Recording note: Historical Al-Anon questions and answers on group organization, Alateen, rotating leadership and family recovery, with Lois W. and other participants. The source labels Hotel Astor, New York, 1958; the exact date is unconfirmed. Complete surviving audio is retained in its original sequence, including an apparent interruption during the visiting speaker’s account. Some distant audience speech is unclear and is marked in the transcript and captions.
Audio
Transcript
Source: Al-Anon – Greater New York Intergroup Questions and Answers (Source Label 1958).mp3 File: al-anon-greater-new-york-intergroup-questions-and-answers-source-1958.mp3 Duration: 00:50:23
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Well, I think we ought to now have a question and answer period, and don't all sort of settle back. I mean, really, if there's anything on your mind, I would like to have you ask the question, and the panel here will endeavor to answer it. If not, maybe someone from the floor can give you a constructive answer. We'd like to hear from, especially from anyone here that might be connected with an intergroup or a similar organization somewhere in the country.
Audrey, would you like to say something? I'll start off for you, Sue. We up around Broadway are talking right at the moment on forming an intergroup, and we've had several problems. Mainly, people are saying, why have a constitution? Do you feel in New York that we have to have a constitution to run [unclear]? We definitely have to have a constitution. There are so many, we can go haywire on so many things unless it's really, we have a set of rules to go by, and I think it's very important.
Don't you, Lois? Well, I should think it would be a great help. I don't know that it would be absolutely necessary, but I think it would be a tremendous aid. You see, it guides us in our actions, and especially since you have revolving members on the steering committee. I mean, we start off with a certain group, and then that group changes, you see. It's a revolving steering committee. So unless you have a constitution, you can go haywire.
Do you think so, Mary? Yes, for just that reason that you said, because of the constant change in certain of the guideposts. I know quite a few groups have a constitution, and they find that if they have a set constitution, they can, when new secretaries come in, new chairmen, why, they have a guide to go by. And if we're emulating AA, they don't have constitutions, but traditions really are our guiding fellowship, I think.
Should we be guided by our own traditions? Yes, we should be guided by our traditions, but I also think that having a constitution has helped us a great deal. Are we supposedly following the success of AA and AA doesn't have? Well, I don't know about that. I didn't know. Yes, surely. No, I mentioned I'm familiar with Intergroup, and the Intergroup Association has a constitution. Yeah, well, we are an intergroup.
We're the same, isn't it? In fact, I think we copied our constitution from the Intergroup Association. I should have been on the ball on that. I think we almost [unclear], and as you say, we're copying AA, and then we copied the constitution from Intergroup in New York, too. I understand. The constitution you're talking about applies to the council, not to the individual group. That's right. The constitution we're talking about is a council, for our council.
Yes, well, we have in Toronto, Canada, we have a representative group which is equivalent to a council, and we have set up a code about eight years ago which we worked hard to keep, and then we decided that we'd carry on from here. Any other questions? Is there anyone here that would like to say a few words? You might hear more about the representative group in Toronto. Yes, would you tell us a little more about it, how you operate it?
Well, I'd like to say it's wonderful to know it, because many years ago, when [name unclear] came to Toronto, [unclear] came to our Al-Anon group, and we were very thrilled, and it really gave us the purpose again to go on, and we formed [unclear], and we had a representative group, and the representatives come from each of the groups, and we have [unclear] from each group come to our representative group, and in Toronto, we have 14 groups, so we have 20 members on the representative group, and they all come in, one or two years, one girl goes off each year,
[00:05:01]
another one comes on, so we always get a new one from the group, and [unclear], and we have [unclear] every [unclear] months. They come back to their group, and then the representatives, [unclear], and then we have a service group, we call it, we look after our [unclear], and certainly the same idea about a much smaller scale, and I would like, having been asked by the group, to bring [unclear] from the Toronto group, and [unclear], [unclear], and [unclear] wonderful work [unclear], and it's a privilege to be a part of it.
Thank you very, very much. Thank you. In turn, I want to say that I think the Toronto group are one of the most outstanding and most helpful groups that there is. Everybody that goes up there and visits, they come back so enthusiastic about the wonderful hospitality and the wonderful service in Toronto. Well, we certainly want you to bring back our good wishes for your continued success and good work you're doing.
Any other questions? Would you like to say something? Oh, go ahead. …and work with them, and see what their problems are, and see how we can help them. And I'm hoping also that some of these groups, some of these teams might want to form Alateen groups, in this area, where I found that the Alateen groups are not organized [Speech unclear.] I mean, [unclear] with a special letter that went out, and it was a notice in a newsletter, that I had altogether two calls, and knowing that the Al-Anon group is so active and doing such a wonderful job, I couldn't quite understand what might be the hesitancy on the part of the parents or the teenagers themselves.
And I would be very interested to know whether or not I'm going about it in a way that is not appealing, or what the drawbacks might be, so that I might be able to do a better job at this. Now, I would be very pleased if anyone was giving any suggestions of what I might do that would be a better approach to get these teenagers together. [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] And, [name unclear], would you mind standing up so we can all hear what you have to say?
I think it would be helpful. [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] And I think we should know about it. [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] And I have a [unclear] daughter. [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] You understand what I'm trying to say? I do. The only thing is, I think the teenagers out in the coast, or up around Buffalo, I think it's Buffalo or Rochester, [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] So it would be interesting to know what the parents do there.
[00:10:00]
If it is parents who do help the teenagers to overcome that sensitivity, it would be very helpful. Mary, I think you might be suffering from what a lot of advertisers and people that want to market something in New York. They find New York a very difficult market to break into. And I'm afraid that's what's happening on Alateen. They had a group in Westchester, and I spoke to the young lady, and she said, we can't get anybody to come.
We'll be sitting here by ourselves. So now I'm too busy. Yes, sir? I just want to say something along those lines, and that's that I think it's the teenager thing, [Speech unclear.] If Alateen, as you call them, if it were one startup, and you had half a dozen or a dozen, then you would get new ones faster because they wouldn't be alone. If the idea is you just get a few, and then they feel alone. But if you had a startup, I think that they wouldn't have that feeling that they were the only ones [unclear].
You see, one thing is that an Al-Anon doesn't start these groups. These groups are more or less started by young people themselves. And they have an AA person there and an Al-Anon person there at each meeting. But they're not supposed to do any of the talking. They're more or less chaperones. And they try to have someone there that is not a parent of any of the children there. Would you stand up so we can all hear you, please?
One of the members in our group has about four children, teenage children. And he was quite concerned when he first came to Al-Anon about their children's reactions. He was very concerned when he first came to Al-Anon and talked to me about the problem. And so we had a special meeting on how to treat children. [Speech unclear.] I was more concerned about how to and also how children respond psychologically to alcoholism in the home.
And we wanted to get [unclear] [speech unclear]. And the purpose of that was to find out [unclear] reactions to it, and [unclear] the children's feelings. Now, I imagine [unclear] the children's feelings. Audley? [Unclear], if we have AA in the family, and we take Al-Anon home between AA and Al-Anon in the home, I think [unclear]. But we've got to [unclear] Al-Anon for ourselves [unclear], and allow AA in the home [unclear].
[Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] I had a very interesting experience with someone who said to me the other day, my son got his father into AA. He had heard about AA in school, and they had had some discussions. So, he came home, and he said to his mother, Mother, Dad's an alcoholic. We've got to get him started in AA. And he did. So, that's quite interesting. Anything, any other questions?
Yes? I am a social worker from Amsterdam. So, I am only a [unclear]. I am working as a [unclear] officer. Lady, excuse me, do you want to come up here? Come up here, so you can talk in here. Oh, sure. Because they can't hear. And introduce her, because I think it's very interesting. This is, I'd like to introduce [name unclear], from Holland. She's making a survey on alcoholism throughout the United States.
And it gives me pleasure to introduce her here, right now. As I said, I'm only a visitor, but the first thing I think is to congratulate you with your Al-Anon groups. I have seen them all over the country now, also in Canada, and they do a marvellous job. I can take a lot home with me, and I can try to bring new life in the Al-Anon in Holland. We started with it, but it didn't work too well. Now I have seen it is possible, and I think of what we have seen here, if I tell them, it will give them the spirit to go on and to bring more members to it, then what you said here about the children, I have been in Utah too, I was surprised there, they teach the children at high school, they give them a month's course, that is a young man, who gives them the psychology, the psychiatry, and the problem of the drinking, and at the end of the course, they bring an AA member in,
[00:15:26]
and he tells his story, after that, they have to write a paper about it, the reactions they have on that course, that is really wonderful, how many children have brought their father or their mother to AA, and the result they have of that, that is really wonderful, I have never seen what works as just that, also I saw children, teenagers in Minneapolis, they were there on a party with their parents, and they asked me if they knew something about groups in Holland where children could come and talk about the problem of the parents, fortunately I had heard about Alateen, so I could tell them there was already that in the United States, so they started it, so I think it is different how it is introduced to the children, and then it can be an enormous help, because then they understand their parents are the same as other parents, and sick persons, and they [unclear] ashamed of them. You aren't ashamed about diabetics, so you [unclear] ashamed about alcohol too, I think that it is only the education that has to try to bring the children to understanding, and then I think it will be an enormous help for the children if they have the Alateen, [unclear], but that was what I saw all around, and the results of it were really marvelous.
Maybe about how many groups did you visit while you were there? Oh, this is a trip, this is a trip, two months, I can't count them, I have had how many stops, I think as a whole it will be 30 or more, because in every place I have been and had a stop, I have been at an AA meeting, when it was only one day I went to a meeting, because sometimes I arrived at night and the same night they took me to a meeting, and I have had several parties, so I think AA has done a lot for me, my trip is really out of this world, I will never forget it, and I owe a lot to AA for all the things they gave to me, especially I think to [names unclear] who wrote a letter for me to every place where I came, to the office of the AA, and where I came they had really the red carpet for me, so it was an unforgettable trip for me, so I think all Al-Anons and all AA members, oh yes, why I made this trip, I should get a trip from the government as we call it in Holland, but unfortunately I think it is all over the world, the government has no money anymore to send me out, so that was out of it, then I thought it is better to try to save the money and to go by myself, otherwise I will never come there, and that was what I did and I started a trip, and then when I came to Bedford Hills and I figured out that I did a trip by myself, it was a little bit too much, and they wrote a letter for me and gave me all the help they could give, and so I think that was what made the trip such a nice one, I travelled all around the Greyhound bus and met a lot of people in the bus, I enjoyed it very much, that is what I would say, but I saw quite a bit of people, I think mostly from England, perhaps it was only that there were more from England travelling around than from other countries, but they feel so lonely on the trip around, [unclear] to San Francisco, a lady who was talking about all her friends and the parties she had had, and the beautiful hotel she was in, I am travelling around in the YWCA, so a little bit different, but at the end we were in San Francisco and she said to me, [Discussion unclear.]
[00:20:16]
[Question unclear.] We didn't give a schedule, we just were talking about a possible [unclear]. The [unclear] from Toronto would like to [unclear]. I would like to [unclear]. We are one [unclear] group in Toronto, and [unclear]. I am quite sure that we may make a lot of mistakes, but my question is [unclear]. [Unclear] education. They have to [unclear] education. You can't go and get them from the byways and the roadways. We have to do something and [unclear] children, [unclear]. I think that is the point, We found out because my husband [unclear], and we go to many meetings together, and we [unclear] groups and found they were terrified [unclear]. So we have to be very, very careful about these [unclear], so there is a tremendous amount [unclear] learning and educating these young people. [Unclear].
[Unclear], but I think in the YWCA, oh she said, perhaps we can be there together, I was so surprised after what she had told me, I said if you think you will, it is ok for me, but then I phoned the office of the AA, and then they had the answer lady that answered the telephone on Saturday afternoon, and she asked me where I was staying, I said I have found a hotel for $4 a night, I think it is not too bad for here, oh she said I have a boarding house and they only charge $8 a week, you can stay here if you like, I said please, that is much better for me, after all she didn't charge me anything, that I must say, so it was very cheap for me, and then the lady was very disappointed that I went to the home, but the people there were AA members, they were so kind, and on Sunday they drove me around and said oh let me pick up your [unclear], then she can go with us, first she had told me she wants to walk around because she has had so many parties, and she wants to walk after that, but when I found her and told her that I was very happy that she would drive me around, because then I saw more from San Francisco than when I walked, oh she said it is alright, I like to do that, so she stood at home and we brought her home at night, and she was very pleased with that, but that is only to show you, that I tell the story to show you, if you are on your own that you can be very lonely, so I am very thankful [unclear] picked me up everywhere and [unclear] gave me such a marvelous time, so thank you.
Thank you very much [name unclear]. I think she has given me an idea, it would be good for us to take a trip around, maybe we could do it on an economical basis. I don't want to miss this opportunity Susan, why don't you come up here Wanda, so you can hear, don't pay attention to ponytail, I am not a teenager, most of you don't, but my name is Wanda R., and as [name unclear] has said, I have been asked to chair the 1960 convention, and we have such a nice representation here today of our Al-Anon group, I want to say a little bit about it, it is too early, it may seem that 1960 is a long way away, but we are just about getting started on some of our plans, and I hope that you all go back to your groups and tell them that it is time right now to start thinking about sending your delegates to the convention, it is my hope that this convention will be an international one, with all of our groups participating, and we want to have as wide a representation as possible,
[00:25:03]
so that means that all of us are going to have to get busy and work out plans to send the delegates to the first convention, thank you. I have been looking forward to going to Los Angeles for a long time, now this is a good excuse for me to start saving my pennies. Any other questions? You know, it is awfully funny, when you get home you are going to say, oh, I should have asked that question. Any questions on group level?
Is there any other out of town group here? Anyone here from out of town? Really, Ohio? Would you like to say something please? I am from [place unclear], Pennsylvania, and I know you know where [place unclear] is, but you know where [place unclear] is not, it is about half way to Harrisburg and Gettysburg, and we have an Al-Anon group, we meet once a month, the last meeting I think we had about 22 women at this group, unfortunately we have no men, although I know some men who well belong, but so far we haven't.
There is just one little problem, we don't have any problem that I might ask you as a group, but this one thing is bothering me and [name unclear] hasn't mentioned it, but he hasn't given any answers for it. I personally am AA, so is my husband, and we have been working with the Al-Anon, or I have, with the Al-Anon group in [place unclear] ever since Lois talked in Alexandria about four years ago. So since I was there then, the Al-Anon in [place unclear] more or less depends on me to answer questions and help take the lead.
Now I would like to know, just if anyone has an answer to this, when it is reasonable to withdraw myself from the Al-Anon family group. Now I don't mean entirely, [unclear] being associated with them, that sort of thing, but I think it depends too much on the alcoholic woman who is in the group when there is one there. I think it is very [unclear] of them to let us [unclear] at all, but I think I should withdraw, or I think there should be some sort of pattern set so people in my position would know what to do.
Now if I take this question to my own group, [unclear], they say, oh, we couldn't get along without you, which I know isn't true. [Unclear]. They don't want to, and I'm not going to push anyone into it, but I would very much like to just go and get and sit and listen. Does anyone have any suggestions? Well, I can give you my own opinion and then we can ask other people here. You are a wife of an alcoholic, and my own opinion is that you should belong to an Al-Anon group.
But I belong to AA. Well, that's something to ask Lois what she thinks about. Lois? Do you want to talk a little more? Well, I don't know that I, maybe I need to. I'm just lazy, I guess, about getting up. Well, of course, I think that there couldn't be any pattern laid down for something like that, because I think it's an individual situation that would have to be worked out within the group itself.
I don't know whether you were at the meeting, the AA meeting before this, where Bill was talking about rotating leadership and so on. I think that is a very important point, and I think it helps the people in the group to take responsibility and to be able to express themselves. I think I agree with Sue that you could certainly still always keep on with the group, but I think it's something you will have to work out with the people there in the group yourself.
But I think you're right in feeling that rotating leadership is a very wise thing, and that the group, people themselves will have far more self-assurance and development and far better perspective on things if they take responsibility, I think, themselves.
[00:30:11]
May I just explain one little thing to the gentleman before I forget the thought? Of course, you know, it isn't only for us to understand AA and discuss it with our husbands. Our aim in life is to practice the Twelve Steps ourselves. That's the primary purpose of Al-Anon, is to do something about our attitude. By applying the Twelve Steps, we change our attitude toward life in general and toward our alcoholic and toward problems.
So you see what you inferred there that she might be able to discuss AA with her husband, you see? Our purposes are different. Our purposes are to practice the Twelve Steps and do something about ourselves in Al-Anon. Thanks very much for that explanation. Actually, I'm not familiar with the operation of the Al-Anon. [Speech unclear.] See, I'm up here today for two reasons I was downstairs. Number one, I wanted to see Lois.
That's always a great attraction. That's why I'm in an Al-Anon, too. I always wanted to see Lois. I'd like to be here. And [unclear] the other room. [Unclear], I'd be happy to come and help. Wonderful. It's just been quite unique to me that an AA member could really be such an active part of [unclear]. I can't help feeling that. The AAs won't let us Al-Anons be an active member in their fellowship.
It's rather unique, I think. I'm expressing my own opinion. Now, this is the point that I have in mind. I'm wondering in my own mind, because we have several of our girls here today. We should verify this. We do have AA speakers in our group. But the girls have said over and over again, many of our Al-Anon meetings, I understand, are held close as AA meetings sometimes are held close. But they get a lot more therapy among themselves that they sort of hold back when there are alcoholics present in the room.
So this really is fascinating to me, and [unclear]. Well, it isn't unique. No. It isn't unique. No. That's what's happened many times. It's quite understandable that it should happen because there are AA women who feel that Al-Anons are such a wonderful thing and have started Al-Anon groups and have been welcome in their midst. [Question unclear.] How about this lady, an alcoholic? She's an alcoholic and a member of AA.
Well, to me this is unique. But she is also married to an alcoholic. Let's remember that. She is married to an alcoholic and a member of AA. So that puts her in an entirely different position than if she were a member of AA and started a group and married to a non-alcoholic. You see? That would change the picture. Just a minute. Toronto. [Speech unclear.] But our husbands are in an entirely different position.
We find in Toronto, in our group, we call ours in Toronto family groups. Yes. We have alcoholic girls who belong to our Al-Anons and we welcome them. They come there as a wife and a mother. And some of our strongest alcoholic girls are members of AA, whose husbands are [unclear] alcoholics. They still are mothers and wives. And they come and they get a different blend. And some of our finest members of our family group, which Al-Anon is just the name, don't forget, just the name, and they are members of both.
And they are our finest girls. We love them. And they say that they get so much from going to their AA and their Al-Anon. And I, from an Al-Anon, go to AA, and I get as much from the AA but a little more from the Al-Anon. [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] Wanda, I believe you have a question. I think that it's worth a point that when this question came up in our group, it was a little bit different, and [name unclear] pointed out you can't make any generalizations.
However, we've had several instances where they felt that the alcoholic woman
[00:35:03]
could use help in a case where the husband is also an alcoholic. They apparently weren't being helped by the AA program. They thought they could get help in the Al-Anon program. And in the discussion within our group, we came to the conclusion that they really belong in the AA program because we actually live by the same principles. We follow the same steps. And so if they were not willing to work with AA programs, [unclear] willing to work the Al-Anon program, then they [unclear] stay in AA.
And I think it was interesting. It is a little different where [unclear]. I do think that [unclear] Al-Anon if they are actually the alcoholic. [Unclear]. The young lady in green wanted to say something before. You put your hand up, didn't you? No, no. Oh, no? When you did send from an out-of-town group, you said Al-Anon. Yes, in Toledo. Anyone else here from the group? Yes. Tell us a little bit. I just had a second anniversary.
We just celebrated our second anniversary in November. And in my original group, we had [unclear]. So I think that shows a lot. We're very happy today. Oh, good. Thank you. Any more questions? The girl back there from Akron. Where? Oh, there she is. Well, I remember the Akron-Al-Anon group, and it was their first anniversary last September. I've been attending the group since, oh, I think the last part of June, right after Founders Day.
And I think the first thing [unclear] really interested in Al-Anon, [Unclear] the first Ohio conference. [Speech unclear.] But still I didn't attend the Al-Anon meeting. And then my husband and I were in Toronto last February, and [unclear] the one meeting. [Speech unclear.] And then I was in New York in April, and I attended the Al-Anon conference. And then I kept going, well, anyway, until we had Founders Day.
I started attending the Akron-Al-Anon group. And we have, as a group, a high 25 women. But I would say the core is about 12. [Unclear], and then we have a meeting. But we have a high 25. Wonderful. A young lady with a white hat. [Unclear]. [Speech unclear.] And you're talking over our heads with the way that you're organized. We're new with Al-Anon. We're the same age, a year old. And we have begged for program planning and how we can get the women of Al-Anon, potential members, how we can get them [unclear].
We've begged, we've pleaded, we've announced it, and we just don't seem to get it. There's an interest there. And we seem to be very active already [unclear], and we don't know what we're not doing. And I think there's something we're not doing that we can help with. But [unclear], our meetings, our open meetings, [unclear] a week, which seems to be the way that AA wants. And then when we ask for regular Al-Anon closed meetings, they don't have the time to go to the open meetings with the AA.
They're going to closed meetings with Al-Anon So we are just in a standstill about what to do. We have to get the numbers. We know they ought to be there. Well, I think it is a rather difficult situation that there are no closed AA meetings. Are there none? They have two closed meetings a month. Well, and those would be [unclear] Al-Anon meetings. Well, we have a very big problem. [Speech unclear.]
[00:40:05]
I think it would be a good idea if you gave your name and address to Henrietta, and she might be able to send you some sort of help. Well, there were two people that offered. Yes, but even outside of that, because we could go on forever. Now, Audrey? Well, [unclear] experience, we've had our [unclear] anniversary this year, and up until about two and a half, three years ago, [unclear] five or six [unclear] people.
However, the meeting was there [unclear], and there were a few of us [unclear], and I think [unclear]. But [unclear], and the time has only changed from once a month to twice a month. It moved just a little bit to about 12 people, and then I had the nerve to suggest that we should [unclear]. You'll never get everybody there. Nobody will come [unclear]. You know, they [unclear] and so forth. But we've grown from the 12 a week to about 18, between 18 and 30 [unclear].
So it will grow, but you've got to have more meetings and [unclear]. These are very important. [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] [Speech unclear.] Toronto? Yes. I have a very short one. If you have an alcoholic husband in your group who is in favor of the Al-Anon, find an Al-Anon someplace who has been in for a while, who has [unclear] from this program, and ask [unclear], and tell [unclear] what [unclear] has gained from them, and then we'll see what happens.
How would that help? How would that help? When we started our group in Montclair seven years ago, there were very few of us there. Now, we meet every Friday night, and [unclear]. We eat together after the meetings. But we have [unclear] meetings. [Speech unclear.] But I believe that Al-Anon, like AA, [unclear], rather than promotion. But one thing, and I'm a promoter. I do say that we, a few of us, it used to be that we [unclear] every new one.
It's not a problem now. We try to keep the old ones going back. But we try to get every new person who comes to AA, and we try to get a few people, a few interested alcoholics, when they went on [unclear], to get to the new man, or the new woman, that their wife or husband comes to AA, comes to Al-Anon, I believe that, as my husband says, the wives are [unclear]. I would just like to say that we now have about [number unclear] as much [unclear].
There's a young lady in green. There are some friends from North Carolina, and we have a very active group of guys, and the women meet twice a month, every other Friday night, and the men meet once a week, but we meet twice a month. We have a closed meeting [unclear], the same time the men and women meet. And then once a month, which is the nicest, nicest [unclear], I think, is the way that new Al-Anon members feel most welcome.
We have [unclear], and then we always try to [unclear] [speech unclear], and that goes into [unclear]. But [unclear], we have a group of families, we have a group that's made up of ten different towns [unclear], and working on [unclear], [unclear] in those towns. Oh, very nice. Lois, do you have a suggestion? Well, my suggestion is to try and get some wives before their husbands are in AA, as well as the AA wives, AA husband wives, perhaps by putting a little notice in the paper when your meetings are, and where they are.
Of course, being sure to be anonymous about it. I think I'm going in for [unclear] publicity. Well, Lois, we do that. Yes, lots of groups do that. And because we, I think Henrietta will tell you that the membership of Al-Anon is now at least 50 percent [unclear] wives of people, of relatives of people who are not [unclear].
[00:45:00]
We have [unclear] the Al-Anon family group [unclear], but we've tried, well, everything that we know to try. We had some Al-Anon members, [unclear], [unclear] Al-Anon, so we're just not growing. Well, all groups have phases of losing members and then gaining members, and just don't be discouraged by it, that's all. We won't, but that is part of it. If we can, we will try. I think the thing to do also is to work on your programming.
We used to send out a notice that once a month, we used to get our meetings booked ahead of time, and we sent a notice to everyone, we take their names and address when they come in the group, and we send a notice out to them of the next month, and that used to keep the interest alive. We used to be able to get some members, some old members, members that hadn't come for two, three years, and they finally, their interest revived.
But we haven't been doing that lately, but that's just another suggestion. I'd like to reiterate one point that Audrey made, and that is about the frequency of meetings. My local meeting [unclear] for years met only twice a month, and simply because they didn't have the money to pay for our meeting place every week. So about a year ago, one of the women offered her home for the alternate meeting, because there were many of the newer members coming in who still were living with an active alcoholic problem.
[Unclear], they needed more than two meetings a month, and our group has just about doubled since that time in attendance at every meeting. And we're now right about 25, and it used to be about 12. So I think that having more frequent meetings helps. I think the girl from Akron wanted to say something. First of all, I was going to add that at least half of those women that attended all our meetings were women with an alcoholic problem.
We find that's the case in our group. I think our percentage is even a little higher. In fact, I think they're more faithful in attendance. When we first used to go to AA, and we'd see the wives come, and their husbands sobered up, [unclear] the wives changed. You could see how their husbands were doing by the expression on the wives. And I said I was going to start a business of taking pictures before and after.
And I think that holds true with Al-Anon. You see the girls come in, they're ready to jump off the bridge, and if they keep coming for two or three meetings, or four or five meetings, their expression has changed. It seems that a weight has been lifted off their shoulders, even though they have an active alcoholic in the home. Well, it's getting late, and I think people are getting hungry. So I would like to close this meeting.
I say alcoholism is a family disease, and I feel that with the close cooperation of AA and Al-Anon and Alateen, we can bring about a more complete rehabilitation of the family so that they can take their rightful place in society. On behalf of the Al-Anon Family Group headquarters and the Al-Anon Family Group Council, I want to thank the New York Intergroup Association for giving us this opportunity to share their program.
It's a wonderful tribute to the individual members of Al-Anon and Al-Anon as a whole. I think it's a milestone for the family groups. I think that's all I've got to say, and I want to thank everyone again for coming here and participating in this wonderful meeting. I would say that the workshop was a success. Will you all join me in the Lord's Prayer? Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
[00:50:03]
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. Amen.