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Source: DICOBE-00070 – Wesley P – CETA GLEN CONF – 1972-04-15.mp3 File: dicobe-00070-wesley-p-ceta-glen-conf-1972-04-15.mp3 Duration: 01:21:52
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Wow. My name is Kim. I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict. Due to a loving God who found me and many people just like you, I've been free from all chemical crutches since the thirteenth day of March, 1970. And, uh, that day was the worst day and the best day of my life at the same time. You know what I mean. This is really an honor to be called to introduce Wesley. Uh, it's just an honor to be alive. It's a pretty good life for a guy who used to talk to cotton plants every other day. And this conference has meant a lot to me. City Glen is my favorite conference of all of them that I go to. This is my fourth City Glen. When I was here at the one four years back, I had two days, you know. And I was here for the first time I experienced, you know, the universal love that's present for all of us. The second time I came, I had a month and about three weeks. You know, the last two I've made, I've been building on this month and that's a couple of years. I've enjoyed this conference tremendously. Speaker Friday night, Yvonne, really rang my bells, you know. I like what she said about those of us that aren't pure alcoholics, you know, that are here. I believe this program demands prayer and meditation, not prayer and medication.
But the way I was, I was just a kind of a slimy thing that crawled around under the rocks, you know, and thought I was hip, you know, I was being hip. And I was busy doing my thing and being hip, I just about died, you know. But I got to the stage where I couldn't live with or without alcohol or drugs. And it's not too bad if you can live with them or live without them, you know, either one. But I mean, I couldn't do either, you know. And this loving God I've come to know, he came to me and showed me the way. He sent me the right people at the right time and I've been at the right place at the right time, in spite of myself, you know. Because I'm the type of person that would break an anvil, you know, if he gave it to me. But I won't say much more other than I'm just really, it's just an experience to be here. I enjoyed the meeting last night. I enjoyed the speaker mentioning that God can and will and he won't let you down, because he sure hasn't let me down. And of some of the people in the world that I love the most are here.
I've met many beautiful people here that I didn't know. And there's a lot of people I haven't met yet. I know you, I just haven't met you yet. But it's just a fantastic experience to be here. And I was talking to Wesley Friday night and he said it was a great honor to be asked to go somewhere and tell him that he was a drunk. So now I give you Wesley P. Thank you, Kim. Hi, everybody. Well, I'm Wesley P. and the time has finally arrived.
You know, I want to get into this kissing deal first. I've heard so much about it. You know what Rena tells me? That's my wife. She says, you know, you can kiss all of those AA guys you want to, but just be damn sure you don't linger. My name is Wesley P. and I am an alcoholic. And it's just a wonderful privilege to be at Cedar Glen and meet you wonderful people and renew friendships with a lot of you. And it's wonderful to be invited, as Kim says, to Texas and to tell you about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, because this is one of my responsibilities. I see all of the young people here at this conference and you know, you warm my heart. Because I can stand in front of you young people and tell you that I've had the wonderful experience of living the program of Alcoholics Anonymous through the prime of my life. I have the wonderful experience of knowing that this program works. I found this program in 1947, November the 13th, which would make me 24 years plus in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And this program has gave to me exactly what the big book says. It says that it will give you things beyond your fondest dreams. And
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this is true. I too, like Lee, am a little emotional about this, but it's something to be emotional about. Because when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I only know one word that would describe me, and that word is nil. I was nil. N-I-L, nil. That means nothing. There's nearly nothing that you can have and signifies it. And what I am today, I owe to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous 100%. I have had this opportunity and as I said before, it is my responsibility to tell you about it. It's my responsibility to let you know that this program works without any reservations. If we as individuals, we as individuals apply this program to our own individual selves, one day at a time, it'll work for me and it'll work for you. But it's each of our own responsibilities to his own self to apply this program. No one can do it for you. You have to do it for yourself. If you want to read the big book, you have to read it. Your sponsor can't do it. If you want to read the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous of the grapevine, you have to do it. Your sponsor can't do it for you. You have to have your own interpretations of the 12 steps. What will keep me sober won't phase you and what will keep you sober wouldn't phase me. So it's our individual interpretations of the program which in essence is about the same as to how we ferried this program. And we are all searching for the same thing. We are searching for a way to live and be happy without alcohol. That's why we're here. Some people use the word comfortable. We are living to be comfortable once again within us. I'm quite sure the reason I was an alcoholic is that I was uncomfortable. When I was born, they just didn't tighten all the screws. And what did I do? I went through life till I was 17 years old with a lot of loose screws.
And I was an introvert. I was bashful. I couldn't do and say and act in society as I would like to act. No one knew this about me but me. I kept it all to myself. And when I was 17 years old, I took my first drink of alcohol. And what happened? I was entirely a different person. I could do and act in society just the way I wanted to. And I made a decision very early in life that if I was going to be a success in life, I was going to have to take of alcohol. And that I religiously did until I was 34 years of age. I progressed day in and day out into alcoholism. I wasn't born an alcoholic. I just drank alcohol. And I'm quite sure tonight, today, as I stand in front of you, that if castor oil would have had the same effect on me as alcohol, hell, I'd have been a castor-olic. It wouldn't have made a difference. It's just that simple. I drank it for the effects, for what it did to me. And I think all alcoholics do the same thing. I did like to taste the Canadian club, yes. But the taste wasn't all. I know there's some newcomers here and I know it's some that's listened to speakers in this conference, and we've had wonderful speakers. And you are kind of doubtful in your mind, you're kind of pessimistic as to whether this program will work or not. I'm quite sure there's some here that way. There's always a few of us that's doubting Thomas's. Naturally so, because I think this is a, this is a, this being a human being. And I have this little story I always like to tell because it brings out the point that you have to be optimistic in this program if you're going to make it. You have to believe in the program. You've got to be enthusiastic about the program. You've got to acquire a hungry mind for sobriety. You've got to use this program. You've got to live it if you're going to stay sober. There was a man that had two sons. One was very optimistic and one was very pessimistic. And he became very, extremely worried about these two young men. And so he decided that he would take them to the doctor and have them analyzed. And so the psychiatrist talked to the two kids together and he could get
[00:10:02]
nowhere with the kids. So he decided he would separate them. So in one room he put the pessimistic one with a lot of beautiful toys and said, son, I'll be back in an hour. And he left. He took the optimistic one and he put him in another room with just a box of horse manure and said, son, I'm going to leave you here for about an hour and I'll be back. So he went away and stayed the hour and he went in to see the pessimistic one first. And the little boy was sitting in the same position, hadn't moved a muscle. And he said to the little boy, he says, what's wrong with you? Why have you played with the toys? And the little boy says, well, I know why. You've got me in here. You want to analyze me? And he says, I don't want to be analyzed. He says, you've got these beautiful toys here and I'll start playing with them and start liking them. What happened? You'll take them away from me. I've got to go home. And so I'm just not going to have nothing to do with them. And the doctor says, well, that's fine, son. So he went next door to see the little optimistic one. The little optimistic one was down on his knees digging in this horse manure. And he says, son, what you doing? And the little boy looked up at him and says, Doc, with this much horse manure around, there's got to be a pony somewhere in this box.
Well, you know, all new members of Alcoholics Anonymous come in and they're doubtful. They're very pessimistic about this program. And I'm talking from experience, my experience. You're like me. I didn't come into the States over 25 years plus. I came in here to get the monkey off my back and I was very pessimistic about this program. Very pessimistic about it. And I just thought the first couple of weeks it was just a bunch of horse manure. I didn't think it would work for me. But you know, I'm still around. I'm still digging. I know what it is to have a pony because I was born in a little town of South Georgia and when I was six years old, my daddy gave me a pony. And I know what it is. And it's a happy feeling.
And this AA program will give you the same happy feeling if you apply. Be optimistic about the program. Come in and try it for 30 days. Just try it 30 days or maybe 60 days. And if you don't like what we've got to offer, you can go right back to your misery. But give us 30 days and see what we've got. These people are not kidding you. We have a way of life that will make you happy and give you the things in life that you really like.
I've been a drunken father. I've been a drunken son. I've been a drunken citizen. I've been a drunk, period. That's not necessary for me to stand up and talk to you about. I've just been a drunk and I've gone through all the devastations that's necessary to become a member of Alcoholics Alarmed. And I will end that there. And I always like to start my talk as to how AA was introduced to me. And from there, I like to go into the program of Alcoholics Alarmed and tell you how I have found the program and how it works for me.
And maybe it's something that I say to you that may open up something for you to do in your everyday lives, which will make you a little happier. My wife tells me that I've been in Texas so much talking to AA, she says, hell, you ought to move to Texas. And you know what I tell her? I tell her my sole ambition is to just make Texas a little bigger. And so from my experiences, if I help one of you Texans, I made it just a little bigger. It's just that simple. Same way with Colorado, too, and Kansas, and Nebraska, and any other state that's here. Because this is my sole ambition, is to give whatever I can of this program away. Because I came to get, but I hope I can say to give.
One Sunday afternoon, about November the 10th, 1947, I was sitting in my front yard with my wife. I'd been sober all, I'd been drunk all week. And of course, she was not particularly happy with my conduct. It's just opposite from that, I guess. And so I was trying to get on a conversation with her. I was trying to be jovial and talk about the events of the day, and she didn't want to hear about the events of the day. She wanted to talk about my drinking.
She wanted to talk about my drinking, and so you know what happened, we had nothing to talk about, because I wasn't going to talk about my drinking, and she wasn't going to talk about the events of the day, and so there we sit, like two nuts on a log, because we were perfect strangers, we had nothing to talk about, we had nothing in common, she expected too much of me, what did I do, I'd worked hard all week, I'd put a roof over her head,
[00:15:27]
I'd put clothes on her back, and I'd put food on her table, what else did she expect of me, couldn't I sit in my front yard, on Sunday afternoon, and have a little peace of mind, and have a few drinks, and enjoy life, because Monday morning would come too fast, and I had to go right back in that same ordeal Monday morning, and there I sit, she didn't understand that, I did, but you see, I sit there about twenty minutes, and that drink, last drink was wearing off, you know, I become a drunk by repetition, one drink after another, and so I knew that the moment that I raised from that chair, that she was going to say, you see, you can't sit here for thirty minutes without running up there and taking another drink, well see, I don't know what we're going to do, something's got to happen, something's got to go, I can drink and I'll leave it alone, she said, well why don't you leave it alone, I said, this is sunny and I'm entitled to a drink, you know, and I knew this was coming, and I was trying to make a decision, whether it was worth it or not, and finally, I made the decision, and without a doubt and all again, I know what the decision was, I was going to get that drink, to hell with it, it was worth it, I was hurting, I was hurting, so I went up, I rose to go upstairs and get that drink, but as I rose, I looked over a little head there, and there was a man knocking on the door of my neighbor's house, and he saw me, and he was a towel setter, and I was an electrician, and we had worked on jobs together, and he waved at me, and I waved back at him, because, you know, just like that, I says, I hope Jim comes over here, I've drank with Jim, and I'll ask Jim to have another drink, and Jim says, sure, and then I'd go upstairs and get me a double hooker, and mix Jim and I a nice rum and coke, and everything would be cream, peaches and cream, and Rena can't say a word, because she's got to be sociable, you know, so I had her trapped, so I waved at Jim, and I did like this, and he started toward us, I thought he'd never get there, but when he got in shouting distance, I said, Jim, would you like to have a drink?
Boy, I was all that enthusiasm, you know, and he yelled back, I don't drink anymore, I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and that's how AA was introduced to me. Well, he came on, he sat down, and he had been sober about four months, and he was riding on this pink cloud, he had never told a soul about AA, he never had the opportunity to tell anybody about AA, and it was Sunday afternoon, and so he was kind of enthusiastic about the subject.
So he sat down, and Rena and Jim talked about AA for three hours. I'd run upstairs to keep on the glow and come back down, and Jim and Rena would still be talking. She'd rest him for a while, and he'd take off again. Well, finally he left. But you see, all you have to do, all this program ever asks anybody to do is to try, is to plant the seed, that's all. Just plant the seed. Just plant the seed. Every seed won't be a Xenia seed, no. You know what a Xenia seed is. Hell, you plant it today and it's up tomorrow. No, everything won't be Xenia seeds. There might be some locks, spurs, zapdragons, you know, you think it'll never germinate, but once you plant the seed, you got him hooked, or her hooked.
So Jim planted the seed, and I was the type of drunk that got drunk every day of my life. I'd wake up in the morning, my daily routine was waking up in the morning, hooping and hollering, had a tremendous size drain all down the hill. I'd drink a gallon of water, and up it'd come, and get my head clear, and I'd look in the mirror, and I'd say, Wesley, if you take a drink today, I hope God strikes you dead.
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But you know, I was living to drink and drinking to live. Did you ever get in that position? I could no more go out and face one day without being drunk. I would know how to live that day. I couldn't face, I couldn't face reality. I couldn't face the creditors, I couldn't face my customers, I could face no one without being half in the bag. It was just impossible. You see, I was addicted to alcohol. And so, I'd run down, within two minutes after I'd said this prayer, I'd run down and get out that half a pint that I'd hid the night before and start my day. And I'd drink all day long, and at four o'clock, I'd really get down to serious drinking.
I went down to this little bar down in Colored Town, and we had, one side was the colored people, and the other side was the white people. It was a segregated bar. And we could drink by the fifth there. In other words, we'd buy a fifth, and I could drink Carstairs White Seal. And it's a cheap blend whiskey. And I never did taste like the taste of it, because it always had an oily taste to it. And so, somebody told me that bitters was good for the stomach. And so, I decided I'd use a shot of bitters in my drink. And so, I just put a shot of bitters, just a drop in there, to cut, I found it cut that little oily taste, and I liked the taste of it better with this bitters. And so, I used bitters. I used, in this one bar, in a week's time, I used an eight-ounce bottle of bitters.
Now, bitters is good for the stomach, because I've never had stomach trouble. So, that proves it's good for bitters. So, I'd pass out at this bar, get home some way, a policeman would carry me home, or this, that, and the other. Get home some way, walk up the stairs of this little apartment, pass my wife and children, never say a word, and pass out on the bed. That was my routine every day, seven days a week.
So, I got drunk Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. And I guess Wednesday afternoon or Wednesday night, I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don't know no other way to put it. And I went to see Jim, and I says, Jim, can I go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with you? And Jim says, yes, you can go tomorrow night if you're sober. He qualified it. He qualified it. And they've always qualified this program, me, all my sponsors, they've always been tough and rough on me.
He says, he has great big blue eyes about this big around, and when he looks at you, he just penetrates you, you know. He says, you can go if you're sober. And I knew he meant it. So, I went home, passed out as usual. And Thursday, this was Thursday morning, I woke up, November 13th, I woke up, and I went in with the same procedure, hooping and hollering, clearing my throat. And I looked in the mirror, and I says, God, help me not take that drink this day. And through the grace of God, and that word grace means an unearned favor, through an unearned favor, I have made every mistake that a human being could possibly make since that time, through the application of the AA program, being re-educated back into the art of living, except one.
I've made every mistake possible, except one, and that one is taking a drink. I have not had a drink since that morning, that night, through the grace of God. And this is what I like to talk about. I like to talk about the mistakes I've made. I don't want you to make them. I don't want you to make them. I want you to hurry up and get the full benefits of this program. Jim took me at night to my first AA meeting, and I'm talking to the newcomer now because 25 years later, it's just as important then as it is now. It hasn't changed. They haven't dotted an I or they haven't crossed a T in the AA program. It's been repetition. In other words, I take my AA just like I took my whiskey. Repetition. Every day it's the same thing.
And any time that I get tired of the repetition of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I'm completely dishonest with Wesley Parish. And I better do something about it. Because this program has remained the same throughout the years. And you 12-step today just like they 12-stepped there. Except back in those days, the groups wasn't as big. And whenever they got a young one like me, they always sit him on the front row and they instructed the speaker what to say. And they instructed the speaker exactly what to say to me. And he got up at the table and he says, you know, coming to AA is like coming up to a railroad crossing. It says three things. It says, stop, look, and listen. And every railroad crossing I pass, it says that. Stop, look, and listen.
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He says, you've got to stop drinking if this AA program works for you. You've got to stop drinking. Period. And back in the day, we've added and taken mood-changing materials. I will add that today. They wasn't as prominent then as they are today. But taking mood-changing materials, if you're going to make this program, AA requires any individual to stop drinking. One day at a time. That's all we require. But I do say if there is one must in this program, that's it. You must stop drinking. Or taking mood-changing materials. He said, then you've got to look around and see what this program is doing for other people. You've got to believe what you see.
And these people that are attending these AA meetings are applying the AA program to their everyday life. And they have become successful again in the community that they live. They've become part of the human race again. And this will give you hope if it works for them, it'll work for you. God is not going to put anybody up on a pedestal and say, I'm not going to do this for you. God shows no partiality to no man.
And then he said, if you believe in success, you know that there's nothing to beat success. Success is top drawer stuff. And he said, if these people are a success in this program of Alcoholics Anonymous and they are staying sober, it would pay you to pay attention to them. Listen. Listen. Listen to what they have to say. He told me, he says, what you hear in a program of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is the same food for the brain as food is for the body. You've got to nourish your brain with new thoughts. You've got to get new attitudes. New ideas. And starting to apply them into your everyday life.
He says, you are wasting your time if you go to a program of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and walk out the door without taking something with you. You're wasting your time. He says, you've got to listen, listen, listen, listen. And 25 years later, I'll tell you this, you show me any person that'll listen and Alcoholics Anonymous and I'll show you a person that'll stay sober. Just that simple. Listen. Listen. Listen.
Search in this program for things that'll help you be more comfortable in living. Thank God I was taught that because a long time in AA, I went to AA searching and searching and searching and searching and searching for something and I didn't know what I was searching for. I wasted a lot of time in Alcoholics Anonymous searching in this program for what I don't know. But I stayed sober somehow. I had good sponsorship. About two weeks later, I met another man that became my second sponsor and he has been my steadfast sponsor through the years. My first sponsor, Jim, I'm his sponsor today. I'm my sponsor's sponsor. He graduated, you know, but he came back and today I'm his sponsor.
So Chris, my sponsor Chris, was a man a lot older than I. He had sons my age and he took a great fondness to me and I took a great fondness to him. And we struck up a friendship beyond the scope of imagination. He's a friend that very few men ever find on the face of the earth. And so Chris would stand me at the corner of Andrews Avenue and Broward Boulevard in Lauderdale and tell me about this program. And he preached to me one thing. I mean preached. I preached, he did. He says, Wesley, you gotta make staying sober your biggest business. It's got to be the number one thing in your life.
He says, it's got to become before your family, it's got to become before your job or business, and it's got to become before society. Because without you being sober, what are you? I ask you that question today. What are you today if you're not sober, if you're not hungry? You've got to make staying sober your biggest business. It's the number one thing in your life. Anytime that I or you put AA or staying sober in the second slot, you're becoming completely dishonest with yourself. You're cheating yourself.
You're cheating yourself. This is the number one thing every moment that you live if you're an alcoholic. It has to be that way, no more, no less. Thank God he taught me that. Because today my biggest business is staying sober. And I hope the last breath I take, my biggest business will be staying sober.
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Because it's something that I have to do because, you see, I've got an incurable disease. It's incurable. I can never cure it. I can arrest it. And the only way that I can arrest it is through the application of this program. There's no other way for me. Now, these are my opinions. Not necessarily that of anyone else. But I have to make staying sober my biggest business. And I guess this is what I lived on for a long time in Alcoholics Anonymous. Because every once in a while I'd get those screwy ideas. Well, I'm just not as sick as them other people. You know, that's just being a human being. I'm just not as sick. So one of these days I'll be able, as soon as I get Rena back in good shape and I get my creditor speaking to me again and get a little step back in society, I'll start this thing all over again and drink like a human being and not be a glutton.
This is what I said. And I kept this reservation for a long, long time. And what happened? What happened? I was a very uncomfortable individual. Very uncomfortable because I was staying sober under pressure. And you show me a person that stays sober under pressure and I'll show you a person that's uncomfortable. And I was uncomfortable. And I had business difficulties just like any alcoholic has. Hell, that's part of being an alcoholic, having a lot of business difficulties. That's just a byproduct of the disease. And I used to go to Chris, you know, I was floating a lot of wallpaper. I don't guess they do that in Texas. But I was floating wallpaper and I'd say, I'd say, Chris, I just can't make it.
I said, the sheriff was at the door today. He gave me another judgment. And he said, Wesley, this too shall come to pass. First things first, take it easy. Stay sober today. Don't take that first drink. Everything will be all right. I says, hell, you don't know what you're talking about. I said, the sheriff was at the door today. And I'd go off by myself and I had a football in my stomach that, honestly, goodness, I was the most uncomfortable human being that was ever an alcoholic. And I'd go home and I'd go home and I wouldn't talk to Rena about AA. Chris was the only person I could talk to. And I'd go home and I wouldn't say a word to Chris. And I was an introvert personified.
I wouldn't say a word to Rena. I wouldn't talk to her about AA. I didn't even want her to know that I belonged to AA. And we went four or five months. And one day I came home and she says, Wesley, you know, I'm awful proud of you. I said, what are you proud of me about? She says, you've been sober four months. I said, let me tell you one damn thing. That's my business and you keep your nose out of it. Oh, I didn't want her getting in this deal. No, sir. No part of that. But, you know, I didn't know then that alcoholism is a family disease. I didn't know it. I didn't know it.
I didn't know it. You know what Chris was trying to tell me? I can tell you today what he was trying to tell me. He says, Wesley, he didn't tell me in these words, but this is what he meant. He meant, Wesley, you've got to get spiritually well first. You know, this is the first thing in alcoholic synonymous is to get spiritually well. And then you get materially well. I didn't know this and Chris didn't know it either in these exact words, but that's what he was trying to tell me. Get spiritually well and then these other things will follow. Well, I did nothing about my family. I had no idea how much I had injured my family through becoming an alcoholic. I asked Rena one time about five or six years back. I said, Rena, why did you live with me those twelve years of active alcoholism? Why didn't you divorce me? Why did you stay with me?
And she looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes and she says, I just didn't have no other place to go. Isn't that awful? Isn't that awful? Alcoholics, cunning and baffling, you know. Well, you know, when what Rena said to me triggered something a week later, I started looking at Rena. And what I saw through my eyes was the same woman that I had when I was drunk. She had done nothing to change herself.
[00:35:09]
And here I was out here changing myself by applying to say a program and going to these meetings. Now, if I was going to make this program and get what I was entitled to out of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, there was going to have to be some changes done in this department of my life. And so I made a decision that I was going to 12-step my wife. See, this was before Al-Anon. Nobody knew anything about Al-Anon. What we, Rena and I learned the hard way what you teach in Al-Anon. We learned it the hard way. Oh, what a time we had.
Of course, she babied me, you know. And she wouldn't do anything to rock the boat. And she would go with me any time. I said, Rena, let's go to an A meeting tonight. Let's go. So we were traveling up and down the Gold Coast. And as we rode home, I would tell her, some speaker said the other night that they would interpret for their Al-Anon what the speaker said. Well, I was just opposite in my case. I would interpret to Rena what the speaker had said on the way home so to be sure that she understood all about the program, you know.
Hell, she knew more about it than I did. And so this thing went on, and I kept her under complete tension all the time. And she treated me a lot better than she did my children because I was very egotistical. And if she would do something I didn't like, I said, now, Rena, remember, I'm a sick man. Don't aggravate my disease. And I meant this. Don't rock the boat. Don't rock the boat. And I kept her under these tremendous pressures for a long, long time. And I'll go ahead and finish my family because I think this is the most important thing that we straighten out is our families and Alcoholics Anonymous.
So, I kept Rena under this pressure for about a year and a half, and finally she broke. I came home one day and she had palpitations of the heart, she told me. And I said, now, Rena, I'm no doctor, but I'm going to tell you one thing. If you had lived a program of Alcoholics Anonymous, you wouldn't have palpitations of the heart. This program teaches you that. I said, you've got to get with it. That's all. You've got to get with it.
And she'd cry more and more and more. And finally three weeks went by and we finally carried her to the hospital to have her checked. And she went through the normal procedures. And when they got through, there was nothing wrong with her. And so the doctor carried out underneath the palm tree and she says, Rena, what's wrong with you? And she told him for the first time, the first person she ever told, you know, about me. You know, isn't this a wonderful thing for people to put up with us like they do?
She finally told this doctor what was wrong. And he was amazed at what I had done to my wife. And he says, Rena, I'm going to prescribe one thing to you. He says, I want you to go home this afternoon. He says, I'm not going to put this in writing, but verbally I'm going to tell you what the prescription is. He says, I want you to go home this afternoon. And any time that you feel like giving that old man hell, give him hell. And Rena came home that afternoon and she's fulfilled that prescription. Had it renewed a trillion times since then.
This doctor took away from me the thing that I cherished the most. But you know, over the years has passed. I never thanked the doctor, but you know, this doctor did me a great service. He became a great friend of mine. Because, you see, he forced Rena to tell me her opinion. Her opinion. Which I would not allow her up to this time. She would tell me her opinion in spite of hell. And the first thing you know, I realized that she was really serious about this thing. And if I was going to have any self-protection, I was going to have to start telling her my opinion.
And so what happened, we started communicating. You know? Did you know that communication is the start of all understanding? Did you know that? I never did that before. Rena and I were perfect strangers living under the roof, not understanding each other. And we couldn't communicate with each other. There was a complete wall between us. And both of us wanted to tear down the wall, but neither one of us knew how to do it. And so she forced her opinions on me. And she's been doing it ever since. And I have to force my opinions on her. You know, sometimes you could hear Rena and I talking, and you would think that we were going to kill each other. And within seconds, it's just love and kisses.
[00:40:06]
You know, we don't pamper no more around my house. Facts is a fact. Well, you know, this was carried over to my children, too. You know, my son despised me with a passion. I don't think he hated me, but I think he detested me anyway. And daughters are not too bad about this, but these sons, they're awful bullheaded. So my son would sit at a dinner table to ask his mother a question, so she would ask me the question, so I would answer her the question, so she could tell him the question. You ever had those situations? This is part of a penalty of being an alcoholic in your family. And I realized this. And so I sit and I went through it.
But you know, as the mother and as the father started communicating with each other, and after a while started shouting, got down to normal living, you know, our house changed to a home. And you know, there's a hell of a difference between a house and a home. Did you know that? I don't care how fine a house you live in, it's not a home until there's love there. That's all there is to it. I never knew this before. I had to come to A to find this out.
So finally my kids got in tune with the mother and I, and then everything was fine. It was a wonderful, wonderful relationship, and we've had a wonderful relationship in alcoholics now. You know, my kids no more mind telling somebody that I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous than they do that I'm a member of the Methodist Church. It's synonymous with them. You know, my daughter, I sent her over here to a little college in Missouri called Stevens. And one night they were sitting around discussing alcohol, and my daughter Tish seemed to be an authority on alcohol. And one of the girls asked her, says, Tish, why do you know so much about alcohol? And she said, my dad is an alcoholic. He belongs to Alcoholics Anonymous. And hell, she broke up the party.
And she went upstairs, and the girl, and her roommate says, Tish says, you shouldn't say things like that about your father. And Tish says, well, hell, he's a member of A, so what? He's an alcoholic. He's sober in A, so what? And the girl says, well, my daddy is a member of A, too, and says, I don't run around telling everybody about it. Tish says, you're ashamed of it. Tish says, has your daddy been sober? She says, no, he's had a lot of trouble.
Tish says, well, you know, did you ever stop to think that if you wouldn't be ashamed of it, and if you would go to a few AA meetings with him and join in with him, that maybe he'd stay sober? Did you ever think about that? You see, this is the way things work in this program. My son was over at Fort Bliss in El Paso, and he called me one night about eight or nine years ago, and he said, I have a son.
I said, you do? He says, yeah, well, you know, the usual thing, you see, besides a mother, you know, has a baby, fine. Just before I was going to hang up, I says, what you going to name the boy? And he says, A. Wesley P. III. Isn't that terrific? This is important, is to get the family straightened out. And I thank God for Al-Anon, because, and Al-Ateem, because this has helped many houses become homes again. And you know this.
Well, I was still having a lot of business difficulties two, three years after I was married. And I went to Chris one day, and I said, Chris, you know, it seems that you tell me the more of this program I give away, the more I'll get. He says, that's true. I said, well, Chris, you know what happens? I go talk to these drunks, and they get drunk on me, says, I just can't, nobody wants to take what I have to offer. And he looked at me, says, Wesley, he says, you know your trouble. And I said, what is it, Chris? He says, you're a two-stepper.
I said, what do you mean a two-stepper? He says, well, you've taken the first step and the twelfth step, and he says, you ain't done nothing but about those ten in between. That's right. He says, you're a two-stepper. And he says, if you're going to make this program, Wesley, he says, you've got to take the twelve steps in the sequence that they're written. He says, have you ever seen the twelve steps in print without them being numbered? Have you ever seen the twelve steps without being numbered? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. He said, there must be a reason. How about that? There must be a reason.
There must be a reason they're numbered. And he says, you know, if I were you, I'd
[00:45:01]
go back and study the Twelve Steps. And he says, I'd take number two first. And he says, and something else I want to tell you too, Wesley, while I'm thinking about it. He says, you know, he says, God gave us two ears and one mouth. And he says, I just want to tell you, that must have been a reason for it. Oh, he hurt me. He was mean to me. So he triggered me into going back and reading the Twelve Steps. And you know, it was amazing. I noticed that it was a power greater than myself in there. And there was something about God and something I hadn't even put in my life. I was still trying this dog-eat-dog attitude, you know. I was holding on to my old ideas. And you know what the results was? They were nil. The results was nil. And I was still running scared. And after a period of time, I realized that the people that stood up at this podium and talked, always talked about God. Always talked about God. The people that get along the finest are the people that talk about God freely. And see, I didn't, I didn't realize this. It took me a long time to realize that this, how important the spiritual values of this program is. You know, on page 93 in the big book, in Italian, it says that whenever you are talking to a newcomer, you let him talk until he asks you this question. What do you do to stay well? And then you, it says tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conceptions of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided that it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. This is a spiritual program. One hundred percent. And so I decided that I would try to find out what other people did. What other people did to, to approach this subject. And this was one woman. She was black-headed. She didn't have a great hair and a high, and she had great big black eyes, and when she smiled, she just smiled all over. Have you ever seen people like that in the, in, and just ended her for, for having such a wonderful personality. And she'd get up in front of the podium and talk, and it was the most hard story you ever heard. But yet she glowed. She glowed. And I knew she had some. So I went out to talk to this woman. And when I talked to her, I came to her door, I knocked at her door, and she came to the door, and she says, come on in Wesley, says, I'm making a cake, I'm taking it out of the oven, go in the living room and sit down. So I went in the living room and sat down, and I, I leaned back in a rocking chair and my eyes went to the wall, and there was a picture. And I kept looking at this picture.
And there was a young man standing at the wheel of a ship. And he was steering this ship through a storm. And all around him was a rough sea, and a bad sea, and behind him was just big storm clouds. And he stood up there without a trace of fear in his face. And I says, you know, this young man's not afraid. I know he should be afraid, because I rode out through typhoons and China seas, and I know what a rough sea is. Everybody's afraid. But this young man wasn't. This artist, this artist did a tremendous job, because right behind this young man, he had printed in silhouette the Prince of Peace. He had painted him there. And this Prince of Peace had his hand on the young man's shoulder, and he was pointing away. And I said to myself, this young man has got a friend. He's got a friend. And my mind came back to the first day I was in AA. When I came to AA, I didn't have one friend. And you know why I didn't have a friend? I didn't want any friends.
I had a shell built around me that I didn't want nobody to know about, Wesley Parish. I just wasn't going to let nobody know what all I did. And so, therefore, I kept this shell built around me for a long, long time in AA, and I would let no love of AA come inside of me. I was a faker. But through communication, and here's this word communication again, through communication, I had talked to Chris and Winnie and John and all the AA members, and through a mutual understanding of the Twelve Steps, we had sealed a bond of friendship, because we had something in common. And I said, this young man's done the same thing.
[00:50:00]
He has communicated with the Prince of Peace. And I named this power the Prince of Peace because what I was searching for within myself was peace. I had no peace. And I made a decision right there what I was going to do. And I never talked to the woman about what I came out to talk to her about. I found my answer. It wasn't a hot flash or a spiritual awakening, but I was going to try it. So I said a few pleasant things to her, and she said a few pleasant things to me, and I left. And I went back to my place of business, and I got me a wooden box. I was driving a little town delivery truck, and it had one bucket seat in it, and I got me a wooden box about the half size of this podium, and I put it in this little truck for the Prince of Peace. And as I rode around to my jobs, I talked to the Prince of Peace, just like I'm talking to you. I poured my soul out to him. I talked to him. I told him things that I did under influence of alcohol that I was so ashamed of. Oh, I was ashamed of him. I lived a year in Puerto Rico as a beachcomber. I denied my family. I wasn't even writing my family. I was drunk all year. This is really when I became really addicted to alcohol. I denied my family. I did everything that a person could do negative, and I wouldn't forgive myself for this. And I talked it over with the Prince of Peace, and I don't know how long I practiced this. The time meant nothing, but the better acquainted the Prince of Peace and I got by our communication, the calmer I got, the less restless I was inside. First thing you knew, the football in my stomach started to deflate. And the first thing you know, I was comfortable. I wasn't alone anymore.
I could actually feel the presence of the Prince of Peace. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was there, just through practice, practice, practice. Thank God I found this, because you see, my greatest enemy, and I think all human beings' greatest enemy, is fear. Fear, fear. I can tell you today why this is a spiritual program. It is a spiritual program for the simple reason that founders of this program, through divine guidance, found out that the only way that any human being can rid themselves of this inner fear that you and I, as individuals, only know about, because we don't talk about this to anyone else, is through the spiritual values of life. There is no other way. There is no other way to rid yourself of it. And I found this out the hard way. And the moment that I came to, came to, and it took a long time, it's a long journey between making, between the first and the second step. Did you ever look up the word sober in the dictionary, in an unabridged dictionary? It says not to be under the influence of. It doesn't say alcohol. It doesn't say drugs. It says the influence of. You see, for years in Alcoholics Anonymous, I was still under the influence of my old negative drinking thinking. And so therefore, I wasn't sober. And so therefore, I couldn't be restored to sanity. And so it took me a long time to make that journey between the first and second step until I came to believe I acquired a faith in the God of my understanding, and came to believe that he could restore me to sanity. And after I practiced the second step for a little while, I knew the truth. I knew the truth. Because the third step says, made a decision, and a decision is the truth. It is a fact. It's knowledge. That if I was going to stay sober and be happy in this program, that I had to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand it. And through this faith, I rid myself of fear, because fear is the absence of faith, and faith is the absence of fear. And through this, I got courage to do something I had to do, and that was take the fourth step of Alcoholics Anonymous. And it takes guts to look at yourself exactly the way you are, to face reality for the first time in your life, to look at yourself and not turn your head. It takes guts. I can't look at myself for me. I know, I can see what others will never see, and I know what others will never
[00:55:00]
know. I cannot fool myself. So whatever happens, I've always got to be self-respecting and conscious free. You see, you've got to get in there and look and face reality. All my life I had pretended to be something that I wasn't. And then I came to the point, through a faith in God, that I had to do something about it. And I took the fourth step of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it's not but one man in my life I ever heard put in the words of the diagnosis of my case. And that was Howard Benhoff of Cleveland, Ohio. He's dead now.
And Howard said that he found out that he had gangrene to the soul. And I know no better way to put it. But you know, it was the greatest thing on earth when I learned what my trouble was. Because I became willing to do something about it. I became willing to change myself. I became willing to get new ideas. I became willing to start a new way of life. You've gone to church all your life in Texas in the Bible Belt, and do you know what they mean by being reborn again? This is what the fourth step does. It makes you reborn again. It makes you willing. And you want to, with enthusiasm, is to build a complete new way of life. How can you take something old and make something new with it, and come up with something new?
That's impossible. All of us know this. You know, on that page 58, the bottom of the page, it says we tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the results was nil until we let go absolutely. This is what we've got to do. You see, it ain't our drinking that's stinking, it's our drinking, it's not our, it's our thinking, right up here, right up here. All my trouble's right there, no other place. No other place. And as long as I keep my mental attitude right, I'm all right. I know what God's expecting me today. I know what His will for me is.
My will, His will for me is just to build a better me, that's all. That's all He expects of me. It's all He expects of you. It's for you just to build a better you, but for you to build this, you have to have self-respect. And how can you have self-respect without forgiving yourself for what you've done in the past? It is impossible to have a free conscience otherwise. Because if we are going to get the full benefits of this program, and if we are going to be happy and alcoholics anonymous, we can't have none of that old drinking, stinking, thinking left inside of us. We've got to let go, and the only way that you can do it is through the grace of God. There's no other way. And that's why this is a spiritual program. I have learned this the hard way. I've tried my best not to do it. Damn near killed me. What is the, what is, I was talking to Blue about this last night, what is that little extra ingredient that cotton's got, that these 15, 20, 25-year men have got? What's that little extra ingredient that they've got? I'll tell you what it is.
It's a faith in God. They ain't running scared. That's what it is, a faith in God. You know, the God of my understanding, you know, we use the word love, we use it so much, and we use it in the English language, we, we, we, negative and positive, and in every situation we use the word love, and it's just so distorted in our minds, we can't keep it separated sometimes. It's a shame that we don't have a word to describe in the English language the love of alcoholics anonymous. But we don't have it. The Greeks do have the word, though. The Greek is agape, a-g-a-p-e, I don't know which way you pronounce it, you spell it a-g-a-p-e.
And this word is a specific type of love in Greek, and it means the divine love of God. It's a love that is spontaneous, it's unlimited, and it's unmotivated. And this is what we have in there. Hey, do you remember the time that your sponsor come to see you and you were sick and bent over and couldn't hardly survive, and you didn't think you were going to live? And your sponsor come to see you, and you call him and he come to see you, or she came to see you, and it was something that attracted you to this person? It seemed that this man spontaneously, just spontaneously, nothing that you did or said, but spontaneously you wanted to be a part of this individual because he gave you something.
Part of this individual because he gave you something to believe that he wanted to be part of you. And it seemed as long as you talked with him and long as you were around him that this thing that he had was unlimited.
[01:00:03]
And the most amazing thing about it that he was a drunken wretch and no one wanted anything to do with you. He was an outcast of society. It was nothing about you that would motivate love. But this person loved you. The love that he had was unmotivated. You feel the divine love of God the moment, the very moment, that you want to do something to help yourself. For the first time that you want to be honest with yourself. That love is there. God loves each and every one of us in spite of ourselves.
And you will always find regardless of what you do, regardless of what you do, that if you always look up and say, God, thy will, not my will, that his love will always return. Spontaneous, it will be unlimited, and it will be unmotivated. And this is the type of love that we have in the AA. This is the type that we talk about. Acape. It's a beautiful thing. Well, you know, you would think, you would think that I was getting along fine.
Well, you know, I've talked here for 45 minutes about Wesley Parish. And you know, I haven't said a word about you. You know that? You know, I was getting along fine in the AA, 7 to 10 years is the worst time in any man's history in the AA in his life, the 7 to 10 years. Because you're getting along fine, you built a new home, you got a new automobile, all debts are paid, and you're riding high, you love, your wife will sleep with you.
And everything is hunk-a-dory, you know? Everything is hunk-a-dory. This is the most dangerous time in the AA. And you're sponsoring, you got pigeons everywhere, and you're washing them, and you're selfish with them, you're like an old brood hen, you know, trying to take care of your biddies. And you become a human being again. The first thing you know, you'll find yourself looking at one of your pigeons, as I called them back in them days, and I'd see him talk to a personality that I didn't particularly like. He didn't have the quality that I had.
And you'd wait till he got through, you'd at least give him that courtesy. And he, you'd call him over. You'd say, what are you talking to him about? And he'd tell you, he'd say, now, is this boring you? He'd say, yeah. He'd say, well, who's guided you so far? And you're staying sober, and he'd have to say, you have, you know, talking to me. He'd say, you have, Wesley. I'd say, well, why are you running around talking to him about things like that? I'd say, how long have you been sober?
He'd been sober two years. I'd say, how long have I been sober? Well, who's got the answer? If you're going to make this grave, buddy, you better be careful. It's time to start thinking. Using that old head, think, think, think. You come to see me about those things. Well, you know, I started carrying this home with me, too. And, you know, I was, you see, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, you either go forward or you go backward. There's no such thing as standing still. You either grow or you got to go, one of the two.
This is the truth. So one day I picked up the grapevine. You know, I love the grapevine. You know, I never make an, I don't make a grapevine pitch joke. I never make a talk without a grapevine. You know why? Because it's got the complete AA history in it, the program. It's got the 12 steps. It's got the 12 traditions. It's got the preamble. It's got I'm responsible, and it's got the surrender prayer.
So anybody can always make a pitch, talk with some complete confidence that they have a grapevine in their hands. If you never use it for nothing else, it's worth that. It gives you comfort because you know you got it. Well, I was carrying this stuff home, and I looked in the calendar of the grapevine, and I noticed where they had a convention in North Carolina. And I'd never been to a convention, and so I decided I'd go, and I told Rena, I said, Rena, I'd like you in North Carolina to a convention.
And she said, do you think it'll help you? And I said, I think it will. She said, well, go. So I went to this convention, and a young man from New York got up. I don't know who he was, and I wish I did know, but I don't. He got up there, and he kept using the word over and over and over and over and over. And this word was intelligentsia, intelligentsia, intelligentsia, intelligentsia. And so that's the only thing I heard on that whole convention.
And I carried this word home with me, intelligentsia.
[01:05:02]
And old Dutch Whitney, who was a Methodist preacher up in Virginia, used to say, well, you don't pronounce it right, Wesley. I said, that don't make a difference. I said, I can't spell it either, so what difference does it make? I said, I know what it means. It means a damn know-it-all. I had become a damn know-it-all in Alcoholics Anonymous. You see, it was nothing else for me to learn. I had recovered.
You know, you can recover in this program until you get sick all over again. Did you know that? You can get completely selfish. And so this is what I had become, an intelligentsia. And so I was sick. And I said to myself, well, the Founders, this is a divine program. The Founders must have put something in this program somewhere to help me. And so by chance one day I picked up a great vine, and there was the Twelve Traditions.
And I said, well, I've never done anything with these Twelve Traditions. I'd never heard them, wrote them a group. My group just don't have nothing to do with Twelve Traditions. I said, I wonder what part of my life they could become. And I read them, and I said, well, they're made for the group. And I read the Twelve Steps, and I said, well, that's we. We and a group. What's the difference between we and a group?
And I started thinking about the Twelve Steps. I said, well, I practice the Twelve Steps at the eye level. I never have heard anybody discuss them at the we level. And I said, why can't I do the same thing with the Twelve Traditions? And I said, well, they are made for the groups. I said, what is the difference between we and a group? And I said, I read somewhere in the big book, in the Prefixes, where it says it only takes two members to have a meeting or a group.
It takes two people to make a group in Alcoholics Anonymous. So we and a group is the same. That's all it says to it. Tom Lovering says, all it takes to start a group in Alcoholics Anonymous is two resentments and a dozen doughnuts, and I'll have to agree with him. So you see, we and a group is the same. We all have to agree on that. Well, if this is to be true, then why shouldn't I apply the Twelve Traditions to my everyday life like I apply the Twelve Steps?
Why shouldn't I not only learn to live with myself, but why shouldn't I learn to live with you? How about that? Huh? With complete comfort. And so I started using them along with the Twelve Steps in my everyday living. And you know, New Avenues, things have opened up to me beyond my fondest dreams. And I want to read a couple of them with you and explain them to you as I use them in my everyday life.
And maybe this would mean something to you. It goes like this, and I'm not trying to change that aid program. I'm just helping Wesley Ferris as an individual, as you've got to help yourself as an individual. My common welfare comes first. Me staying sober is my biggest business, and if anything bothers me, get away from it. Staying sober is the number one thing. My personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity.
My personal recovery depends upon me living in unity with you, not you living in unity with me. Uh-uh. That has nothing to do with it. If I want to be happy, if I want to be happy, I've got to love you whether you love me or not. It's just that way. The greatest teacher on earth says, What is it to love those who love you? That's nothing. But to love those who hate you is something. Did you ever stop to think about it?
Try to live this way a day. Try to live it. You know, if you want to be unhappy, all you have to do is have two personalities clash. You know? It takes two to tango. So if one personality won't clash with another, then you don't have the clash. And this is what has meant so much to me. Love. This is true love. It's me loving you and not expecting you to love me. This is a wonderful way to look at it.
And this is what the twelve traditions teach us. I have but one ultimate authority. This God of mine which is spontaneous, unlimited, and unmotivated. This is my ultimate authority. A loving God as he expresses himself in my conscience. Right here. By mental attitude. I mess it up every day and I always have to go back to God and say, God help me straighten it out. He immediately does. This is through practice, practice.
And the more I practice, the more I use God as my ultimate authority. The more I receive his love and his understanding. This teaches me to thank God. If I want to know God, I have to thank God. And so I have to use him as my ultimate authority. I'm but a trusted servant. I do not govern. I have done everything in a group
[01:10:01]
that can cause all the chaos that can be caused. You'll believe me when I say that. I've been a governor. I've been a leading deacon. I've been everything. I have operated everything in alcoholics. Only one job I have held and that I have never been a trustee. But from a GSR straight through to a chairman of an international convention. And I have to remain a servant. I did it because I was asked to do it.
Because it was my responsibility to do it. I do not govern. And if we follow these twelve traditions of alcoholics knowledge, but what happens? Our groups get all torn apart and all of a sudden somebody yells, let's bring out the twelve traditions. That's too late because everybody's chosen sides and the politics is set in. And the interpretation. And each side will have their own interpretation. It's too late.
Too late. The only requirement for any membership is a desire to stop drinking. See, every day I join Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't have a desire to take a drink today, so I join you wonderful people. And I should allow you the same privilege of every day that you want to quit drinking. That's your business. That's your business. I should never say, he'll never make it. He don't have what it takes.
He's got too much education or he hasn't got enough. You know, I like to tell the story of my first 12-step call. We went up to this guy. He was laying on the bed. He was about this high and he was about that big around, all bloated up. And he wore real thick glasses. They were laying over on the table there. And we had to take him to the restroom right away. And we worked with this guy three weeks.
The doctor says we couldn't save him, but we did. We went through DTs and everything else with him. Finally, he got coherent enough to talk. We found out that he was an alcoholic. He was a drug addict. He was a sex maniac and belonged to the Lonely Hearts Society. Now, this was one guy that would never make it. And we had a time. This woman that run this restaurant felt so sorry for him that she let him stay and fed him and got him back in health.
And he fell in love with her. And he wanted to go to bed with her and she wouldn't. And so he got a butcher knife after her. And it just got all messed up, you know. And he got drunk and he went off to Atlanta and he married a Lonely Hearts Society gal and he gave Atlanta a fit. And he come back to Miami and he got rid of that one in Atlanta. And he come back to Miami and he did the same thing in Miami.
And finally, he disappeared. Now, if there was one man that would never become a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, it was this guy. He just didn't have it. 1952, I was out in San Francisco. That's a long ways from Pomona Beach to San Francisco. And I was talking to a man by the name of White. He says, you know, he says, I was the best man for a guy of the day from South Florida. I says, you were? Who was he?
He says, I don't know, but he was a little fella about this short, big around in the war, real thick glasses. I says, no. How about that? He had been sober two years and the finest day my mother had in San Francisco. So what? Don't ever say he'll never make it. Uh-uh. Who are you to judge? Let God judge that. If you want to get some tolerance, this is the best way in the world I know how to get tolerance.
I should always be autonomous. Stand on my own two feet. Be self-supporting. Not go along with the crowd just because at that particular moment it would be convenient or would make me look better in society. I should always be autonomous. Stand on your own two feet. Don't be guided. Because if you're guided and you know right from wrong, you're like me if you're an alcoholic. Hell, I've got a doctor's education in negative thinking.
I can out think like any normal person. And so, you know, I know right from wrong. So I've got to be autonomous with my mind. I have to say that's not right and I don't go along with it. I'm in the minority. And it really has proved that the minority is right more often than the majority. And don't you ever kid yourself. We used to have a sign hanging in the little club room we had and it said this.
Now listen real close. Anything just about right is wrong. You get it? Yes. Let me repeat it again. Anything just about right is wrong. Don't put that feeling
[01:15:00]
back inside. Don't get uncomfortable because if you do something against what you know is right, you are the one that's going to have to pay the penalty for it, and it's going to destroy the very happiness that you've tried to acquire in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Be autonomous. Be a whole individual. I'm going to one more and then I'm going to two more and then I'm going to shut up. Every AA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. You'll say, well, what in the world does that have to do with being happy? Well, it's no man or woman can be happy unless they meet their responsibilities. That's all. And so, therefore, we have to support AA because we are AA, and we decline all outside contributions. And I like to illustrate this. When I first came in AA, there was a millionaire who used to sit right next to me on the front row. God bless him, he was a fine AA. And every time that basket went by him, he'd reach in his pocket and get out that little black purse about that wide and about that high and have a snap on it, you know. And when it snapped, everybody could hear it. And he'd get in there and he'd run his finger around until he'd find the Texas half. You know what a Texas half is? That's a dime. And that basket would go by and he'd drop that dime in it. And you know what I'd say? I'd say, that tight son of a bitch. If he can't put but a dime in there, I ain't going to put nothing. I'm going to ask you a simple question. Who was I hurting? Who was I hurting? That's the point. I was hurting me. Because, you see, I wasn't meeting my responsibility. You know, the greatest time of the year for me is Christmas time.
Every year I have a bank call me up at home now, after being in AA for a while, they speak to me, and they'll say, Wesley, we're going to cut up the pie. You know, they're very proud of this. And I said, I know what they're talking about, but I act like I don't know. I said, what do you mean cut up the pie? He said, well, you know, instead of us giving Christmas gifts to our customers, we put it all in one pot and then we give it to our favorite charities. And I said, well, isn't that nice? Isn't that nice? So thoughtful.
Well, what can I do for you? He says, well, you boys and alcoholics are not only have done such a terrific job this year, we want to give you slices of pie. My chest spreads out and I said, I'm sorry, sir, we don't take outside contributions. We are totally self-supporting. You know, the most wonderful time in my life is around Christmas when I can tell a banker I don't want none of his damn money. Isn't that wonderful? And as long as we support Alcoholics Anonymous, as it says, it's ours. But the minute that we let go of this, we have lost control. Don't you ever forget this. In your group, meet your responsibility. See that your group does what it's supposed to do. Be part of your group and join a group. Be part of that group and be sure that it's self-supporting through the membership's contributions. Because this is the way you be happy is by meeting your responsibilities. The last one is number five. Each group has but one primary purpose, to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. I've talked to you this morning.
Do you still think that I suffer from the disease of alcoholism? You're damn right I do. Every day of my life I still suffer from the disease of alcoholism. And I'm here at Cedar Glen today for my medicine for my disease. I ask you the question, do you still suffer from the disease of alcoholism? Do you? Do you have to answer that? Are you here for your medicine? Well, this tradition says this, to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. You know, this tradition tells me that every time I see you I have to 12-step you and it's your responsibility every time you see me is to 12-step me. Because I still suffer from the disease of alcoholism. I still need your help. There's no such thing as having it made in Alcoholics Anonymous. You see, this is the longevity of Alcoholics Anonymous is the love that we show to each other. It is the only business on the face of the earth that pays more attention to its new customers than it does its old customers.
A normal business would be bankrupt in no time. The most important man in the room is not the newcomer. The most important man in the room is the most disturbed man in the room. And sometimes that is an individual that's 20, 25 years old and never kid yourself
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at Alcoholics Anonymous. These men and women sometimes are shove-outs, left-outs, drop-outs or whatever you might call it, because they have just the same troubles that you have. They have growing pains just like you have. And they have living pains just like you have and they need the same love and understanding as the newcomer needs. Everybody needs love. They say sometimes, where is the old-timer? Ask yourself that and go back to the fifth step of Alcoholics Anonymous and take your own inventory as to what has happened to the old-timers in your neighborhood. This is so important for the longevity. We need old-timers.
A newcomer don't stand a chance unless he's got good teachers. And the old-timers are the teachers of AA. And we shouldn't, and we just shouldn't put them out on a pension. We should hold on to them and keep them to the best of our ability and shower them with love and understanding like we shower everyone else with. This is so important. You know, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I could go on and on and on. It's all here. For us as individuals to teach our own individual selves, to apply, we have to learn, we have to stay teachable if we're going to be. We've got to show progress every day. We have to take the whole of AA, not only the 12 steps. That's the recovery. That's only taught me to understand me. The 12 steps has taught me to understand you, to live with you. And combining these two, then it puts me fully qualified to the render of the service that is necessary to me, to render to my fellow alcoholic, and to my country, and to my fellow man. This is a total program. Thank you.