, I'm afraid my love was for sale. And it was alright, and I found myself upholding my father over the way that he was doing and telling my mama, if you wouldn't fuss so much at my daddy, things would be alright. Things would be alright. And that's kind of how I grew up. When I was in the 7th grade, some of the kids had bicycles. Frank R. had a motor scooter.

When I was 15 years old, you had to be 16 to drive a car in Georgia. But when I was 15, my daddy gave me the keys to a 54 that was really a nice looking little car. And I looked at the car and I told my daddy, I said, you take that car and you go get it painted black and you get some rolled and pleated leather interior in it, and you get some Venetian blinds on it, and you get some Hollywood mufflers on it, and you get some fender skirts, and I'll drive that car.

And you know my daddy, dear, he wouldn't fix that car up just the way his boy would. And people, that was kind of the way I grew up. Anything in the world that Frank R. wanted, all I had to do was tell my daddy, and I got it. When I turned 16, and this is important to me today because I got a 16 year old son at home now. And sometimes it hurts not to give him the things that I really down deep want to give him.

But I know at the same time there are things that Neen needs to earn. And I don't want him to be like Frankie was. But when I turned 16, my dad gave me the keys to a brand new red and white 56 Ford convertible. And I want you to know at Roosevelt High School in Atlanta, Georgia, I was the I had lots of girlfriends. I had lots of girlfriends. And I thought it was because I was such a nice looking guy. Maybe it was my charming personality.

And then I got to UP for a little bit, and I got a little bit sober and I started realizing that 56 Ford convertible had an awful lot to do with my girlfriend. I drove around with a credit card that was my father's. I used that credit card freely. And that was the way it was. That was my growing up. And knowing that if we just lived through them drunks it was going to be alright. And my dad made them millions with dollars and cents.

I got a lady here with me this evening, or this morning that most of you that know me know Sherry. And that lady's mighty special to me because I truly believe that my God my God used Sherry R. in order to get Frankie to Alcoholics Anonymous. Every time I tell this story, I tell you a little bit about my first wife. I tell you a little bit about my second wife. And then I'll tell you a little bit about my third wife.

And I think this morning it's not necessary. If you're alcoholics and you live and did some of the things I did, some of you can relate with divorces. I don't know that that's part of the illness, but it's a hell of a lot of you that's familiar with it. I know that. And I thought I was unique. I really did. I thought I was probably the only person in the world that ever had the third divorce on the way.

But I know today that's not so. I went through two marriages, and the only thing out of those marriages, I guess, was my second marriage. I had a son born to me. His name's Clark. He was ten days old before I even knew I was a father. We were divorced when Janice was seven months

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old. I was working at Eastwood Hardware and Building Supply when a man come in there one Saturday morning and congratulated me on the birth of my daughter, my son, and that don't make you feel too good, and there's not a whole lot I can do to change that today. And as I worked and tried to work these steps, a couple of years ago I can remember Big John, some of you know Big John, Big John helped me an awful lot with Step 9, because on that list of amends, I had that family, and I had that boy who's sixteen himself today.

And I was talking to Big John and told him, I said, you know, I feel like I owe something to that boy, because after three years, we gave that boy up for adoption, or not adoption, Janice had remarried and he wanted to adopt my son. I signed the papers, and I thought, at that point in my life, it was great. You see, I didn't have to pay no more child support, and that's kind of a joke, my daddy didn't have to pay no more child support. Frankie would pay it sometimes, sometimes daddy would, but it always got paid.

And when she wanted to adopt him, she married a good man, a fine man, and they're very happy. And here I am, almost seven years sober, and I'm worried about making amends to these people. And Big John tells me that Frank said, from what you tell me, and the way it is now with him, you'll probably do more harm to that family than you would ever do good, by going and showing up and introducing yourself as Clark's husband, or father, and just putting a family in a turmoil.

And said, I think there are times when you have to just let go, and let God. And that helped me an awful lot, because at that point in my life, I was ready to let go, and let God. And they're doing well, and that's good, that's good. But that was the disease of alcoholism working in my life, that cost me that. And that's alright, that's alright now, because I know that that was God's plan, just exactly the way it worked out.

But I met my present wife, I hope my last wife, they tell me a three-time loser gets life forever, and I hope that's the case. Sometimes I wonder, she refers to me every once in a while as her present husband. But I met this pretty woman out at Owens Illinois Glass, and that's where I work today. I'm an employee assistance coordinator at Owens. When I met her, I was a leer attendant at Owens. I was drinking a lot of beer, and I was drinking a lot of liquor, and I was telling a lot of lies.

I had a black 1963 Thunderbird. It was a pretty car, it was a pretty car. And I had a good reputation, one that I was proud of. I was a guy that drank a lot of beer, and I drank a lot of liquor, and I didn't take no crap off nobody. And I was proud of that, I was proud of that. And so when I asked Sherry for a date, her friends advised her, don't get mixed up with him, he's bad. He's bad news. And I guess that was the best advice they could have gave Sherry, because Sherry decided she wanted to go out with me.

And we started dating right in. I took my wife down to Stewart Avenue to show her the bright lights in the big city. And if any of you have been in Atlanta, you probably know a little bit about Stewart Avenue. They got Uncle Tom's, and they got Bob's Hideaway, and they had the Martin Eats. And you know, they got some clubs on Stewart Avenue. When you go in down there, they'll check you to see if you got a gun. And if you don't have one, they'll issue you one.

You really need them. You need them. And I think my friend upstairs knew exactly what he was doing, because this day and time, I wouldn't be alive, I know. I was lucky to get through then, but today I know I would have never made it through. Because you see, I went to the clubs, and I drank their beer, and I drank their liquor. And something happened in Frankie that made me feel good. It made me feel big. It made me feel important. And I was no respecter of anything or anybody, let alone Frank R..

And I got in a lot of fights on Stewart Avenue. And I told y'all many times in this program, when I got to Alcoholics Anonymous, I had an 8-2-1 record. That's eight losses, two damn near beat to death, and one beat slapped to death. I don't believe I ever won a fight. I'm the guy that could drink the pint of liquor, and I thought I was Tarzan, all the women were Janes, and the old men was Cheetahs. And when you're a 140-pound weakling, that just don't work. It really don't. I don't have to live like that no more, and I'm really praying. I'm really praying. I've got a lot to be grateful for. A lot to be grateful for.

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But this pretty black 63 Thunderbird, they called me one day as it worked. And Sherry worked on one shift, and I was on another shift then. And they said, Frankie, a rucker is out there, got your car, hauling it off. And I got upset, and I run out there, and I come to find out a truth. You see, my dad's drinking. It's gotten progressively worse. My drinking was getting worse. My brother was falling right into his big brother's footsteps, and his drinking was causing problems. And all these problems were costing Daddy dollars. And it seems that I was behind on my car note, and what I'd like to share that I know for a fact today is if you get behind on them car notes and you don't come up with the money, they'll take your car.

And that's what they did. They repossessed my 63 Thunderbird. And there's some steps that bust egos, but I guarantee you when they haul your car off, that'll take care of some ego problems too. And I proceeded to wind up across the street at the Mark Inn. You see, I'd graduated from Stewart Avenue to the Mark Inn up there on Sylvan Road. They'd built a nice Mark Inn right across from my factory. And this place had wall-to-wall carpet on the walls, and it was really nice. It was really nice.

And I was drinking over there, and I had a lot of friends in these bars, and we called them barroom lawyers. Now, I really don't know where they went to law school, but you can believe that once I sat down and consulted one of them barroom lawyers, I had just heard the truth, and I knew exactly what the law was and how it worked and what my rights were. I believe these people. I never asked them where they went to school, but I believed them. And I was telling them if I paid everybody that I owed that day, that I wouldn't have enough left to buy me one more beer. And they told me, they said, Frank, don't you understand that the CNS Bank is a big lending institution? They loan money to people for interest, and that's how they make money.

And if they don't get your little hundred dollars a month, Frank, they don't worry about it. They just write it off. And Glenwood National, they're not big as CNS, but they do the same thing. If you don't pay them, they write it off. And I didn't know it. I didn't know it. So I quit worrying about the CNS and the Glenwood National and a few of them other bills I had. And, uh, Sherry and I was getting paid every two weeks back in at Owens. And we went out to pick up our paychecks, and bless her heart, she even worked some overtime back there. And Sherry got her check, and I got a note to go to personnel. And I went up to personnel, and they said, Mr. R. said, uh, the courts have, you've been garnished. That's what's happened.

And, you know, you just, the CNS, they turned it over to the courts, and the courts turned it over to the lawyers, and the lawyers turned it over to Owens, Illinois. And if I worked 80 hours for two weeks, by the time Uncle Sam got his money, and that lawyer got the money he had coming, that was going to leave me with $14 every two weeks to do as I saw fit. And, uh, that second part of the first step started becoming true in my life. My life was truly becoming unmanageable. Now here I was, my car had been repossessed, my check had been garnished, I'd been divorced twice, I'm on a dead-end street at work.

The only reason I still had a job, I had a union that would believe the lies I would tell. And they would try to defend me. And it was that point in my life that I asked Sherry R. for her hand in marriage. Now, I tell that, and then I look at her, because I'm afraid just one of these days she's going to say, you know, I am sick, and she's going to leave. She's going to leave, because she had to be pretty sick. Who in the world, there's a guy that's been divorced twice, his car repossessed, his salary garnished, he's sorry, just sorry.

And he's asking for Sherry's hand in marriage. And, uh, she said no. She said, she didn't see no need in that. And, uh, I begged and I pleaded, and finally she said something to the effect, if you'll shut up, we'll get married. And I shut up long enough for us to get married, and we started, that was March the 10th. Our story's disclosed in a general way, don't it, man? Anyway, 14 years, this coming March, yeah, we'll be married 14 years, March the 10th of 1981. I can't even subtract that.

But anyway, that's how we started out. And I took Sherry. Sherry was a beautiful girl, and she really liked me both. And we'd go to Stewart Avenue, and I drank that liquor, and I'd gamble, and I'd tell lies, and I could dance pretty good when I was drinking. I couldn't dance a lick until I started, but once I started drinking, I got better dancing, and I got better shooting the shuffleboard, and I got a lot smarter. Boy, was I smart. I thought my name was Webster, and I'd wrote everything in that book.

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And it went along pretty good for about a week. And then Sherry wanted to start asking some of them silly questions that my mama used to ask my daddy. Where'd you go last night? Why do you run around with that crowd you run around with? Why do you drink so much? What'd you do with your money last night? And all them questions, and I couldn't ask a lot of questions about what I did last night, because I didn't remember a lot of the things I did. I've been knowing about blackouts since I got to you people, and you told me what blackouts were. Before then, I guess from the time I was 17, 18 years old, I couldn't remember a lot of the things I said and did the night before.

But I just thought that was when I drank just a little too much, and I wouldn't drink that much the next time. But I know today there was a lot of blackouts, a lot of blackouts. And there's nothing that hurt me any more than Sherry wanting to ask all them silly questions, and me not having no answers but just some more lies, lies, lies. And I kept digging a hole deeper and deeper and deeper. I can remember one Christmas with my boy, Dean. And I was so proud of this, and I don't know that I've ever shared this before. But I remember one Christmas, Christmas Eve, my mama, my mama was living with us then. Because you see, I love my mama an awful lot, and I was afraid my daddy was going to, in a drunken rage, kill my mother.

So I went and got my mom, and I brought her home to live with me and Sherry and my boy. Because I didn't want daddy to kill my mama, and I wanted to help Barbara. And that way I let my mama watch me slap my wife around, and bust up furniture in my house, and get locked up. And I call myself Heffin' Mama. I know today, people, the only way I can make amends to my mom is just by living this program to the best of my ability, one day at a time. And practicing the principles that you people teach me in Alcoholics Anonymous, one day at a time. That's how I make amends to my mom today. And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for that.

But I can remember one Christmas Eve, coming in. I was sitting over at the Mark Inn, me and a friend of mine. And that friend of mine is in Reesville right now. He was 45 years old when he went in, and he's got 20 years to serve. But he was a guy, one of my drinking buddies, a guy I loved an awful lot. A guy that I would jump in front of a car for, if we was both drinking, to help him out. He was a good man.

And he's got 20 years. He'll be 65 when he touches freedom again, if he lives. But we decided that we needed to do some Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. And I didn't have no money, so I went in the one door of the Kmart, and out the other door of the Kmart, and in one door of the Kmart, and out the other door of the Kmart, in a drunken stupor. And I finally come home at 10.30, 11 o'clock at night, and there's Sherry, there's Dean, and there's my mother. Sherry's mad. Dean's excited. It's Christmas Eve. My mama's not saying much or nothing. And I come in, and I had some Christmas presents for everybody that I had stolen.

And I thought Sherry'd be real proud of me, but Sherry wasn't very proud of me. Matter of fact, she had a lot of mean things to say to me that night. And I remember picking up the Christmas tree and throwing it from one end to the other of the living room, and it busting up. And I can remember getting up that Christmas morning, Sherry, with that hurting in my gut, not knowing, not knowing what in the world was wrong, and really not knowing what I said or what I'd done. But mom was gone, Sherry was gone, and my boy was gone. And they were gone for almost two weeks.

And I went right back, I went right back to the very thing that got me into that shape, liquor. And I was drinking liquor because that helped me forget, and it makes things just a little better temporarily. And that was kind of where I was in. And I was going downhill, and I was going downhill fast. Now, my dad, I told you, he was a very proud man. He was a Mason, he was a Shrine, he went York Rite, Scottish Rite, he coached Masonry. And daddy knew all the big, important people in Atlanta. Was rated in Dun & Bradstreet.

But dad's drinking had gotten to the point by this time that he had moved from the top, and he was living at the Judson Hotel on Pryor Street in Atlanta. They tore that hotel down by now. But all of dad's friends that were so important to him at this time were kind of drifting away. to him at this time were kind of drifting away and there wasn't nobody really but daddy and me and Richard would go down and see daddy when we needed a hundred dollars and and that's kind of how our life was going now Sherry lived like this for five years and after about five years of this she knew that she could do better than what she had and she went and got her a lawyer and divorce number three was headed for Frank Wright and

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now people that's uh that got Frankie to look at Frankie just a little bit and there's an ad it's in a journal in Constitution there in Atlanta and I thank my god for that ad that ad reads something to the effect that if you got a drinking problem call such and such a number and I'm thankful for the way that ad read because you see people if it said to call Alcoholics Anonymous and I was 30 years old at that time I sure wouldn't have been calling you people because that's the one thing I knew I knew I wasn't an alcoholic an alcoholic was a skid row bum that laid in the gutter and begged for wine and Frank R. didn't lay in the gutter and I sure didn't beg for wine so that wouldn't apply to me an alcoholic is a person the minute his eyes open getting sober yet and I thought wow what's that guy saying he didn't didn't he understand and today what Clarence said a lot of it makes an awful lot of sense to Frankie I guess maybe I crossed that three year point maybe that's why it started making more sense but I don't think so I know steps 10 11 12 are steps that I can never complete I use that 10th step two three four sometimes more a day steps 11 is when I'm thought through prayer and meditation to improve that conscious contact for God praying only and that's a key praying only for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out not for the bargaining prayers that I once used to offer to my friend but only for knowledge of his will for Frankie and the power to carry that out step 12 there's a hooker and step 12 for Frankie was a hooker for a while sometimes it still is it says having had a spiritual awakening I feel like I've had a spiritual awakening we try to carry this message to other alcoholics but the hooker people is when we practice these principles in all in all our faith that's not always easy it's always worth it but it's not always easy you know it's hard sometimes for me to remember to be grateful it's hard for me to remember to show this open-mindedness patient tolerant this love sometimes when I'm walking through my day my 24-hour day because I'm not always with you people I'm working with other people and there's a lot of people that can upset me if I give them that power and I let them pull my string and if I do I'm not practicing the principles in all my affairs I've forgotten something and I gotta always remember that I gotta tell you about 1971 and that next to my sobriety date of October the 18th 1971 1978 the most important year of my life up until today in January of 78 Sherry found out discovered went to a doctor and they told her she was pregnant and that made me real happy that made me real proud I'd done a lot of praying for that baby done some other things too in March of 78 I wound up back in Emory Hospital something happened to my vision my eyes was distorted my leg was dragging they run some more tests myelogram spinal taps and whatever you want to call them a bunch of stuff they made a big deal out of it on Sunday morning three neurologists come up to my room and me and Sherry was there and they told me they said Frank we know what's wrong with you I said that's good what is it they said you got multiple sclerosis I said that's fine what is it he said well Frank it's something that affects the central nervous system is it attacks the myelin and it affects different people in different ways Frank no two cases are just alike and uh we don't really know what causes it and we ain't got no cure for it and I kind of grinned at him and Sherry was there and I said you know you guys know I'm an alcoholic I said I have a disease called alcoholism and I said it affects different people in different ways and uh they ain't got no cure for it nobody knows what causes it or how to cure it and uh but I've got 12 steps that help me with my alcoholism and the first three being is I can't handle it God can and I'm gonna let it and I submit to you people this

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morning that those first three steps work with MS just like it worked with alcoholism Frank you can't handle it God can't and I'm gonna let it and that's exactly how it worked out I can tell you at that point in my life that serenity prayer become just a little bit more special than it had in the past I can also tell you that I got a little bit more grateful each day of my life when I get up and walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth and to shave I count my blessings you see I spend a lot of time not counting blessings for things the fact that I could walk the fact that I could talk the fact that I could see the fact that I can hear I took a lot of that for granted people for a lot of years but I count my blessings and thank my God for all these privileges and I certainly thank my God for the privilege of being with y'all this morning in August the 21st of 1978 God sent me the most beautiful little girl that any man could ever want her name is Mandy right and I Mandy's not supposed to be here today I don't guess Mandy's with her grandmama and she'll tell you that she's daddy's darling and I'll submit to you this morning she's truly daddy's darling and I thank my father in heaven for that beautiful girl I thank him for all you people and this wonderful program y'all given us I thank him for my wife whom I thank he used to direct me or lead me to you people I've got so many things to be grateful for I've truly been blessed in my life and I know all I got to do today is you just don't take that first drink and you try to practice some of the principles all the principles if you can't that we talk about in this program and life gets better that lady that's sitting down here I'm looking at right now Maggie my first sober new year's I was at the best game room I'm about a month and a half sober people and that place was packed that place was packed and I couldn't believe it there was new year's eve and nobody was drinking they were drinking coffee and coke but nobody was drinking liquor or beer and y'all seemed to be pretty happy and there was a lady there that night from a hole in the ground group in Los Angeles California that was the name of the group the hole in the ground group and that impressed me she was from Los Angeles California and celebrate new year's with and she read a poem that night called the other place and I asked her after that would you please send me a copy of that and people I have never made a talk since I got that copy that I didn't close with that poem because people that was guys speaking to me through that lady it means an awful lot to me then it means an awful lot to me today and you people mean an awful lot to me John and Dorothy all of you are very special in this guy's life because you see without you I know I have nothing and with you I've got a chance for another day to live as my friend upstairs would have me live I'm gonna close now with that poem called the other place it said I dreamed one night I passed away and left this world behind I started down that lonesome trail some friends of mine to find I came to a soundboard on the trail the directions it did tell keep right to go to heaven turn left to go to hell I knew at the I knew at the crossroads the path I'd have to take I started down that rocky path that leads to Satan's place I fear within not knowing just what I might have to face oh Satan met me at the gate what's your name my friend I said I'm just old sober Frank who come to a very sad end he glanced through some yellow file there's been a mistake I fear you're an alcoholic we don't want you here I said I'm looking for some friends and a smile stories face if your friends are alcoholics they're in the other place so I turned and went the road I'd came till the crossroads I did see and turn right to go to heaven as happy as could be Saint Peter smiled and said come in for you I have a birth you're an alcoholic you've been through hell on earth I saw old dub and old Pete too Bill C and a friend called Bill and it sure didn't make me happy because I thought they had gone to hell so friend take warning learn something from my trip you've got a place in heaven if you try hard not to slip and if someone offers you a drink when you're not feeling well just tell him you're going to heaven and he can go to hell

[00:44:51]

you Hello,

[00:45:21]

welcome to a short walk through the city of San Francisco, California. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America.

San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America. San Francisco is the capital of the United States of America.

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