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Source: Lois W – The Twelve Traditions 1960 – Date Unknown.mp3 File: lois-w-the-twelve-traditions-1960-date-unknown.mp3 Duration: 00:33:56
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Hi, everybody. You know, the Twelve Traditions are really kind of a stumbling block, I think, for a lot of us. I thought I'd tell you a little how they came to be, and then read through them from the book. Because the limited time that we have here to get through the Twelve, I'm sure I'd digress and get way off the matter if I didn't read them. And we've just written them in our new book, the new Al-Anon book, which is called Living With an Alcoholic.
And I hope you will all also look at them and read them, those of you who have a book. If you haven't a book, please get one. In the early days of the AA, there were no traditions, of course. In fact, in the very early days, there were even no steps. In the old Oxford group, where Bill and Ebony went to meetings, they had certain principles. And these were about six principles. And they were just word of mouth.
They passed them on to each other. But then in 1939, Bill and all the AA groups thought they needed a book. They needed to put down their experience. So, other drunks that couldn't make personal contact could read about this wonderful thing that had happened to them. So, then when he wrote them down, he found they put down twelve. He didn't want to leave any gaps for the drunks to fall through. So, there were twelve of them.
And then, in the early days, they had a little office in New York. First, the office actually wasn't in New York. It was in Newark, where the man that was helping Bill had a business office. They used a business secretary and all the equipment. And this little secretary, Ruth Coppers, one of the physicians at AA, she was a wonderful gal. In fact, she worked without pay for a very, very long time. Well, there were so many questions coming in all the time from individuals.
And then, as the groups grew over the country, from groups. And it required so much correspondence. And the same questions came from other groups. The groups, in other words, seemed to have the same kind of a problem. But eventually, from this experience, the AAs, and Bill taking a little leadership in it, the AAs worked out these twelve traditions that groups could have as a guide for their conduct.
The individual had the twelve steps, but the group then had the twelve traditions. It settled all kinds of matters about relations with other groups, with the public, about anonymity, and all kinds of things. So when, fortunately, Al-Anon came into being, we had the twelve traditions all set up for us. In fact, that's been our experience right from the beginning. We've grown so fast primarily because we've just followed AA's footsteps.
We had the whole formation of Al-Anon handed to us on a platter. So although it's very, very thrilling that we have grown so fast, as I said, I think, yesterday here, that we had 700 groups at the time of the St. Louis Convention. And now we report 1,400 groups, which is really a very tremendous growth in four years. But if we hadn't had a pattern to go back, I'm sure we wouldn't have gotten anywhere near the growth that we have now.
And a lot of groups are becoming, really, quite tradition-conscious. And I think that's a very wonderful thing. It saves a lot of headaches inside the group, and it saves a lot of friction with outside people and with other groups.
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It saves a lot of unnecessary correspondence to headquarters to ask about this thing or that thing. We just love Dallin, New York, to have you write us about this and that and the other thing. But if you don't need to, if you can solve it yourself, it's better for your group, really, to work it out, to think about it and to work it out for yourself. We always stand ready to help and advise, so don't get me wrong on that.
So, I thought I'd read you these steps, these traditions, rather. The tradition one is our common welfare should come first. Personal progress, for the greatest number, depends upon unity. Unity presents not only the necessary climate for growth of Alanana as a whole, but also the atmosphere in which each member within the group may acquire peace of mind. As one member put it, my own emotional recovery, one of my most valued possessions, since it means sanity and well-being to me personally, depends on unity.
Unity at headquarters, unity at OA, and Alanana in my district, and unity in my own group. Last but not least, it depends upon unity and integrity within myself, in mind, body, and spirit. This tradition does not imply that each member should be submerged by the group, and not think and speak and act as an individual. Probably nowhere is there greater freedom of belief and action than in AA and Alanana.
But the tradition does imply that unless the group survives, many individuals will not recover. When this realization comes, members become willing to control their speech and actions so as not to injure other members and to make sacrifices for the preservation of the group. Occasionally, a whole group is disrupted by an unthinking member who wants to run the group her way regardless of how others feel, or by an inconsiderate person who talks all the time, airing private feelings and grievances.
The entire group thus may suffer from one member's self-indulgence until she begins to practice Tradition 1. Tradition 2. For our group prayer to serve but one authority, loving God who may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants. They do not govern. In Alanana, there is an intentional absence of personal power or authority. Just as individual members turn to a higher power for individual guidance, so groups rely on the authority of God as expressed through the group conscience.
Newcomers frequently ask, How can our fellowship function without some human authority? How does God express himself in group conscience? And what is a group conscience anyway? Since the whole purpose of Alanana is spiritual growth, the forms of governance found in most organizations are unnecessary. Members are drawn together by their common suffering, and this identity of experience levels differences or stations of life.
Background education, religious or political beliefs, color, race, or age. No member is different or more important than the next. When a group needs to solve a serious problem, it naturally becomes as well-informed on the subject as possible, then discusses it from all angles. Together the members seek to be guided by a higher power in rooting a decision which will be good for the group as a whole, rather than for any one member or clique.
This decision is an expression of the group conscience, and it is usually wiser than any one leader's conclusions, especially if the leader is testing a bit for pet ideas. Groups do have leaders, but they do not exercise authority. In starting a group, older and more experienced members unquestionably have to guide and attend most of the chores. But once the group is established, the early leaders wisely retire to the sidelines where they can be consulted, but where they will not interfere with the principle of rotation of office.
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The sharing of responsibilities by all members promotes the effective development of the group conscience. The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon family group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. The faith tradition gives Al-Anon an informal charter, and ensures its simpleness of purpose.
If the group, as such, had other loyalties, its purpose would surely become divided. Anyone who has a relative or friend with an alcoholic problem may join Al-Anon simply by expressing such a desire to a member. No one can be denied membership, no matter how grave the personal complications or past actions of the individual. Although the tradition seems simple and easy to understand, questions often arise concerning membership.
Can a wife belong to Al-Anon after her husband has a slip in AA? Could two wives become members, the divorced and the present wife of the same alcoholic? Could a questionable character be admitted to membership? Can the alcoholic wife of an alcoholic join Al-Anon? Can the widow of an alcoholic become an Al-Anon member? Is a mother eligible for membership if her son will not join AA? The same answer applies to all these questions.
The sole qualification for membership is that the relative or friend has an alcoholic problem. Tradition 4. Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-Anon and AA as a whole. Each Al-Anon group can manage its internal affairs exactly as it pleases, except when to do so might affect other groups or Al-Anon and AA as a whole. Other groups should not only be considerate of neighboring groups, consulting them about any proposed area or activity, but should do nothing to harm the fellowships of either Al-Anon or AA.
When one group disregards the traditions by indulging in idle gossip, ill-considered ballyhoo, and promotion, lack of anonymity, or public solicitation of funds, the reputation of Al-Anon and even AA suffers. The most obvious example is the breaking of anonymity at the public level. It is easy to see what would happen if an Al-Anon group allowed itself to do this. The public would lose confidence and prospective Al-Anon members would back away, not only from this group, but from other Al-Anon groups.
AA as well would be adversely affected. The breaking of the other traditions, although not a staggering example, would have similar ill results. Therefore, each group has a right to be wrong, but not at the expense of other groups, nor in matters that might harm the unity of the whole. Tradition 5. Each Al-Anon group has but one purpose, to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the 12 steps of AA ourselves, by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics.
We cannot give away what we do not have, and so we help others by first helping ourselves. We do this by practicing the 12 steps in all our affairs. It is a lifetime job, and cannot be done in one or two attempts, and then set aside as an accomplished job. Relief from some of our frustrations, however, often comes immediately after a start is made. By striving to live closer and closer to these principles, we gain greater and greater peace, healing, and usefulness to others.
The next way we help is by learning as much as possible about the illness of alcoholism, and by putting this knowledge into practice in our own homes. Going to AA meetings gives us greater understanding of the alcoholic's problems, as well as reading some of the many books on the subject, particularly the basic book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Learning how to live in some degree of peace with ourselves, even in a home where there is an active problem, aids us in our demonstration to others.
The way we help is by enabling newcomers to realize that they no longer are alone, that
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we understand their problems as few can, because we've had the same or similar experiences. We recognize their need to discuss their fears and difficulties, and we encourage them to believe that their situation can be improved and their unhappiness overcome. As a group, we do not provide money, clothes, or food, or get jobs for alcoholic families, although individual members do as much of this as they choose.
Our singular purpose might become divided if we entered social welfare or the charity field. Our help is educational, psychological, and spiritual, written through example and understanding, and not through preaching. So this is six. Our family groups ought never to endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige derail us from our primary spiritual aim.
Although a separate entity, we should always cooperate with alcoholics and others. Our lives have been so deeply affected by alcoholism that sometimes we want to tackle this huge problem from every side, by supporting or running hospitals and drying out places, by changing laws about selling liquor, by preventing so many and so attractive advertisements about alcohol, by putting on educational programs about its evils, and so forth.
Any Alanon member is at perfect liberty to join these efforts if he or she chooses, but an Alanon group, as such, should never undertake such enterprises or lend its moral and financial support to those who do. We cannot thus divide our work, but should keep our attention focused on our own program. Before the importance of Condition 6 was well understood, a group wanted to do something definite about reducing the great amount of liquor advertising.
They said that most of their husbands were new in L.A., and that so much attractive liquor advertising made it particularly hard for them to stay away from the fresh drinks. One could go nowhere, they said, or even stay home and listen to the radio or look at television without being constantly reminded of the pleasures of drinking. These wives felt that Alanon as a whole should make a protest to advertising firms and liquor companies.
When this tradition was pointed out to them, however, they saw its reasonableness. A few of the wives, as individual citizens, did join a campaign to reduce the liquor advertising in their state, but the group, as such, did not participate in this undertaking. While we are a separate entity from Alcoholics Anonymous, we could not be functioning today without it. We have drawn from its experience, its steps, and its traditions.
Our meetings are held in the same manner, and the structures of our fellowships are similar. L.A. has generously given us its help and support toward the growth of Alanon. We are grateful to A.A. and always willing to cooperate with us in every way possible. Tradition 7. Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. Why should a group refuse donations from some interested outsider?
Most societies are very glad to receive such help. Early experience here, as with other traditions, has been the teacher. In the first place, a group has very little needed money. Trusts can also grant refreshments, lights, contributions to national and local service centers, such as Alanon headquarters and the local intergroup association or council. Any considerable amount of both these requirements might be a temptation to other fields, thus inviting unnecessary argument and dissension.
In the next place, if headquarters were to receive large outside donations, the whole fabric of Alanon's interrelationships would be changed. Headquarters, not needing the group's support, might be tempted to act in an insolidating way instead of serving the groups and reflecting their experience as it does now. The groups themselves, since the headquarters had enough money, might no longer feel responsible to it and might drift away on their own.
Furthermore, strings are often now attached to large outside donations. It is only true that pressed strings frequently lead to other strings, which sometimes turn into ropes. Alanon might become bound to an outside policy and so lose its freedom.
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An instance of how an outside gift of money or its equivalent results in pressure of one kind or another follows. A group secured a meeting place in a church building. They offered to pay a small rental for the use of the room, but the minister said he was glad to let such a brave society use it to its heart's content. For every single moving, the minister gave a long religious talk. The group couldn't object because of his generosity in giving them the use of the room.
Although some of the older members received much benefit from the sermons, new members were only confused by them and didn't come back a second time. The purpose of the group was being lost. Finally, they had to move to quarters where they paid rent. Following a fellowship, it has become clear that the simple way is the best. Accept no outside contributions, large or small. Alanon Trust's step rope should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
There are many paid workers in the fields of welfare, religion, and medicine who tend to much service to the families of alcoholics. But there is a special taste for help given by one who has experienced the same suffering and who knows from the inside what the other's feelings and problems must be. This identification, as we call it in AA and Alanon, brings a warm blow of assurance to the newcomer.
He knows he is no longer alone with a problem, that he is understood. There is nothing quite like the camaraderie so engendered. What if this were paid for? Much of its spontaneity, much of its neutrality, and most of its value to the helper would be lost. Truly, in giving we receive. The helper, perhaps herself a newcomer, who is depressed and low because of her feeling of her failure to aid her alcoholic husband, receives a great lift when she recognizes that here at the field, her own hard experience can be uniquely useful.
With deep satisfaction and gratitude, she tells the newcomer, both Chelsea herself has been helped, how her own changed attitudes have relieved her tensions, how she has begun to hope. A new member is sometimes so grateful for what she has received in Alanon that she wants to give her sponsor a lovely gift. The sponsor, without being ungracious, can explain to the newcomer that obligation in Alanon reaches forward, not backward.
The seeker best pays for her own improved outlook by helping newer members to improve theirs. That's the non-professional trust step, as the latter by which members help each other to climb into the light. But our Alanon service centers, which spread the knowledge of our program throughout the area, country, or world, do need regular office personnel. Experience has shown us that these workers should be paid at as near the going rate as possible for the positions they hold, even though they may be Alanon members.
A member's personal knowledge of Alanon is a great value in such an office, but she is paid for her office work only, not for her Alanon work. Tradition 9. Our groups, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service centers or committees directly responsible to those they serve. When newcomers are told that Alanon has no organization, no president for the files it governs, no treasurer who can compel payment of dues, and no board of directors who can oust members, when they learn that no Alanon member is in a position to give another a directive or to enforce obedience, they are astonished.
Reinforcement is not needing much organization. Too much personal authority tends to stifle an enthusiastic response to Alanon principles. It was from experiences such as the following that we learned the wisdom of this tradition. A member of one of the early Alanon centers moved to a new town where she started an Alanon group. Because there was no literature as yet and no other group in the area, this member set herself up as the sole authority on Alanon.
She told her group just what they should do and how they should do it, and who should belong. The group, grateful for our help and not knowing anything about the Alanon tradition, accepted her president for a period of two years. But they soon tired of our constant directions and our authoritative attitude.
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Then a traveler from a distant group arrived with news that the Alanon tradition suggested that no group be organized on the basis of personal authority. The president, feeling he would owe her loyalty for all she had done for them, refused to resign. So the group simply reformed itself without her. A group is usually set up with a chairman who conducts the meetings, a secretary who keeps the others informed on current Alanon events, and a treasurer who tends to the voluntary contributors.
These positions give some form and shape to the meetings. And since the locating system is invariably employed, no one person stays long in any position and all have a chance to take responsibility. Our service centers or communities have a minimum of internal organization, but they must have enough to operate effectively. Headquarters and a few centers are incorporated in order to carry on their business more efficiently.
They have no authority over the groups and they function as trusted servants, answering inquiries, helping groups with their problems, handling overall public relations, and publishing literature. But as a spiritual entity, Alanon has no organization whatever. Tradition 10. The Alanon family groups have no opinion on outside issues. Hence, our name ought never be drawn into public controversy. This tradition is another precautionary principle to preserve Alanon's unity.
It goes further than Tradition 6 and its warnings. It suggests that Alanon and such ought not to express opinions on the issues of the day, such as segregation, temperance, or any other public question. Our thousands of members are people of different race and color, with different creeds, politics, and viewpoints. If we were to take sides on any of these public issues, we would surely be divided within.
Our Alanon family group's name and a free, unbiased, uncontroversial atmosphere and books to develop belong to all. Though an Alanon group were to take up the cudgel for the improvement of such universally regretted situations as juvenile delinquency, this might also divide us. Another group might disagree with the first group's ideas on how this condition could be remedied. Even if the resulting controversy did not reach the public level, it would separate and divide us.
Fortunately, within the Tradition, Alanon is able to take part in the alleviation of juvenile delinquency through the Alekhine groups. This fact clearly points out the well-known truth that the best and surest way to improve the moral tone of a bad situation, public or personal, is by example. Each member of Alanon, in trying to live by Alanon's Twelve Steps, is doing a small but positive part toward raising the level of the whole.
Tradition 11. A public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. Individuals maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, and film. As said, an early promotion-minded alcoholic, Valley Hood AA, and himself on the radio, then got drunk. Attraction and promotion are different approaches to the same end. Public information. The difference between them is a matter not only of degree but of kind.
Attraction implies the quality of humility. This is well exemplified by Alanon anonymity at the public level, which means that we place principles before personalities. On the other hand, promotion often connotes certain high-pressure methods of aggressive selling and self-interested persuasion. In addition to the anonymity at the public level of press, radio, films, and TV, which Alanon suggests, anonymity as a personal, family matter should be considered.
Since the policy of anonymity arose originally to protect new AAs from the stigma of alcoholism, it is up to the Alanon member to respect the alcoholic mate's choice in the matter. When he wishes to draw the line among friends, family, church, community, there is where she too should draw it. Personal situations and the alcoholic's length of sobriety in AA may change this line from time to time. The Alanon member whose alcoholic is still drinking or is dry but not an AA should protect his anonymity with special care because the former is even more sensitive than a sober alcoholic and the latter has not the satisfaction of membership in AA.
of Membership in AA, A Recital in Meetings of the Alcoholic's Escapades, or His Personal
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Treatment of His Wife, Should Be Avoided. Tradition 12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities. Fortunately, it was recognized early that the experiences of Alcoholics Anonymous as set down in the Steps and Traditions were spiritual principles which Al-Anon could use equally well. But long before that, when there were less than a hundred Alcoholics in AA, over-eager enthusiasts sounded bad tidings of one another's recovery, telling too much too publicly. The result often was a violation of the newcomer's privacy. So, the principle of anonymity was first instituted as a protection for the new AA member. Then, by degrees, its spiritual substance was recognized.
Principles became more important than personalities. Now, although Al-Anon members may at first practice anonymity for the protection of their partners, they soon find that anonymity is real humility at work. It is a spiritual sacrifice, the willingness to give up personal desires for the sake of the group, the helping of others without pay or personal glory. It is an all-pervading spiritual quality which keynotes AA and Al-Anon everywhere. In this tradition, all the others are contained. Each of us takes part in weaving the protective mantle of anonymity that covers our whole society, and under which we may grow in rich immunity. Thank you.
Thank you, Louis, so very much. I don't know whether in this section you're as guilty as we are in Georgia, but we concentrate so thoroughly on the 12 steps of recovery. We want to get our Alcoholics sober, but I sometimes think we push the traditions back a little. But, certainly, that is the way in which the groups operate. I want to thank the committee for letting me be a part of this program today. To me, participation in the fellowship of AA is a very vital part. When you become a part of anything, it certainly means a lot. I, as a non-Alcoholic, now have a home. As a wife of a sober Alcoholic, now have a home instead of a house. I have rich, abundant, full living on a 24-hour basis instead of all that confusion and despair that went on for many, many years. I'm with people who understand me and my problem, and I have learned to live with an Alcoholic, even though he be sober.
I think the greatest thing that I have gotten out of my association with the fellowship of AA is gratitude. And to me, that's a warm, emotional feeling for a favor that I've received, and that favor is certainly my husband's sobriety and my new way of life. In closing, I would like to leave you with this little thought. Keep your friends in your heart and not on your tongue. Will you join me in the Lord's Prayer?
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.