Transcript

[00:00:00.400 – 00:00:03.159] And as customary, I will first introduce my… [00:00:03.159 – 00:00:13.440] It's a pleasure to be chairman this morning, particularly so to introduce the first speaker [00:00:13.440 – 00:00:23.480] here, who has not only meant a lot to me individually, but who has meant so much to so many [00:00:23.480 – 00:00:24.660] people in Dallas. [00:00:24.660 – 00:00:35.840] Having had the privilege of attending two consecutive study groups by this man, I could never tell him what [00:00:35.840 – 00:00:37.000] he has meant to me. [00:00:37.000 – 00:00:39.560] Lloyd? [00:00:39.560 – 00:00:52.700] Thank

[00:00:52.700 – 00:00:53.160] you, Ed. [00:00:53.160 – 00:00:56.880] My name is Lloyd. [00:00:56.880 – 00:01:06.960] I am an incurable alcoholic, and with the help of a power greater than [00:01:06.960 – 00:01:17.750] myself and the fellowship of this AA program and its members, I have been entirely free from alcohol and, [00:01:17.750 – 00:01:27.320] or self-administered narcotics for twelve years yesterday afternoon at four o'clock. [00:01:27.320 – 00:01:37.320] So this morning, I am a few hours into my thirteenth year, and I hope the number thirteen [00:01:37.320 – 00:01:43.810] doesn't prove to be unlucky, but I'm actually not too afraid of it. [00:01:43.810 – 00:01:49.000] I've had one period of sobriety longer than this one.

[00:01:49.000 – 00:01:57.420] I had a period of sobriety that was thirteen years long at one time, a year longer than this one. [00:01:57.420 – 00:02:05.940] That other period of sobriety existed from the day I was born until about my thirteenth birthday. [00:02:05.940 – 00:02:16.340] I have great hopes, if I can hang on to life for a little while, that perhaps [00:02:16.340 – 00:02:20.540] I can surpass that thirteen-year period. [00:02:20.540 – 00:02:30.940] This is the first AA talk that I have made since my little heart attack early last January. [00:02:30.940 – 00:02:40.960] I have acted as chairman a couple times, but the doctor has refused up till now to m– let me make a talk, and he [00:02:40.960 – 00:02:43.740] finally gave his consent for this morning. [00:02:43.740 – 00:02:49.580] But he did give me some admonitions about talking.

[00:02:49.580 – 00:02:59.860] He said, "If you'll get up there and say what you have to say and then sit down, and do it calmly and quietly, [00:02:59.860 – 00:03:01.600] I don't mind you talking. [00:03:01.600 – 00:03:12.040] But don't get up there and try to make like the world's greatest orator." So it seems that I have a bad reputation, [00:03:12.040 – 00:03:14.420] particularly with the medical profession. [00:03:14.420 – 00:03:21.560] I'll try to be, uh, I may have a bad reputation with AAs, too, on that score. [00:03:21.560 – 00:03:27.660] But I'll try to be calm, and I'll try to say what I have to say and then sit down. [00:03:27.660 – 00:03:32.140] I'm glad to talk this morning on Mother's Day. [00:03:32.140 – 00:03:38.320] And it looks like we have been hit here this morning with church attenders.

[00:03:38.320 – 00:03:48.200] And I can't criticize those folks who attend church on Mother's Day and Easter because they do far better than I do. [00:03:48.200 – 00:03:49.560] I don't attend at all. [00:03:49.560 – 00:03:52.700] And I should, but I don't. [00:03:52.700 – 00:04:02.140] My own mother is ninety years old and alive and alert and feeling fine. [00:04:02.140 – 00:04:09.120] And she's sitting out at the Methodist home, the CC Young Memorial Home, this morning. [00:04:09.120 – 00:04:19.720] And she is perfectly content and perfectly satisfied that I [00:04:19.720 – 00:04:23.220] have been cured of my drinking problem. [00:04:23.220 – 00:04:26.380] And she has lived for ninety years on blind faith.

[00:04:26.380 – 00:04:36.640] And certainly, I am not one to argue with her and try to tell her that I am not cured at all, that my disease has only been arrested. [00:04:36.640 – 00:04:46.640] I just let her think along in that line of thinking, and she's happy in that line of thinking, and that's [00:04:46.640 – 00:04:47.380] fine with me. [00:04:47.380 – 00:04:57.400] At this birthday period each year, I always try to make a little [00:04:57.400 – 00:04:59.900] annual checkup on myself. [00:04:59.900 – 00:05:09.900] And I don't mean that I don't work the twelfth step each day, the tenth step each day, and try [00:05:09.900 – 00:05:11.620] to do something about inventory. [00:05:11.620 – 00:05:18.860] But I find that it helps me to check up on myself annually about birthday time.

[00:05:18.860 – 00:05:29.300] And I usually like to do it from a lectern such as this one here in an AA meeting, because [00:05:29.300 – 00:05:37.140] there I can talk to myself and give myself just as much hell as I want to. [00:05:37.140 – 00:05:40.220] And I'll be doing that this morning. [00:05:40.220 – 00:05:43.700] I'll be asking myself some questions and trying to answer them. [00:05:43.700 – 00:05:52.800] And those of you who have heard me talk before around my birthday time may have heard these same remarks that I'm going to make. [00:05:52.800 – 00:06:00.600] And if you have, you just have to have an open mind and try to abide with me until I'm through. [00:06:00.600 – 00:06:09.348] But I find that it helps me to talk to myself- each year rather severely. [00:06:09.348 – 00:06:19.368] And of course, I'm talking this morning not only to myself, but I'm talking also in the hope that I can throw out some thought that might

[00:06:19.368 – 00:06:29.468] strike some person here and be helpful to some person here because I always feel in an AA talk that if [00:06:29.468 – 00:06:37.908] anything I might say can keep one person from taking a drink for one day, then the meeting has been a huge success. [00:06:37.908 – 00:06:46.588] I like to ask myself three questions at birthday time. [00:06:46.588 – 00:06:55.548] Those three questions are these, and I'd like to talk about them do– during the time allotted to me this morning. [00:06:55.548 – 00:07:04.748] The three questions that I like to ask Lloyd are these: Why am I here? [00:07:04.748 – 00:07:09.288] Why am I a member of Alcoholics Anonymous? [00:07:09.288 – 00:07:12.768] What am I doing here? [00:07:12.768 – 00:07:22.808] And number two, I like to ask myself this question: Now that

[00:07:22.808 – 00:07:27.928] I am here, what is expected of me? [00:07:27.928 – 00:07:38.708] And number three: Even after twelve years, what can I still expect from [00:07:38.708 – 00:07:40.868] the program of Alcoholics Anonymous? [00:07:40.868 – 00:07:49.908] So let me talk about those three, beginning with number one, why am I here? [00:07:49.908 – 00:08:00.228] In asking myself these questions, I find that the [00:08:00.228 – 00:08:10.298] greatest help in deflating my ego, the greatest help in giving me some serenity and an appreciation of this [00:08:10.298 – 00:08:17.148] wonderful way of life, is to bring up the subject of gratitude. [00:08:17.148 – 00:08:30.188] I find that deep-seated, thoughtful gratitude for what has occurred in my life always

[00:08:30.188 – 00:08:40.228] helps me to face the challenge of another day, and it always helps to remind me of where I came [00:08:40.228 – 00:08:46.208] from, and I must never forget where I came from. [00:08:46.208 – 00:08:55.068] So it's necessary for me every now and then to reach out and get a little shot of gratitude. [00:08:55.068 – 00:09:06.308] And I don't, I don't propose to give you this morning a bottle-by-bottle drink-along, not at all, but [00:09:06.308 – 00:09:11.368] there are at least a thousand and one occasions in, in my drinking life [00:09:12.853 – 00:09:23.153] That I can go back to, and thinking on any one of those occasions makes me grateful for the fact that I am alive [00:09:23.153 – 00:09:24.453] and sober today. [00:09:24.453 – 00:09:34.493] And I'd like to cite just two or three or four of those occasions to you in order to show you and

[00:09:34.493 – 00:09:43.313] to, to show myself why I am here as a member of Alcoholics Anonym- Anonymous this morning. [00:09:43.313 – 00:09:53.353] I would go back first, if I needed a shot of gratitude, a way, way back [00:09:53.353 – 00:09:58.033] in my life, prior to Prohibition, if you please. [00:09:58.033 – 00:10:07.913] And there aren't many AAs left anymore who were uncontrolled drinkers prior to 1918, but I was. [00:10:07.913 – 00:10:18.053] There aren't even too many who drank during the fifteen years of Prohibition, but there's a lot more who drank during those lemon extract, [00:10:18.053 – 00:10:24.393] Jamaica ginger, beef iron and wine tonic days, and I have had them all. [00:10:24.393 – 00:10:34.493] But prior to 1918, if I needed a shot of gratitude this morning, I would go back to one morning in Casper, Wyoming, when [00:10:34.493 – 00:10:44.593] I had unloaded off of a freight train and I was filthy and dirty and hungry, and I needed a

[00:10:44.593 – 00:10:54.692] bath, and I needed a shave, and I needed a change of clothes, and I needed food, and I was lonely, and I was unwanted. [00:10:54.692 – 00:11:04.773] And I had panhandled down the street until I had thirty-five cents, and with [00:11:04.773 – 00:11:06.993] a nickel, I had bought a sack of Bull Durham. [00:11:06.993 – 00:11:15.513] And I was standing that morning at the back of a saloon with thirty cents clutched in my hand, waiting for the saloon to open. [00:11:15.513 – 00:11:23.633] And when it did open, I knew that I could buy two pints, two full pints of horse. [00:11:23.633 – 00:11:30.093] Now, Icky talked here the other morning, and he had another name for it. [00:11:30.093 – 00:11:32.153] Sometimes it was called sludge. [00:11:32.153 – 00:11:34.613] Sometimes it was called schnapps.

[00:11:34.613 – 00:11:36.453] Sometimes it was called lightning. [00:11:36.453 – 00:11:39.933] I've forgotten what Icky called it, but it's all the same thing. [00:11:39.933 – 00:11:42.833] And in case you don't know, I'm gonna tell you what horse is. [00:11:42.833 – 00:11:53.292] Horse is the dregs and the leftovers that come off the bar in a saloon, [00:11:53.293 – 00:11:56.533] and it's all poured in a keg with a spigot at the bottom. [00:11:56.533 – 00:12:03.792] The beer, the whiskey, the wine, the Hostettler's Bitters, anything that is left over goes into that keg. [00:12:03.792 – 00:12:11.533] And stretched over the top of that keg, there is a, a little piece of cheesecloth. [00:12:11.533 – 00:12:21.793] That cheesecloth is for the purpose of straining out the flies, the broken glass, the Bull Durham cigarette butts, and any other lumps

[00:12:21.793 – 00:12:24.613] that might accumulate in the leftover. [00:12:24.613 – 00:12:28.313] Now, you can't buy this stuff at night because they want the money at night. [00:12:28.313 – 00:12:38.333] But the next morning, when the saloon opens, you can buy it for fifteen cents a pint, and in those days, they were full pints and full quarts. [00:12:38.333 – 00:12:39.513] There was no fifths then. [00:12:39.513 – 00:12:49.533] And I was standing there waiting for that saloon to open, and the thought occurs to me today when I want to [00:12:49.533 – 00:12:57.053] think about gratitude, that even then, even then, liquor was coming first with me. [00:12:57.053 – 00:13:02.853] Because I got my two pints of horse, and I've always wondered why they called it horse. [00:13:02.853 – 00:13:06.273] I have a hunch that originally there was another word after that.

[00:13:06.273 – 00:13:14.033] And for the sake of good society and convenience, they just dropped the last word. [00:13:14.033 – 00:13:15.973] That's just a personal opinion. [00:13:15.973 – 00:13:22.153] I was waiting there for my two pints of horse, which I finally secured. [00:13:22.153 – 00:13:30.553] And in order to be alone, I went into an outhouse, and you know the kind I mean, in the alley with the crescent in it. [00:13:30.553 – 00:13:40.573] There, above food and above a bath and above clothing and above anything else in life, I consumed the two pints [00:13:40.573 – 00:13:46.273] of horse in order to get a belt and in order to put myself in shape. [00:13:46.273 – 00:13:49.633] Even then, liquor was coming first with me. [00:13:49.633 – 00:13:56.073] And if I need a shot of gratitude, all I need do this morning is go back to that occasion.

[00:13:56.073 – 00:14:00.373] And if I needed a shot of gratitude, I'd go back, and I'm coming up through the years now. [00:14:00.373 – 00:14:07.593] I would go back to a time when I was discharged from the state hospital for the insane at Nebraska. [00:14:07.593 – 00:14:14.293] I had been there on voluntary commitment for inebriacy. [00:14:14.293 – 00:14:16.593] They didn't call us alcoholics in those days. [00:14:16.593 – 00:14:17.933] They called us inebriates. [00:14:17.933 – 00:14:25.453] And I was discharged one day, and I received a little slip of paper, which I still have. [00:14:25.453 – 00:14:36.033] And that slip of paper said that I had taken the prescribed treatment there at the hospital for inebriacy and that I was discharged [00:14:36.033 – 00:14:38.133] as of that date, cured.

[00:14:38.133 – 00:14:40.693] And the word cured is in bold type. [00:14:40.693 – 00:14:42.433] I still have that. [00:14:42.433 – 00:14:43.873] Someday I'm going to frame it. [00:14:43.873 – 00:14:49.493] I took a streetcar into Lincoln from that hospital, and within two hours, I was drunk. [00:14:49.493 – 00:14:54.152] Within five hours, I was not only blacked out but passed out. [00:14:54.152 – 00:15:00.673] If I need a little shot of gratitude this morning, all I need do is go back to that occasion. [00:15:00.673 – 00:15:07.243] And I could go back to another ca- occasion a few years later, a night in East St. [00:15:07.243 – 00:15:14.853] Louis, when I was lying in a dive, an opium-smoking dive.

[00:15:14.853 – 00:15:18.309] and I was smoking a pipe of opium. [00:15:18.309 – 00:15:28.629] I had been there before on one occasion, and I had decided to go back because I wanted to interview [00:15:28.629 – 00:15:37.249] the rest of the beautiful women that seemed to crowd into my crib after I'd had a few drags off of that opium pipe. [00:15:37.249 – 00:15:39.569] And so I was there for my second time. [00:15:39.569 – 00:15:49.589] And there was an old man there who said to me, "Young man, drink all the liquor you want to." And he [00:15:49.589 – 00:15:50.369] was an addict. [00:15:50.369 – 00:16:00.549] "Drink all the liquor you want to, but don't ever reach the point in life where you have to have this pipe to live because it's hard [00:16:00.549 – 00:16:07.559] to get and it costs money." In some way, somehow, that sunk into my befuddled brain, and I never went back.

[00:16:07.559 – 00:16:16.929] And I understand on good authority that it takes only three trips sometimes to the opium pipe in order to become addicted. [00:16:16.929 – 00:16:26.949] If I need a shot of gratitude this morning, I need only think about that occasion, and I can be eternally and humbly grateful for the thing [00:16:26.949 – 00:16:27.989] that has happened to me. [00:16:27.989 – 00:16:38.789] Then I would come on up through the years if I need a shot of gratitude this morning or any other morning to [00:16:38.789 – 00:16:48.869] a day in Minneapolis, Minnesota, when I had been attending a convention, and I had been off of liquor for several weeks, striving [00:16:48.869 – 00:16:53.809] desperately to get away from the jug and wanting a drink every minute. [00:16:53.809 – 00:16:57.689] And the convention was over, and we went out to the estate of the president. [00:16:57.689 – 00:17:03.529] There they had everything, everything, and I went out.

[00:17:03.529 – 00:17:07.929] I had checked out of the Nicollet Hotel and left my bags in the lobby. [00:17:07.929 – 00:17:17.969] And there out at that house, a little secretary came to me that I had talked with all the time on the telephone between my office [00:17:17.969 – 00:17:27.989] and Minneapolis, and she said, "Lloyd, you're not drinking, are you?" And I said, "No, I'm not." And she said, "Let me get you a glass of punch." In the middle of [00:17:27.989 – 00:17:30.469] the table was a great huge glass of punch. [00:17:30.469 – 00:17:40.489] And I said, "All right." And she brought me a glass of that punch, and I had it in my hand, and then she said, "I [00:17:40.489 – 00:17:46.829] just found out that there is a couple bottles of champagne in that punch, but that will be so weak. [00:17:46.829 – 00:17:52.659] I don't think it'll make any difference." And I said, "No, it won't make any difference," and I tossed it off. [00:17:52.659 – 00:18:02.749] Within thirty minutes, I was in the kitchen where the hard liquor was being served, and within another thirty minutes, I had called a taxi

[00:18:02.749 – 00:18:11.709] cab and left the party ahead of the other people and gone back to the Nicollet Hotel and checked into my room that I had already checked out of. [00:18:11.709 – 00:18:22.149] And two weeks later, later, to make a long story short, I was taken off the train at Des Moines, Iowa, by the police where they had telegraphed [00:18:22.149 – 00:18:22.799] ahead for help. [00:18:24.226 – 00:18:32.726] And I was taken off the train at Des Moines, a screaming, raving maniac in a wire cage and put in the hospital. [00:18:32.726 – 00:18:39.866] If I have need for a shot of gratitude this morning, I can get it by going back to that occasion. [00:18:39.866 – 00:18:49.285] And I would think then of a day in Dallas, and this is much later, when a doctor stood beside me, and he's dead now. [00:18:49.285 – 00:18:51.546] He was my family doctor, and he's gone. [00:18:51.546 – 00:19:00.606] And I had been drunk for two weeks, and I had had no food in that two weeks, nothing but liquor and black coffee.

[00:19:00.606 – 00:19:10.246] And he had– I had begged him for shots of morphine to relieve my pain so many, many times that he had finally refused to give me any more morphine. [00:19:10.246 – 00:19:14.786] And that day, my pulse was gone. [00:19:14.786 – 00:19:16.606] My eyes were not blinking. [00:19:16.606 – 00:19:17.526] They were staring. [00:19:17.526 – 00:19:18.646] My lips were purple. [00:19:18.646 – 00:19:28.826] And he looked in my eyes with that little light, and he turned to my wife and said, "I think he's gone." I came up from that bed three [00:19:28.826 – 00:19:31.526] days later to get drunk. [00:19:31.526 – 00:19:39.126] If I have need of a shot of gratitude for this program this morning, all I need do is refer to that occasion.

[00:19:39.126 – 00:19:42.386] I could go on and on and on here, but time is short. [00:19:42.386 – 00:19:47.266] I could go back to the hallucinations, the forerunners of DTs. [00:19:47.266 – 00:19:51.125] I could go back to the actual DTs. [00:19:51.125 – 00:19:56.566] I could go back to the tongue-biting, frothing convulsions. [00:19:56.566 – 00:20:06.906] And also, I could go back to the ambulatory coma, the blackout that comes in sobriety from too fast withdrawal from alcohol. [00:20:06.906 – 00:20:16.806] I could go back to any of those, and they– any one of them would make me deeply and humbly grateful that I can stand here this morning sober. [00:20:16.806 – 00:20:27.086] And then last, I would go back to a night in February of nineteen fifty when I sat in my office after closing [00:20:27.086 – 00:20:27.586] hours.

[00:20:27.586 – 00:20:37.906] I had had no liquor for seventy-two hours, and I was shaking and in pitiful condition, and I had poured a half water glass of cognac [00:20:37.906 – 00:20:38.726] on my desk. [00:20:38.726 – 00:20:48.826] And some way, somehow, I finally, after many attempts, called the central office of AA in Dallas, hoping, I think, that it was late enough by that [00:20:48.826 – 00:20:58.906] time that Dick would be gone and that I could say, "Well, I tried, but there was nobody there." But Dick answered the telephone, and he talked nice to [00:20:58.906 – 00:21:05.566] me, and he said, "Have you taken a drink?" And I said, "No, but I've got it poured." He said, "Can you hold off about ten minutes? [00:21:05.566 – 00:21:07.906] I think I can get somebody there," and he did. [00:21:07.906 – 00:21:14.626] And that night, I went to my first AA meeting, and I was not happy in that meeting. [00:21:14.626 – 00:21:15.726] I was hungover.

[00:21:15.726 – 00:21:19.966] But something must have rubbed off because I came back. [00:21:19.966 – 00:21:21.826] Now, I have been drunk since then. [00:21:21.826 – 00:21:24.086] I had a ninety-day trial run in AA. [00:21:24.086 – 00:21:35.336] But that night, the thought of that night gives me deep gratitude for the thing that has happened to me, for [00:21:35.336 – 00:21:40.906] the fact that I have been able to absorb enough of this program to stay sober. [00:21:40.906 – 00:21:46.566] Let's hurry on just momentarily now to these other two questions that I want to ask myself. [00:21:46.566 – 00:21:50.766] Now that I am in AA, what is expected of me? [00:21:50.766 – 00:21:53.626] Just what is expected of me?

[00:21:53.626 – 00:22:02.626] I think, of course, I'm expected to stay sober, and I can if I abide by the rules, and for me, the rules are many. [00:22:02.626 – 00:22:05.206] There are things I dare not do. [00:22:05.206 – 00:22:06.926] There are things I must do. [00:22:06.926 – 00:22:10.266] And I think I'm expected to stay sober. [00:22:10.266 – 00:22:15.186] I think my higher power expects it of me, and I know I want to expect it of, of me. [00:22:15.186 – 00:22:24.066] And I think my friends and my associates expect me to stay sober, and I'm going to try for the rest of my life. [00:22:24.066 – 00:22:25.266] I'll tell you. [00:22:25.266 – 00:22:29.606] I think I'm expected to participate in the AA program.

[00:22:29.606 – 00:22:40.086] If I don't do anything but sit here and keep my mouth shut and put my dollar in the hat, I think I'm expected to do that [00:22:40.086 – 00:22:40.846] in AA. [00:22:40.846 – 00:22:43.726] I am different than some AAs. [00:22:43.726 – 00:22:49.366] I have never been able to graduate, and I don't believe I could graduate. [00:22:49.366 – 00:22:55.946] And some seemingly do graduate from this program rather successfully, but I know that I never could. [00:22:55.946 – 00:23:06.106] I am fully convinced that if I was without AA contact or AA meetings for thirty days or maybe less, that I would very [00:23:06.106 – 00:23:07.706] surely be drunk. [00:23:07.706 – 00:23:10.226] So I have to be here.

[00:23:10.226 – 00:23:20.396] And even if I didn't have to be here, even if I didn't feel the need of AA meetings, even if I was disgusted with listening to talks, [00:23:20.396 – 00:23:26.686] which I'm not, even if I wanted to stay away from AA, I don't think I could do so. [00:23:26.686 – 00:23:32.465] I don't think I could have the apathy to sit and take no part in AA. [00:23:32.465 – 00:23:42.626] And the reason is that I found in AA a medicine that saved my life, and I feel an obligation to AA and a duty [00:23:42.626 – 00:23:51.206] to AA, and I don't think my conscience would ever permit me to graduate from this program even if I wanted to. [00:23:51.206 – 00:23:56.246] And God knows I don't want to because I need you people. [00:23:56.246 – 00:23:58.326] You people taught me how to live. [00:23:58.326 – 00:24:01.506] You taught me everything I know about life.

[00:24:01.506 – 00:24:06.526] And believe you me, I want to stay in this bracket. [00:24:06.526 – 00:24:10.846] I have finally found the place where I belong. [00:24:10.846 – 00:24:15.286] And let me look now for just a minute at this third question. [00:24:15.286 – 00:24:25.566] Now that I am in AA, and now that I seem to know why [00:24:25.566 – 00:24:30.566] Because of past experience and alcoholism, chronic and acute. [00:24:30.566 – 00:24:40.846] And now that I, I feel a little bit that I know what is expected of me in [00:24:40.846 – 00:24:46.426] this program, then I would ask myself, "Where do I go from here? [00:24:46.426 – 00:24:49.726] What may I expect from the AA program?

[00:24:49.726 – 00:25:00.556] What does the future hold?" Well, I expect to continue one day at a time to refrain from drinking, and [00:25:00.556 – 00:25:10.646] I can expect sobriety, of course, in this program if I apply the rules that are for me, and they may not be the rules by which you have [00:25:10.646 – 00:25:11.486] to abide. [00:25:11.486 – 00:25:17.206] And by that same token, I may not have to abide by the rules that you use. [00:25:17.206 – 00:25:24.426] Each of us finds his own niche in AA, but there are things I must do and things I dare not do. [00:25:24.426 – 00:25:34.686] And if I apply that discipline in my life, then I think I can expect to go on a day at a time remaining sober and living in this program. [00:25:34.686 – 00:25:39.546] And I think, too, that I can expect to continue to build friendship. [00:25:39.546 – 00:25:44.946] I never had a friend in my life until I came to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:25:44.946 – 00:25:51.305] Nobody trusted me, rightfully so, and I didn't trust anybody else. [00:25:51.305 – 00:25:56.206] I was always shooting an angle, and I expected everybody else to be shooting an angle. [00:25:56.206 – 00:25:59.766] I never formed any close friendships. [00:25:59.766 – 00:26:10.606] And so since coming to AA, I have formed many, and I have learned to love the AA way of life, and I have learned to love you people [00:26:10.606 – 00:26:12.006] because you help me. [00:26:12.006 – 00:26:16.606] The one who comes this morning for the first time helps me. [00:26:16.606 – 00:26:22.006] The ones who are here who came years ahead of me, they help me. [00:26:22.006 – 00:26:24.026] All AAs help me.

[00:26:24.026 – 00:26:25.486] I feel at home here. [00:26:25.486 – 00:26:35.266] This is the life that I want, and so I ask for nothing more, nothing more as I continue on through life. [00:26:35.266 – 00:26:45.946] I hope, I ask for nothing but the privilege of just keeping sober one day at a time, [00:26:45.946 – 00:26:56.306] taking a little inventory occasionally to see that I'm not getting off the beam, trying to live the kind of a life that I should have been living during my [00:26:56.306 – 00:26:58.406] thirty-five years as a drunkard. [00:26:58.406 – 00:27:01.206] That's all I ask for. [00:27:01.206 – 00:27:02.546] That's all I expect. [00:27:02.546 – 00:27:12.746] You people in the AA program have made that possible, and to you and to the program, I am humbly and eternally grateful.

[00:27:12.746 – 00:27:13.826] Thank you for listening. [00:27:13.826 – 00:27:32.786] Thank [00:27:32.786 – 00:27:33.206] you, Lloyd.