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Source: Art G – Chair Remarks – 24th Southeastern Convention – Charlotte (August 15, 1968) – 1968-08-15.mp3 File: art-g-chair-remarks-24th-southeastern-convention-charlotte-august-15-1968-1968-08-15.mp3 Duration: 00:09:31
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Welcome again to the third meeting of the convention and hope you're enjoying it. Let us hear if you are enjoying it. Applause This committee over there likes to hear that. They like that. My name is Manuel B. and I'm an alcoholic. I will now read the opening remarks. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership. We are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution, does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
Our anonymity, like our sobriety, is a treasured possession. We ask the help of our guests, especially those representing the press or broadcasting media, in protecting the anonymity of all alcoholics present or mentioned here today. We hope you hear something at this meeting which you can take away with you and use. We respectfully request, however, that you eliminate any mention of names in reference to members of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Mr. Chairman, wives and husbands of members of Al-Anon, my name's Pete W., and I'm an alcoholic, and I can give you a qualification in ten seconds. It's all around bottles. First, the milk bottle. That's what it used to be like. What happened? The whiskey bottle. Now, Geritol. I've just got to tell you one short, cute story, because it's one of the cutest, typical drunk stories I've heard, and I just heard it a month ago, and maybe it's gotten here, but I don't know.
But anyhow, a drunk rushes into a very sophisticated bar, and he walks up to the bartender and he says, I want a damn double bourbon, and he says, I want it in a hurry. The bartender says, my good man, he says, ladies are present, we don't use this kind of language. The drunk says, you heard me, I want a damn double bourbon, and damn it all, I want it in a hurry. The bartender says, shh, shh, shh. He says, let me show you how you should ask for this.
You come back here and be the bartender, and I'll be you. So they traded places. The bartender goes up to the drunk and he says, my good man, might please have a double bourbon. The drunk looked at him and he says, you can go to hell, you wouldn't give me one a little while ago. Well, I'm very grateful for this few minutes to tell you about next year's Southeastern Conference, and it's coming to Tennessee.
And I want to give you a most gracious welcome. And if you've never been to Chattanooga, where it will be held, it's one of the garden spots of the United States. When we moved to that part of the country about eight and a half years ago, I think my wife expressed it adequately, and she said, this is just like living in vacation land. And it is that. Now, we have a table upstairs. There's a lot of literature.
There's so many wonderful things to see. I want you and earnestly urge you to pick up some of this literature and read about it. Please don't do like the smart aleck that walked into the blacksmith's shop, and he picked up a shoe and he slung it away, and the blacksmith says, pretty hot, wasn't it? No, he says, this doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe. So pick it up and read it. This has been a wonderful convention so far, and I know you've set a goal that we're going to do our best to meet and surpass.
[00:05:03]
And again, many thanks for listening to me, and God bless you, and let's see you in Tennessee next year. Thank you. And we all hope to be in Chattanooga next year. You know, he's two drunks under the bridge spending the evening sleeping it off, and they woke up sometime in the morning, and one drunk said to the other, I don't think I rested too well last night. He says, what was the trouble? He says, I just dreamed and dreamed and dreamed.
The other drunk said, I did the same thing. I was dreaming. So one drunk says to the other, what did you dream about? He says, by golly, he says, I dreamed that somebody gave me $100, and I went to Disneyland, and I rode all these things. I had a big time. I bought teddy bears. I was really enjoying myself and had a ball. And then he said, what did you dream about? He says, well, I dreamed about that I was at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel, and I was in my glory in the penthouse there.
And he says, there was booze of all labels. And he says, then somebody knocked on the door, and I opened it up, and there was two gorgeous ladies in the nude. And about that time, the other drunk says, why didn't you call me? He says, hell, I did, but your mother said you were at Disneyland. Now we'll get down to serious business. Your chairman for the evening is Pete W. from the great volunteer state of Tennessee.
Am I right? Huh? Bye, Archie. So excited that I was wondering why he didn't call me, and I got the wrong man. That's the best excuse I got. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But that's nothing new. I never did. That's all right. That's all right. We had him, didn't we? He was pretty good, wasn't he? My face red. This is an 8 o'clock meeting. I forgot. We've got a speaker. We've also got a chairman.
And the chairman is Art G. from the Dominion State of Virginia. Hi, everybody. Any more excitement like that, I'm going to go home. My name is Art, and I'm an alcoholic. My home group is the Dominion Group in Richmond, Virginia. I bring greetings from my fellow members of that group and want to express to all of you the real privilege and pleasure I have in being here this evening. May I take a moment, in keeping with our policy at all of our meetings, to read the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous.
You have a very brave conference committee, choosing emcees or chairmen for the various evenings. I say that because here we have an alcoholic Baptist minister, a microphone, and some 1,100 people present. And Dave C. has the audacity to remind me that if we'd wanted you to talk, we'd have asked you.